Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005)

User Rating:

2.4/10   

Director:

Gary Jones

Writers:

Gary Jones (writer)
Jeffrey Miller (writer)

Release Date:

31 May 2005 (USA)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

Some Things Should Stay Lost at Sea.

Plot:

A group of friends unleash a demonic Pirate from a treasure chest. |

Plot Keywords:

Pirate | Decapitation | Murder | Female Nudity | Stripper

Cast

Rhett Giles	...	Jolly Roger
Tom Nagel	...	Alex
Kristina Korn	...	Jessie
Thomas Downey	...	Mathis (as Tom Downey)
Kim Little	...	Lowenstein
Pamela Munro	...	Mayor Bates
Dean N. Arevalo	...	Tanner
Sergio Samayoa	...	Yee (as Sergio)
Justin Brannock	...	Tom
Megan Lee Ethridge	...	Sasha
Hajar Northern	...	Eve
Ted Cochran	...	Phillip
Conrad Angel Corral	...	Mr. Sims (as Conrad Corral)
Spencer Jones	...	Abernathy
Amanda Barton	...	Agnes (as Amanda E. Barton)

MPAA:

Rated R for violence/gore, some sexual content and language.

Runtime:

USA:80 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Certification:

UK:18 | Canada:13+ (Quebec) | Canada:14A (Manitoba) | Canada:18A (Ontario) | USA:R

Company:

Asylum, The

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: In the beginning of the film Alex gives Jessie his class ring. When she throws it lands near the beach, but when the police find the ring it has moved up near the camp site.

Movie Connections:

Referenced in Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove - Behind the Scenes (2005) (V)

Asylum Filmmakers need to be institutionalized

I have viewed a handful of films produced by the low budget "masters" at Asylum Entertainment and have yet to watch anything that could vaguely be described as entertaining. That being said, I rented Jolly Roger against my better judgment and was not surprised by the poor quality of this aimless, clichéd movie.

In Jolly Roger we have a pirate who is resurrected through the blood of a teenager (he cuts his hand on a treasure chest that is just laying about on a beach, for several hundred years mind you) and his blood brings back to life the title villain so he can go about killing descendants of the pirates who wronged him many ages ago. Of course, all of the descendants still remain in dead-end seaside community Cutter's Cove as our current transient lifestyles are abandoned in this sorry excuse for cinema. So the pirate runs around Cutter's Cove and cuts the heads off of people, all in undramatic and sometimes insipid fashion. Trust me, there is a difference between camp and crap and this pirate... horror/comedy?... falls into the latter.

GORE: $$$$ (Goregounds won't be letdown as there are more flying heads and blood splattered walls in this film than any other film I have viewed in recent memory. However, if you are a fan of unique ways to kill characters in films, then this will not appeal to you).

NUDITY: $$$$ (Much like the gore, the skin is plentiful in this film as well. Jolly Roger attends a strip club seemingly for the sole purpose of utterly the films most famous line, a clichéd piece of dialogue that is uttered by the buxom Bernadette Perez "Is that a musket in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" Jolly Roger also kills a topless girl near the beginning while she is making love to her boyfriend).

STORY: $ (We've all seen the same premise in The Fog, and John Carpenter's film is head and shoulders above this garbage. The entire script is sophomoric with the worst dialogue this side of an Andy Sidaris film. Everything in this film has been done before... and done much better. Is it impossible for low budget horror filmmakers to conceive of another way to bring back a dead character? The tired accidental spilling of blood has wore out its welcome).

ACTING: $$ (Rhett Giles as Jolly Roger does the best job here as everyone else in the cast seems lost. Tom Downey wasn't too bad as the sheriff but his dialogue was atrocious and you could tell he wasn't happy with uttering his lines. The two young leads were rather weak but to their credit, their characters were carbon copied horror teens. Bernadette Perez, as the wise-acre stripper, gave a bit more depth to her role than you normally see from your typical actress/stripper).