The Poseidon Adventure (2005) (TV)

User Rating:

3.9/10   

Director:

John Putch

Writers (WGA):

Paul Gallico (novel)
Bryce Zabel (teleplay)

Release Date:

20 November 2005 (USA)

Genre:

Adventure | Action | Drama | Thriller

Tagline:

THE GREATEST DANGER IS ALREADY ON BOARD

Plot:

A cruise ship succumbs to a terrorist act and capsizes on New Year's eve. A rag-tag group of survivors, spearheaded by a priest and a homeland security agent, must journey through the upside down vessel and attempt an escape. |

Plot Keywords:

Escape | Upside Down | Terrorist | Priest | New Year's Eve

Cast

Adam Baldwin	...	Mike Rogo
Rutger Hauer	...	Bishop August Schmidt
Steve Guttenberg	...	Richard Clarke
Bryan Brown	...	Jeffrey Eric Anderson
C. Thomas Howell	...	Doctor Ballard
Peter Weller	...	Captain Paul Gallico
Alex Kingston	...	Suzanne Harrison
Alexa Hamilton	...	Rachel Clarke
Clive Mantle	...	James Martin
Sylvia Syms	...	Belle Rosen
Amber Sainsbury	...	Shelby Clarke
Rory Copus	...	Dylan Clarke
Geoffrey Pierson	...	Admiral Jennings (as Geoff Pierson)
Peter Dobson	...	Agent Percy
Nathalie Boltt	...	Shoshanna (as Nathalie Bollt)

Also Known As:

The New Poseidon Adventure (Australia)

Runtime:

174 min | Australia:156 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Certification:

Australia:PG | Singapore:PG | USA:Not Rated | Finland:K-11 | Greece:K-13

Filming Locations:

South Africa

Company:

Larry Levinson Productions

Trivia:

Some characters and rooms were renamed to pay homage; the ship's captain was named Captain Gallico for writer Paul Gallico on whose novel the story is based; the ship's doctor was named Dr. Ballard for 'Bob Ballard (I)' leader of the 1985 expedition that discovered the remains of the Titanic; the ship's lounge named Jak's Lounge for Jak Castro president of The Poseidon Adventure Fan Club.

Goofs:

Continuity: When the ship is sinking, the hole on the side appears and reappears between shots.

Quotes:

Badawi: You'll die with me.
Mike Rogo: Not today.

Movie Connections:

References Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Wrong-headed, blasphemous piece of drek.

There's little sense in "reviewing" something so devoid of logic, appeal, captivation, construction or even suspense, so instead a few of the many mistakes in attempting to remake the memorable 1972 feature film will be listed.

~~The insertion of a terrorist plot. All this did was prolong the capsizement, add characters no one cares about and feebly try to appear timely when actually the full force of nature has proved to the world to be plenty to deal with! ~~The removal of a strong leading character and his antagonist. Half the suspense of the original was wondering if the survivors were doing the right thing and they often fought about it in between climbing and trying to stay alive. No one really seems in charge here. ~~The complete stripping of any Biblical symbolism, which added a subtle gravity to the original as the characters followed their leader, sometimes with great sacrifice. The book gave Reverend Scott twelve followers. This thing doesn't even have Rev. Scott! ~~The omission of the most popular character among die-hard fans -- Linda Rogo. She provided sass and comic relief throughout the suspenseful original. She's scarcely even mentioned here. Also, the removal of Manny Rosen lessens the interest and the meaning of Belle Rosen's character despite endless references to him. ~~The absence of great music, which enhanced the original tremendously. ~~The lack of urgency. The original survivors could only barely keep ahead of the water pouring in. Here, the ballroom survivors stay alive much longer and most characters hardly get wet at all! Except for Belle, no one of any importance is killed. Only the non-name performers die and their deaths are telegraphed to where a six year-old could see them coming. It was never a "given" in the original that there would even be a rescue as there is here with all the endless naval sequences. ~~One of the key sequences of the original film, Belle's swim and heart attack, is so poorly handled as to be laughable. There's no discussion beforehand, no need for her to go first and no benefit from it, since the priest swims right beside her all the way. The whole point was that no one was sure it could be done. Since the priest kept up with her, he obviously could have done it alone first!

These are only a few of the major points. In addition, there are countless inanities and confounding changes which do nothing to enhance the story. The capsizement no longer takes place at midnight and no further reference is made to a new year. Why? Was it so wrong to have the explosion happen at 12:00? Part of the drama was that everyone went from so jubilant to so terrified within minutes! A singer preposterously strips off her dress at the drop of a hat in order to provide masks for people, yet Mrs. Rosen has a large flowy jacket that could have easily done (for three times as many people!) This film asks the audience to believe that a teen girl can follow instructions left by a Sharpie marker on the walls and ceilings of an overturned liner. Additionally, a teen boy films everything with a video recorder even when death is at hand. He never once wonders where his father is, but just keeps taping everything. Ridiculous. The film provides a massive insult to professional massage therapists as a female one practically has her left breast exposed during a session and proceeds to flirt with and eventually sleep with the married client. The characters are practically bereft of engrossing traits or texture. They don't even get to the point of stereotypes. They're merely props!

Is anything good? The overturning sequences aren't bad, actually, and this time the viewer gets to see other areas of the ship such as the kitchen and (ridiculously) a bedroom with a copulating couple in it. Also, the sets tend to be fairly decent throughout. Otherwise, it's a pretty dire affair.

Several of the actors (Hauer, Brown, Van Wyk, Hamilton) attempt to inject some presence into their nondescript roles. Most of them are wasting their time and get no thanks for their efforts. Time and gravity have been very cruel to several of the people on hand here (Guttenberg, Weller, Howell and Syms) and it's depressing to see them wallowing in such a poorly conceived project. It was a pointless idea to begin with. The producers should have just made up their own story and left the name Poseidon out of it. One can only hope that Wolfgang Peterson, director of the upcoming feature remake (!) learned something from this futile mess. It should be noted that this was originally a FOUR HOUR mini-series and so a great deal of character development was cut out to make it a three hour movie. they should have trimmed down the rescue and government scenes and left the emphasis on the ship, where it always should have been! Lastly, 5 out of the original's 10 primary cast members were Oscar-winning actors. With talent like that you can rely on the performers to fill in the blanks. Unfortunately, most of the people in this would be lucky to work as a seat-filler at the Academy Awards ceremony.