Pirates (2005) (V)

User Rating:

7.6/10   

Director:

Joone

Writers:

Joone (story)
Max Massimo (writer)

Release Date:

26 September 2005 (USA)

Genre:

Adult | Adventure | Comedy | Fantasy

Plot:

Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate...

Plot Keywords:

Pirates | Pubic Hair | Lesbian Sex | Breast Suckling | Semen

Awards:

13 wins & 10 nominations

Cast

Jesse Jane	...	Jules Steele
Carmen Luvana	...	Isabella
Janine Lindemulder	...	Serena (as Janine)
Devon	...	Madelyn
Teagan	...	Christina (as Teagan Presley)
Evan Stone	...	Capt. Edward Reynolds
Tommy Gunn	...	Capt. Victor Stagnetti
Kris Slater	...	Manuel Valenzuela
Austyn Moore	...	Angelina
Jenaveve Jolie	...	Pirate Dancer
Steven St. Croix	...	Marco
Nhan	...	Wu Chow
Frank Bukkwyd	...	Oxford
Brian Surewood	...	Gino
Harry Bali	...	Priest

Also Known As:

Pirates XXX (USA) (promotional title)

MPAA:

Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity and language.

Runtime:

129 min | Japan:72 min | USA:80 min (R Rated)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

UK:18R | USA:R (edited version) | UK:18 (edited version) | USA:X (original rating) (original version) | Australia:R (edited version) | Australia:X | Hong Kong:III | Japan:R-18 (censored)

Filming Locations:

California, USA

Company:

Adam & Eve Productions

Trivia:

Some scenes were filmed aboard the HMS Bounty, at The Pier in St. Petersburg, Florida. The city of St. Petersburg, which owns The Pier, did not realize that the film was porn; the producers represented the film as a PG-13-level comedy for television.

Quotes:

Capt. Edward Reynolds: Dead skeletons tell no tales.

Movie Connections:

Spoofs "Star Trek" (1966)

Erotic pirate film plays well even when you remove the sex

Its a pirate porn movie thats actually plays as a decent little movie.

Sue me I liked this film. I'm not sure I liked it because its better than most adult films or because its a good movie in its own right. Certainly the fact the film can have 40 minutes of sex removed and have it survive says a great deal(The full version runs over two hours). Better than many soft-core trash films that play late night on cable this is actually a movie I'd want to see again.

The plot has something to do with a pirate captain wanting to get a magical Incan scepter that will give him great power to this end he kidnaps a recently married man who holds the key to the hereabouts of the scepter and throws the wife overboard. He is pursued by some pirate hunters who pick up the wife and remain close on the heels of the villains.

What can I say the acting is wildly uneven, but the cast is still game. The effects are uneven, but serviceable (and provide a great homage/spoof with a marvelous riff on the skeleton scene in Jason and the Argonauts). The script is actually reasonably good and properly silly (though with some of the cast anything beyond silly might have been a stretch). I'm guessing in mainstream hands this might have been a successful pirate action film.

My only real complaint is that all of the main women look about the same, large breasted blonds of similar stature and builds. They all pretty much blend together. Its an odd thing to do when the film tries very hard to be something other than a stereotypical adult film.

If you're tired of the typical late night fare you find on many pay cable stations give this film a try. You will laugh with and at the movie, especially if you keep in mind the fact that its source is an adult film.