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The Onion Movie (2008) -- Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior.
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Overview

User Rating:
6.3/10   6,920 votes
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Directors:
Tom Kuntz
Mike Maguire
Writers (WGA):
Todd Hanson (written by) &
Robert D. Siegel (written by)
Contact:
View company contact information for The Onion Movie on IMDbPro.
Release Date:
7 January 2008 (Brazil) more
Genre:
Comedy more
Tagline:
America's finest news source.
Plot:
Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior. full summary | add synopsis
User Comments:
you ain't got the balls... more (54 total)

Cast

  (in credits order)
Daniel Chacón ... Young American / Cock Puncher

Ken Takemoto ... Sensei

Steven Seagal ... Cock Puncher

Don McManus ... Dennis McCormick

Kate Fuglei ... Dolores McCormick

Abigail Mavity ... Roseanne McCormick
Reid Weaver ... Dennis McCormick, Jr.

Brian Powell ... Typical Neighbor Husband

Adele Robbins ... Typical Neighbor Wife
Jason L. Miller ... Sooty Firefighter
Brendon Baerg ... Sooty Child

Len Cariou ... Norm Archer

Larissa Laskin ... Dana Dobbs

Scott Klace ... Kip Kendall

Barbara Pilavin ... Alzheimers Old Lady
Sandy Kenyon ... Alzheimers Guys in Crowd
Sam Menning ... Alzheimers Guys in Crowd
Orlando Seale ... Producer
Erik Stolhanske ... Producer

Sarah McElligott ... Melissa Cherry
Michael Bolton ... Himself
Karl Montgomery ... African Child (as Karl Montgomery Jr.)

Kwame Boateng ... Dibo
Steven Kozlowski ... White Trash Dude
Randy Oglesby ... Surgeon General
Archie Howard ... Fat Man
Howard Shur ... Smoker
Todd Hanson ... Smoker Driver
Arthur Kendall ... Bud Schwartz
Ira Gewant ... Brunno Tucci
Christopher Weeks ... Rolly Ingersoll
Edward Ansara ... Skink Bradley

Murray Gershenz ... Raggles Wimpole

Paul 'Mousie' Garner ... Uncle Smackers (as Mousie Garner)
Helen Geller ... Mavis De Haven

Richard Fancy ... Kenneth Garber
Murphy Dunne ... Raymond Marcus
Alex Solowitz ... The Masses

Savannah Haske ... Rapist Lisa
Griffin M. Creech ... Rapist Policeman

Daniel Dae Kim ... Ivy Leaguer

Stefan Sacks ... Rapist Uncle

Rebecca Lowman ... Rape Victim Julie

Amy Davies ... Rape Game Woman

John Gibson Miller ... Steel Beam Construction Guy

Jim Gleason ... Steel Beam Architect
Ben Braat ... Dutch Dad

Sal Lopez ... Peruvian

Jay Montalvo ... Peruvian

Bashar Rahal ... Arab Terrorist

Russell Steinberg ... Young Terrorist

Ahmed Ahmed ... Ahmed

Amir Talai ... Ahman
Ryan Bosch ... White Black Guy Bill
Leslie Duke ... White Black Guy Jenny

Brendan Fletcher ... White Black Guy Tim

Michael Brainard ... White Black Guy Policeman

Dane Farwell ... White Black Guy Policeman

Mary Boucher ... White Black Guy Judge
Chris Karwowski ... White Black Guy Jury Foreman
Michael Harte ... Pentagon General

Charles Howerton ... Pentagon General

James Kayten ... Pentagon Officer
Sean Conroy ... Landmine Salesman
Christopher Boyer ... Landmine Boss

S.E. Perry ... Recruitment Officer

Michael Harney ... Line-Up Detective (as Michael J. Harney)
Alonzo Bodden ... Prisoner

Gill Gayle ... Prisoner
Robert Shampain ... Prisoner Dad

Jordan Lindsay Hamm ... Girl Greeting Prisoner

Tom Wright ... Kwame Roberts
Gedde Watanabe ... James Nakatami
Troy L. Collins ... Dashante Jackson
Daniel Colembie ... McSorley's Bartender

