Bryan Loves You (2008)

User Rating:

2.3/10   

Director:

Seth Landau

Writer:

Seth Landau (writer)

Release Date:

23 September 2008 (USA)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

Have you met Bryan?

Plot:

True 1993 story of a cult that takes over an Arizona town. |

Plot Keywords:

Character Name In Title

Cast

Tony Todd	...	The Narrator
George Wendt	...	Mr. Flynn
Tiffany Shepis	...	Cindy
Lloyd Kaufman	...	Jonathan's helper
Daniel Roebuck	...	Professor Spine
Brinke Stevens	...	Evil Nurse
Chuck Williams	...	Sheridan
Seth Landau	...	Jonathan
Jilon Ghai	...	Brody
Bobby Slayton	...	Interviewer
Candy Stanton	...	Nicole
Jeff Dylan Graham	...	Josh
Daniel Schweiger	...	Charlie
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Jacqui Allen	...	Capri
Timothy Avent	...	Uncle Gary's patient
Brooke Bagnato	...	Stephanie
Justin Bagnato	...	Travis
Katey Cooper	...	Cult Member
Rik Currier	...	Cult member
Tony D'Alessio	...	Uncle Gary
Kevin Hoelzer	...	Hospital perimeter guard
Dale Hoff	...	Mr. Sheridan's helper
William E. Johnson III	...	Hospital front desk attendant
Tori King	...	Linda
Tom Massari	...	God Harnish
Dominik Musiol	...	Greg
Garry Myers	...	Ray
Tom Noga	...	Frenchette
Debbie Overbey	...	Nurse
Roger Prenger	...	God Moore
Adam Roa	...	Student
Shane Stevens	...	Jim
Topher Straus	...	Reporter
Laura Waters	...	Dawn

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Filming Locations:

Apache Junction, Arizona, USA

Company:

Landau Motion Pictures

Sorry, Bryan, we hate you......

How could one go wrong with a film about a masked cult in an Arizona desert town that worships someone called Bryan? The premise sounds pretty good, the execution, though, leaves a lot to be desired.

This is mostly video-taped "archive footage" from a man who was investigating this cult. There's a bit of creepiness to the proceedings but mostly it's just plain dull. A classroom full of kids with Bryan masks is probably the most effective scene in the movie, but after that, well, there's nothing to hold one's interest. Even the presence of a few "cult film" types, like Tony Todd, George Wendt, Brinke Stevens, and even Lloyd Kaufman, can't save this, because their roles are pretty nondescript and brief. I can't really stress how disappointing this whole thing is, and it sounded so interesting. It's not.

Anchor Bay used to be one of my favorite movie companies, and now its reduced to putting stuff out like this....pretty sad. Were they not making any money with the classic horror films that they used to put out? Very sad.

Anyway, "Bryan Loves You" is not a good film, by any stretch of the imagination, and the box art even states that it's "eerily reminiscent of A Clockwork Orange". Like hell it is. Avoid, avoid, avoid. 2 out of 10.