Mac McKing:
You're a fart-sniffing, road-apple-chewing, scab-licking female dog!
Singleton:
Well, you...
Mac McKing:
I ain't done yet! You're ugly, your mama dresses you funny, you stink like toe fungus and you ride the short school bus!
David Durango:
[
"The Great Fear" chases him over the wall] Oh, shit!
David Durango:
[
punches Singleton in the face after Singleton hits Hayley] You never, ever hit a girl, you creep!
Johnnie Smalls:
I'm really sorry, Hayley. I'll be sure to take all the blame.
Hayley Goodfairer:
Can I ask you somethin'?
Johnnie Smalls:
Sure, I guess.
Hayley Goodfairer:
It's just
[
pauses]
Hayley Goodfairer:
where's David? I thought he'd come back. Cuz, you know, I thought he
[
pauses]
Hayley Goodfairer:
nevermind. Forget it. It's stupid.
Johnnie Smalls:
It's not stupid. He does.
Hayley Goodfairer:
Does what?
Johnnie Smalls:
Likes you.
Hayley Goodfairer:
He does?
Johnnie Smalls:
Duh.
Hayley Goodfairer:
But, he never said.
Johnnie Smalls:
Boys don't do that. Did you ever tell him?
Hayley Goodfairer:
[
thinks about it then shakes her head 'no'] Could you tell him for me?
Johnnie Smalls:
Why?
Hayley Goodfairer:
Cuz he's like the fastest boy I've ever seen and I just thought
[
pauses]
Hayley Goodfairer:
Forget it. It's stupid.
Johnnie Smalls:
No, it's not stupid. Stay here. I'll be back.
[
she watches him leave]
Narrator:
David and Haylie went on through high school. then they went their seperate ways. Ten years later, they met again, but just as they first met, David was too scared to talk, so haylie did the talking for him.
Narrator:
She said, "You're supposed to say will you marry me." And so he did.
Singleton:
Yeah, well, you play like a girl!
Hayley Goodfairer:
Excuse me?
[
Johnnie just lifted the lantern up to show the skull]
Mac McKing:
Do you know what that looks like?
Jenny:
We see it, Mac, now shut up!
[
Goliath growls and there's a bunch of noise]
Mac McKing:
Did you guys hear that?
Penny:
[
Penny and Jenny grab each other] We heard it, Mac, now hut up!
Johnnie Smalls:
Godspeed, Astro Jake.
Hayley Goodfairer:
Earth to boy.
Johnnie Smalls:
With all due respect sir, rockets are my life.
Mac McKing:
If they were boys, we could beat 'em up.
David Durango:
Well they ain't and we can't.
Hot Young Lady:
God! He stole my gum!
Mrs. Goodfairer:
A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle.
Narrator:
We were out of ideas and I was dead meat. Untill Mac had an epiphany, which, since it was such a girlie word, he didn't have many of.
Tarqell:
Is that legal?
Saul:
Is what legal?
Tarqell:
Girls, on a baseball diamond.
Tarqell:
Solid.
[
raises right hand in form of fist in triumph]
David Durango:
[
after being chased by The Great Fear and jumping over the junkyard fence and landing on the cement] Oh shiit!
Singleton:
[
sees the Sandlot kids] Hey look guys, it's the Sandlot retards!
Little League Coach:
Singleton that's enough, son, let's get back to practice.
Singleton:
Yeah, in a second, coach.
Little League Coach:
But you said that last time! Then we all stood around while you cussed out the ice cream man!
Mac McKing:
Wow! What's that? Up there that speck.
Saul:
[
Finger signs to Saul] It's not a UFO, meathead.
[
Looks at the speck]
Saul:
Wait - Is it?
Hayley Goodfairer:
It looks exactly like - Johnny, please. Please! Tell me you didn't send up my dad's rocket!
Johnnie Smalls:
It was an accident. I swear!
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