Marc Antonio Pritchett ... Upstanding Black Man
Jerry Giles ... Dave Kostman

John Viener ... Peen Out Guy
Mike Loew ... Library Penis Man

David Chisum ... Penis Pal Glen
Martin Morales ... Penis Ethnic Man

Micah Sauers ... Skooter Boy
Michael R. Dowell ... Penis Businessman

Ken Narasaki ... Businessman

Clint Culp ... Bates Computer Customer

Paul Scheer ... Bates Computer Salesman Dirk
Maria Schneider ... Bates Computer Customer's Wife

Dustin Seavey ... Bates Temp Dude
Bill Dearth ... Bates Businessman
Zia Harris ... Bates Delivery Man (as Z.C. Harris)

James M. Connor ... Bates Manager (as James Michael Connor)
Michael Delaney ... Gil Bates

Nick Chinlund ... Bryce Brand

Jim Rash ... Bryce's Manager
Angel Cassidy ... Porn Star

Mia Crowe ... Porn Star
Gauge ... Porn Star
Kirk Ward ... Brendan Laroux

Eric Siegel ... Studio Executive
Jen Cohn ... Cooking Show Host

Meredith Baxter ... Cooking Show Chef
Charley Beil ... Wizards Gamer (as Charles Beil)

Dan Benson ... Wizard Gamer
Adam Crosby ... Wizard Gamer

Jed Rees ... Wizard Proteus

Greg Pitts ... Wizards Dragonmaster

Greg Cipes ... Hippie Diplomant

William Duffy ... Man in Suit
Cory McAbee ... Man in Suit

Yevgeni Lazarev ... Slovesevic (as Eugene Lazarev)

Adam Gregor ... Birajko

Terrence Flack ... Bank Gunman
Mo ... Second Bank Gunman (as Mõ)
Sarah DeVincentis ... Bank Customer
Michelle Buffone ... Bank Liz Anne (as Michele Buffone)

Jim Ortlieb ... Bank Mr. Poniewicz
Cory Nartatez ... Gay Guy

Savastian Padilla ... Gay Guy (as Savastion Padilla)
Bruce Stevenson ... Gay Guy

Chris Villa ... Gay Guy (as Christopher Villa)
Kenneth C. Rosier ... Presidential Advisor

Rodney Dangerfield ... Himself
Ivan Klipstein ... Subscription Card Man
Hanna Bluth ... Little Girl
Jennifer Saurenman ... Mother
Tanya Ballinger ... Cockpuncher Entourage
Kamela Forbes ... Cockpuncher Entourage
Neva Massey ... Cockpuncher Entourage
Eleanor Mercado ... Cockpuncher Entourage
Karen Miller ... Cockpuncher Entourage

Rachelle Wood ... Cockpuncher Entourage
André Costa ... Cameraman
Destiny Lightsy ... God Bless America Dancer
Michon Suyama ... God Bless America Dancer
Vai Au-Harehoe ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer (as Vaitiare Au-Harehoe)

Kato Bonner ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer

Allison Kyler ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
Brandy Lamkin ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer
Clifford McGee ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer (as Clifford McGhee)
Tomasina Parrott ... Melissa Cherry Video Dancer

Adrian Armas ... Lollipop Love Dancer
Kevin Federline ... Lollipop Love Dancer
Dante Harper ... Lollipop Love Dancer (as Danté Harper)

Robert Hoffman ... Lollipop Love Dancer (as Robert James Hoffman III)
Lucas Raynaud ... Lollipop Love Dancer
Dave Scott ... Lollipop Love Dancer

Harry Shum Jr. ... Lollipop Love Dancer
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Ahmed B. Badran ... Peruvian (uncredited)
Kathie Barnes ... Concerned Mother (uncredited)

Bo Barrett ... Wigger Jim (uncredited)

Jackson Bolt ... Texas Chainsaw Killer (uncredited)
Chris Cashman ... UPS Delivery Man (uncredited)
Martez Covington ... (uncredited)

Said Faraj ... Suicide bomber (uncredited)
Bill Frenzer ... Nicholas Van Essen (uncredited)

Justin Rodgers Hall ... Terrorist (uncredited)

