The Helix... Loaded (2005)

User Rating:

1.6/10   

Director:

A. Raven Cruz

Writer:

A. Raven Cruz (written by)

Genre:

Action | Adventure | Comedy | Fantasy | Sci-Fi

Tagline:

It's the question that fuels you...What is The Helix?

Plot:

When "The One" dies, Orpheum must find the "Other One."

Plot Keywords:

Matrix | The Matrix | Kung Fu | Spoof | Cyberpunk

Cast

Scott Levy	...	Nuvo
Vanilla Ice	...	Theo
Geremy Dingle	...	Agent Smak / Harold the Bum
Samantha Brooke	...	Infiniti
Dana Woods	...	Orpheum
Dane Moreton	...	Chad
Brigett Fink	...	Swatch
Eugene Kim	...	Ping
Moe Irvin	...	Tyrone
Christine Carlo	...	Dijonaise
Delia Copold	...	Agent Crack
Anthony Aniano	...	Agent Jonzen
Cylk Cozart	...	The Orafice
Jennifer Sky	...	Lola the Secretary
Joel South	...	Mr. Champion / Willy Twin

MPAA:

Rated R for sexuality/nudity, language, drug references and humor.

Runtime:

USA:97 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Stained Iris Productions

Trivia:

The first independently financed, produced and distributed film to ever premiere at the world-famous Graumans Chinese Theater.

Quotes:

Nuvo: I'm definitely ready to be enlightened.

Movie Connections:

Spoofs Fight Club (1999)

Worst spoof ever made.

I loved the Matrix films and love good spoofs (AIRPLAINE, BLAZING SADDLES, SCARY MOVIE, etc.), but this movie was a huge disappointment. I saw it in an empty theater and fell asleep 3 times. The director seems to have never seen a good spoof in his life. I just mimics every scene from the MATRIX without adding anything original, much less, funny. The actors are so stiff and have such bad timing, it is like watching a high school improv class. The movie looks like it was shot on a handicam, but it has some relatively professional digital effects. However, a pretty bow and some wrapping paper can't make this stink bomb funny.