Minotaur (2006/I)

User Rating:

3.3/10   

Director:

Jonathan English

Writers:

Nick Green (writer)
Stephen McDool (writer)

Release Date:

11 May 2006 (Russia)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

Curse the god. Slay the beast.

Plot:

Long ago in the Iron Age a shadow loomed over a lonely village. For generations the village youths are...

Plot Keywords:

Minotaur | Bull | Queen | Empire | Charging Bull

Cast

Tom Hardy	...	Theo
Michelle Van Der Water	...	Raphaella
Tony Todd	...	Deucalion
Lex Shrapnel	...	Tyro
Jonathan Readwin	...	Danu
Rutger Hauer	...	Cyrnan
Maimie McCoy	...	Morna
Lucy Brown	...	Didi
James Bradshaw	...	Ziko
Fiona Maclaine	...	Vena
Claire Murphy	...	Nan
Ingrid Pitt	...	The Leper
Ciaran Murtagh	...	Turag
Angela Furtado	...	Raphaella's Handmaiden
Donata Janietz	...	Ffion

Also Known As:

Minotauro (Italy)

MPAA:

Rated R for violence and some nudity.

Runtime:

USA:93 min

Country:

UK | Luxembourg | Germany | France | Spain | Italy | USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

USA:R | Netherlands:16 | Italy:VM14 | Finland:K-15 | UK:15 | Malaysia:U | South Korea:15 | Singapore:M18

Filming Locations:

Carousel Picture Company, Luxembourg, Luxembourg

Company:

First Look International

Goofs:

Crew or equipment visible: In many scenes, especially the scene where Tyro and Didi climb up the wall, there is clearly a steel-wire lifting the actors up, when they are supposed to be climbing by themselves.

Quotes:

Deucalion: My God is ready for his meat! Let us see the mouth of hell. Open the gates!
[goes towards the two virgins]
Deucalion: Do not be afraid, you spirits will lie warm in the belly of the bull, and your flesh will taste sweeter, now that it's aroused.
[yelling down the hole]
Deucalion: Come, POWERFUL ONE! Come SEE what I have brought you! COME TASTE!

Don't be fooled, it's JAPMTVM...

Just Another Poorly Made TV Movie.

A combination of poor script, minimal SFX, and wild over-acting by Todd and company make this a pretty sad take on the well-known myth. Corn syrup blood spews and there's a lot of noise. That's about it.

I did derive a bit of pleasure from trying to sort out all the different influences on Todd's portrayal of the "psycho" potentate. It's Frank Booth ("Blue Velvet") meets Thulsa Doom ("Conan the Barbarian"), with a bit of Jabba the Hutt thrown in for good measure. Until you've seen someone taking a "hit" off a cattle skull, you haven't seen good cinema.

There's some vague hope that things will pick up, until the victims are tossed into the labyrinth. From that point forward, it's a complete waste of time...typical monster-in-a-cave fare. You could probably make a drinking game out of it, though...everyone slams a shot whenever a foam rubber rock moves.

Save your time and rent "Jason and the Golden Fleece" or some other film that is at least a little entertaining.