Glen Hambly ... Attorney (uncredited)
Mohammed Hassan ... Terrorist (uncredited)
Hiro Koda ... (uncredited)
Eloise Lynch ... Britney Spears fan (uncredited)

Marshall Manesh ... Announcer (uncredited)

Joel McHale ... Office Worker (uncredited)

Chrissy Metz ... Heavy girl (uncredited)
Christopher Nissley ... Terrorist Training Video Announcer (uncredited)
Ryan O'Quinn ... Global Tetrahedron Penguin (voice) (uncredited)

Blaine Pate ... Office Worker (uncredited)

Paula Price ... Host a Rape Tape Gal (uncredited)

Tony Sagastizado I ... Taliban Terrorist (uncredited)

Helen Slayton-Hughes ... 'Yarn-it-All' Employee (uncredited)
Channing Swift ... Ice hockey fan (uncredited)
Tony Swift ... Ice hockey fan (uncredited)
Melissa Zanit ... Yearbook girl (uncredited)
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Directed by
Tom Kuntz  (as James Kleiner)
Mike Maguire  (as James Kleiner)
 
Writing credits
(WGA)
Todd Hanson (written by) &
Robert D. Siegel (written by) (as Robert Siegel)

Produced by
Kevin Halloran .... co-producer
David Miner .... producer
Gil Netter .... producer
Michael Rotenberg .... producer
David Zucker .... producer
 
Original Music by
Asche & Spencer 
 
Cinematography by
Maryse Alberti 
Neil Shapiro 
 
Film Editing by
Frederick Wardell 
 
Casting by
Justine Baddeley 
 
Production Design by
Jon Gary Steele 
 
Art Direction by
Kevin Kavanaugh 
 
Costume Design by
Casey Storm 
 
Makeup Department
Stephanie A. Fowler .... makeup artist
Robert Maverick .... special makeup effects artist
Debra Schrey .... key makeup artist
Laine Trzinski .... hair department head
 
Production Management
Brad Goodman .... post-production supervisor
Kevin Halloran .... production manager
Kimberly Rach .... production supervisor
 
Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
William Paul Clark .... first assistant director
 
Art Department
Todd Ellis .... property master
Tracy Gaydos .... art department coordinator
Allison Gross .... property assistant
Gary A. Krakoff .... construction coordinator
Kevin Loo .... art department assistant
Danny Ronay .... stand-by painter
Clint Schultz .... graphic designer
Tim Y. Wetzel .... assistant property master
 
Sound Department
Christopher Briles .... foley recordist
Michael Brown .... foley artist
Jesse Green .... sound
Jason Johnston .... second boom operator
David Obermeyer .... sound mixer
John Rotondi .... chief engineer
Clancy T. Troutman .... supervising sound editor
David John West .... sound re-recording mixer
Scott Westley .... sound designer
Ronald L. Wright .... boom operator
 
Special Effects by
Mark R. Byers .... special effects supervisor
 
Visual Effects by
Kent Johnson .... visual effects supervisor
Frank Lawas .... visual effects I/O supervisor
Jerry P. Magana .... visual effects producer
Curt Miller .... digital supervisor
 
Stunts
Keith Adams .... stunt coordinator
Randall Archer .... stunt rigger
Richard Burden .... stunt driver
Eddie J. Fernandez .... stunts
Justin Rodgers Hall .... stunts
Dennis Keiffer .... stunts
Hubie Kerns Jr. .... stunt driver
Henry Kingi Jr. .... stunts
Hiro Koda .... action wire coordinator
Hiro Koda .... stunts
Theo Kypri .... stunts
Dan Lemieux .... stunts
Rob Mars .... stunts
Jeff Podgurski .... stunt double: Steven Seagal
Matthew Rugetti .... utility stunts
Spencer Sano .... stunt performer
Steve Upton .... rigging coordinator
Xuyen Valdivia .... stunts (as Xuyen 'Sam' Valdivia)
David Wald .... stunts
Thom Williams .... utility stunts
Marcus Young .... stunts
 
