Simon Says (2006)

User Rating:

4.7/10   

Director:

William Dear

Writer (WGA):

William Dear (written by)

Genre:

Horror | Thriller

Tagline:

You forgot to say..... SIMON SAYS

Plot:

Five college friends choose to spend their vacation debauching at the riverside. They find the perfect place to camp out...

Plot Keywords:

Twins | Burned To Death | Stabbed In The Back | Broken Ankle | Split Personality

Cast

Crispin Glover	...	Simon / Stanley
Margo Harshman	...	Kate
Greg Cipes	...	Zack
Kelly Vitz	...	Ashley
Artie Baxter	...	Riff
Carrie Finklea	...	Vicky
Lori Lively	...	Lonnie (as Lori Lynn Lively)
Bruce Glover	...	Sam
Blake Lively	...	Jenny
Oliver Dear	...	Hitchhiker
Leila Johnson	...	Molly
Erica Hubbard	...	Sommer
Bart Johnson	...	Garth
Daniella Monet	...	Sarah
Kelly Blatz	...	Will

MPAA:

Rated R for bloody horror violence and gore, drug use, language and brief sexuality/nudity.

Runtime:

USA:87 min | Greece:90 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Certification:

Germany:18 | Singapore:M18 | Australia:MA (2009) | USA:R | UK:15

Filming Locations:

Grass Valley, California, USA

Company:

Simon Says Productions

Trivia:

WILHELM SCREAM: heard when Zack jumps and rolls down the big hill.

Goofs:

Continuity: When Stanley is shot with the paint balls, they first hit him just above his waist, then, later in the film they are higher up his chest.

Movie Connections:

References Field of Dreams (1989)

It's Raining Pickaxes, Hallellujah!

Ah finally, here's another absurdly grotesque and over-the-top cheesy gorefest-slasher that could have come straight out of the 1980's, with its demented killer, stereotype characters and downright insane story lines! Many avid fans agree Crispin Glover is a genuine hero of the horror genre, and he obviously experienced the time of his life starring in this unspeakably nasty homage to bad B-movies & backwoods exploitation horror. Me says: Simon Rocks... and so does his equally sick-in-the-head brother Stanley. Glover stars in a double role as the redneck twin brothers Simon & Stanley, terrorizing a van full of empty-headed teenagers on their camping trip in the woods. Whilst enjoying random sex and soft-drugs, drooling Simon sneaks up on the teenagers and kills them – as well as some other unfortunate bystanders –in some of the most ingenious ways you'll ever see! Simon is particularly creative with pickaxes, as he developed several wonderful traps and ambushes all over the woods that mercilessly catapult the rusty weapons in the direction of the victims. Needless to say Simon's macabre games result in a gigantic blood bath, with gory impalement, decapitations and dismemberment. Of course, there absolutely isn't any tension or plot-development and the only story twist that is worth mentioning can easily be guessed long before it's revealed on screen. Crispin Glover (unintentionally?) finds a perfect balance between creepiness and humor. Although constantly exaggerating in performing his odd roles, he somehow occasionally manages to look creepy & menacing nonetheless. Perhaps that's just because he is Crispin Glover and always has this aura of morbidity surrounding him. One moment he's an ultra-creepy maniac who makes eyeless puppets out of his victims, yet the next he's a sneering lunatic who crushes little fluffy dogs with his feet and yells out silly lines like "You forgot to say Simon Says!!". The camping teenagers are your average routine and colorless lambs to the slaughter, including the pot-head, the muscled macho, the bimbo (who's likely to get topless at some point in the movie), the girl who always complains and the one remotely intelligent & likable chick who will presumably survive the massacre. Textbook slasher-fodder, but I couldn't possibly care less because "Simon Says" is a highly welcome return to the outlandish splatter fun of the 80's. Even the whole clichéd "family reunion" sequence near the end of the film immediately reminded me off several titles on my endless list of 80's favorites. I personally guarantee "Simon Says" is the ideal midnight-movie crowd pleaser, terrific entertainment to watch with a bunch of buddies.