Columbus Day (2008)

User Rating:

5.5/10   

Director:

Charles Burmeister

Writer:

Charles Burmeister (writer)

Release Date:

2008 (USA)

Genre:

Crime | Drama | Thriller

Tagline:

A game of life & death.

Plot:

A thief tries to fix the damage done during the biggest heist of his career. |

Plot Keywords:

Thief | Held At Gunpoint | Pistol | Secret Passage | Child With Gun

Cast

Val Kilmer	...	John Cologne
Marg Helgenberger	...	Alice
Wilmer Valderrama	...	Max
Bobb'e J. Thompson	...	Antoine
Ashley Johnson	...	Alana
Lobo Sebastian	...	Jimmy Espinosa
Michael Muhney	...	Detective Daniels
Mark Kelly	...	Leonard
Shelley Malil	...	Babul
Richard Edson	...	Manny
Sean Blakemore	...	Officer Walters
Larrs Jackson	...	Executive Man
Melissa Bacelar	...	Cute Girl in Park
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Rick Avery	...	Driver
David Winston Barge	...	Detective
Bryan Hanna	...	Jake
Ivana Milicevic	...	Cheryl
Rocco Passafaro	...	Freddie
Miles Platt	...	Edward
Marc Schaffer	...	Garbage Truck Driver
Wilson Tai
Courtney Thomas	...	Woman
Eric Thomas Wilson	...	Cop #2

MPAA:

Rated R for some violence and language.

Runtime:

90 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

USA:R | Australia:MA (2009) | Australia:MA | Argentina:13 | Netherlands:12 | Singapore:M18 | Singapore:M18 (DVD rating) | Singapore:NC-16

Filming Locations:

Echo Park, Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Bert Marcus Productions

Trivia:

Charles Burmeister's script for Columbus Day won the Chesterfield Screenwriting Fellowship sponsored by Paramount Pictures and was named Top 30 of 5,500 scripts in the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences' Nicholl Fellowship.

Quotes:

John Cologne: After I'm done talking to you, I feel good.

Movie Connections:

References "Wheel of Fortune" (1975)

It's kinda like finding out that the chick you just met and are about to have sex with, is in fact, a dude.

After a kickass beginning sequence with a fat Val Kilmer running around in a trench coat, I was filled with joy. Finally, a good Val Kilmer movie!

Boy... was I wrong.

This drama is set in a park, where Val Kilmer walks around in it (surprisingly), talking to past and present relationships in order to find some sense in his life and if his profession as a thief is really worth giving up everything he loves to it. If I wanted to see Val Kilmer in a trenchcoat, walking around and talking on the phone with a bunch of people for an hour and 20 minutes, I would've gotten high first.

The pace of the movie is horrible. So if you aren't patient, then you are sh*t out of luck. Latest sensation Bobb'e J stalks Kilmer because of his unfamiliar face and begins having a conversation, which ends in an endearing relationship. In this doesn't seem interesting to you, then imagine seeing it paced a la Good Shepperd.

The script is also horrible. A couple of interesting situations and whatever, but who would've thought that walking around in a park and phone conversations would make for a good movie? The character of Bobb'e is also redundant and unnecessary, whilst the numerous flashbacks striking the final nail in the coffin.

The acting is surprising, especially from Kilmer and Marg, but it doesn't save the movie. Wilmer Bananarama is tedious and only there for whoever in their sane mind wants to see him in anything other than That 70's Show. There is also some guy named Michael Muhney, who is supposedly a big shot according to the back of the DVD. He was wasted here, so if you want to see this movie for Michael whoever, then you will be sorely disappointed.

Anyways, I cannot recommend this one unless you have a Val Kilmer shrine in your basement. This is quite possibly, the worst Val Kilmer vehicle I have ever seen. It isn't entertaining, it isn't well written, it isn't good. Save yourself the money or the bandwidth.