Camera and Electrical Department
Henry Cline .... camera operator
Kia Dawson .... camera loader
Brian Evans .... assistant chief lighting technician
Ben Kaller .... still photographer
Len Levine .... gaffer
Jeffrey S. Lorenz .... first assistant camera
Gary Lowrance .... electrician
Michael Lowrance .... electrician
Tony Olivieri .... first assistant camera
William Robinson .... assistant camera
Brent Studler .... electrician
 
Casting Department
Michael Hothorn .... casting executive
Kelly Hunt .... extras casting (uncredited)
 
Costume and Wardrobe Department
Stacy Horn .... costume supervisor
Jee Ok .... set costumer
Jennifer Parker .... costumer
 
Editorial Department
Steve Barnett .... post-production consultant
David Bilow .... apprentice editor
Ted Brady .... final colorist
Marisa Clayton .... post-production coordinator: Modern VideoFilm
Jesus De Santiago .... post-production assistant
Eric Osmond .... first assistant editor
Michael Struk .... additional assistant editor
JoAnne Yarrow .... editorial production assistant
 
Music Department
Michael Dittrick .... music editor
 
Transportation Department
Bruce Comtois .... driver: cast
Erik Coutts .... driver: production van
Geno Hart .... transportation coordinator
Kirk Huston .... transportation captain
Hugh Kelly .... transportation
Steve Larson .... driver
Hardy Ophuls .... picture car coordinator
Julie Sanders .... transportation dispatcher
 
Other crew
Emily Aaronson .... set production assistant
Maxine Bergen .... additional script supervisor
Erik Bright .... unit publicist
Briana Burke .... location manager
Kyle Cookmeyer .... production assistant
Ted M. Davila .... first accounting assistant
Jesus De Santiago .... production assistant
Richard DiPatri .... assistant location manager
Karen Golden .... script supervisor
Doris Hellmann .... production accountant
Kelly Kiernan .... production executive
Kris Lahd .... assistant to producer
Heather Long .... animal coordinator
Brian McMillan .... animal supplier
Cheryl Miller .... production coordinator
Daniel A. Mondschain .... additional production coordinator
R. Scott Poole .... location scout
David E. Van Houten .... publicist
Craig Vegas .... production assistant
 
Thanks
Jesse Jam Miranda .... very special thanks
 

Production CompaniesDistributorsSpecial EffectsOther Companies
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Additional Details

Also Known As:
News Movie (UK) (DVD title)
Onion Movie (USA) (working title)
The Untitled Onion Movie (USA) (working title)
Untitled Onion Sketch Comedy Project (USA) (working title)
more
Runtime:
80 min
Country:
USA
Language:
English | Russian
Color:
Color

Fun Stuff

Trivia:
Originally filmed in late 2003, this was subsequently shelved for many years and never released theatrically (allegedly after poor test screening). Finally released directly to DVD in June 2008. more
Goofs:
Continuity: Liz Anne has a cut on the left side of her forehead which disappears when Armed gunman is promoted to customer advisor. more
Quotes:
Norm Archer: The internet went down for three hours this morning, plunging the nation into productivity. The outage, which caused major work startages from New York to California, prevented an estimated 120 million American employees from messing around on the web at work. more
Movie Connections:
References Network (1976) more

FAQ

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.
55 out of 86 people found the following comment useful.
you ain't got the balls..., 30 May 2008
10/10
Author: video_game_lover_122 from United States

the onion movie. 90 minutes of pure news based on satire, and fake news. how is 90 minutes used to keep you focused and entertained? very cleverly, and that is what the onion movie did. What this movie does that makes it so great, it sticks to what it says it's going to do; It keeps you entertained and to be laughed at, including pushing the rating(which if you get the unrated, it's better), but it has all of your typical humor about blacks, Irish, nerds, sex, etc. but not overly used, which a lot of comedies use as a crutch. As this movie progresses you will eventually see a preview of the "infamous" Steven segall, as "cockpuncher" which is used through out the movie. it's cheesy, and funny without being over the top. The news is actually something to take into an effect as something that could be used today. that is fake news at it's peak. this movie is what it says it is going to be. so when/if you get a chance, rent this movie, sit back, laugh your face off, and enjoy 90 minutes of pure unadulterated humor. 5/5-go pick up this movie.. or at least rent it.

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