Hell Ride (2008)

User Rating:

5.3/10   

Director:

Larry Bishop

Writer (WGA):

Larry Bishop (written by)

Release Date:

17 January 2009 (Japan)

Genre:

Action | Adventure | Drama | Thriller

Tagline:

The rebellion against all there is

Plot:

The story deals with the characters Pistolero, the Gent and Comanche and the deadly, unfinished business among them. |

Plot Keywords:

Pistolero | Actor Director | Exploitation | Gasoline | Obscene Finger Gesture

Cast

Larry Bishop	...	Pistolero
Michael Madsen	...	The Gent
Eric Balfour	...	Comanche / Bix
Vinnie Jones	...	Billy Wings
Leonor Varela	...	Nada
Michael Beach	...	Goody Two-Shoes
Laura Cayouette	...	Dani
Julia Jones	...	Cherokee Kisum
Francesco Quinn	...	Machete
Cassandra Hepburn	...	Maria
David Grieco	...	Dr. Cement
Dean Delray	...	Apeshit
Michael Macecsko	...	Shyster (as Mike Macecsko)
Tracy Phillips	...	Yvonne
David Carradine	...	The Deuce

MPAA:

Rated R for strong violence, sexual content including graphic nudity and dialogue, language and drug use.

Runtime:

84 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Black and White (some sequences) | Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

USA:R | Finland:K-18 | Japan:R-15 | Australia:R | Netherlands:16 | New Zealand:R18

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Dimension Films

Trivia:

Quentin Tarantino turned down the role of Comanche so that he could act as Ringo in Takashi Miike's Sukiyaki Western Django (2007).

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: Pistolero's rubber knife bends when he wipes it on Billy Wings's vest.

Movie Connections:

References Devil's Angels (1967)

A glitzy, slick, 80 minute music video cash-in on Grindhouse that captures none of the grindhouse spirit

Because that's what Hell Ride pretty much is. Larry Bishop and Tarantino partying on the Weinstein's money with the promise to deliver a movie somewhere in the process. I'm all for fake boobage and booze as much as the next guy but did we really need the movie? Really there's nothing worse than the reheated, second-hand leftovers of an old trend. And I'm not even talking about 70's grindhouse cinema because Hell Ride has none of the raw and unpolished feel of that era. No, this is slick and glossy MTV Hollywood through and through. The old trend I'm talking about is the self-consciously quirky cinematic world where Tarantino meets Guy Ritchie and Robert Rodriguez. All three guys were at least talented and found success for a reason. Hell Ride is just a second-hand copy, fickle and uninspired, polished to the max when it should be raw, the "supercool" aspect coming off forced and silly.

There's no reason for example why such a simple and utterly inane story has to be told in convoluted, back-and-forth in time fashion. It's just a post-Tarantino quirk. There's also no reason why the dialogues have to be so mind-numbingly pointless, people flapping their gums while saying NOTHING: at least when Travolta was talking about cheeseburgers in Pulp Fiction it was amusing and above all fresh. Here dialogues amount to little more than pseudo-macho posturing. There's also no reason why a grating rock'n'roll guitar has to twangle aimlessly over the entire movie.

Perhaps the lowest this movie hits is when it tries to be quasi-existential. There's a hilarious dream/illusion scene in the desert where Bishop eats peyote and sees colours. I was half-expecting an old Indian to come out and offer nuggets of wisdom.

The only saving grace of this abysmal turd is the boobage and Vinnie Jones' monologue about his wings tattooes (and maybe some of the desert exterior shots). Lots of boobage and hot, scantily clad babes. Now that's something I can get behind but a movie they don't make. Everything else is just an empty shell, an imitation of other, infinitely more talented, imitators.