BloodRayne (2005)

User Rating:

2.6/10   

Director:

Uwe Boll

Writer (WGA):

Guinevere Turner (written by)

Release Date:

6 January 2006 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Comedy | Fantasy

Tagline:

Revenge never tasted so sweet.

Plot:

In the Eighteenth Century, Rayne is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a carnival's freak-show in Romania...

Plot Keywords:

Vampire | Romania | Half Human | Vampire Hunter | Blood

Awards:

6 nominations

Cast

Kristanna Loken	...	Rayne
Michael Madsen	...	Vladimir
Matthew Davis	...	Sebastian (as Matt Davis)
Will Sanderson	...	Domastir
Geraldine Chaplin	...	Fortune Teller
Udo Kier	...	Regal Monk
Meat Loaf	...	Leonid (as Meatloaf Aday)
Michael Paré	...	Iancu
Billy Zane	...	Elrich
Michelle Rodriguez	...	Katarin
Ben Kingsley	...	Kagan
Darren Shahlavi	...	Priest
Esteban Cueto	...	Rok
Madalina Constantin	...	Amanda
Daniela Nane	...	Rayne's Mother

MPAA:

Rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity.

Runtime:

95 min | Philippines:92 min (cut)

Country:

USA | Germany

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital | SDDS | DTS

Certification:

USA:R (certificate #41938) | Philippines:R-13 (MTRCB) | Australia:R | Canada:13+ (Quebec) | Canada:18A (Alberta/British Columbia/Manitoba/Ontario) | Hungary:18 | Singapore:R21 (cut) | Finland:K-18 | Germany:18 (SPIO/JK) | New Zealand:R16 | Netherlands:16 | Malaysia:18SG (DVD) | Argentina:16 | UK:18 | South Korea:18 | USA:Unrated

Filming Locations:

Bran Castle, Bran, Brasov, Romania

Company:

Boll Kino Beteiligungs GmbH & Co. KG

Trivia:

Jessica Alba was originally scheduled to play Katarin, but passed on it because it was too brutal.

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: All of the weaponry is blunt and has "rounded points". This is especially noticeable when BloodRayne picks up her two hand scythes for the first time and the close-up reveals that they are about as useful as a butter knife.

Quotes:

Rayne: I thought they would be afraid of me.
Katarin: They only fear what they do not know.

Movie Connections:

Featured in "The Rotten Tomatoes Show: Echelon Conspiracy/Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li/Crossing Over (#1.1)" (2009)

A Must See!!!

Just kidding...just kidding!! Why, after wasting nearly 2 hours of my life watching this trash, should I waste another hour or so dissing this movie, when everything about it has already been killed stone dead by previous reviewers? Because, dear friends, I am so excited I just had to share with you my delight at finding the "worst cameo of all time", so magnificent in its awfulness that it could (with sheer effort of will) only be equalled, but never beaten.

It was Sunday. Raining. What the hell, "Bloodrayne" sounded good. Hmmm, Masden, Kingsley, Zane...can't be so bad.

After around 20 minutes or so of this "crowning turd" of a movie my "intellectual defence mechanism" automatically kicked-in and took my mind away to my next vacation, what to have for dinner, and the contents of my Partner's trousers. Sailing away on a sea of serenity(did I actually fall asleep?)I thought myself immune and totally protected from the train wreck of a movie unfolding on the other side of my eyelids. But then....wait! What's this? Snippets of dialogue totally unconnected with the Tequilla Sunrise I was drinking began to pervade my mind. Slowly at first, but growing in intensity. Warily, fearful that I may inadvertently catch another glimpse of Ben Kingsley's excruciating acting/staring, I opened one eye. Was I seeing/hearing things? I pulled myself up in the chair and opened the other eye (after assuring myself that Kingsley was nowhere to be seen). There, in front of me...what can never be described by a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years. The root canal work of movie making, the Xanadu of awfulness....Meatloaf trying to character-act.

I checked out the other movie-goers...hmmm, not many left....and they were all, very much like myself, staring wide eyed and open mouthed at witnessing the birth of a legend. Seriously, it was like watching the first moon landing all over again. This is one piece of crap for man...a whole turd for mankind.

I am sorry that I go on a little, but I cannot find words to describe the cameo piece by Meatloaf, in fact probably such words do not exist - they must be invented - "discrapungent" - try that one. I can only try to capture the magnificent awfulness by describing the effect that it had on myself and, I suspect, the other viewers.

If you haven't seen it (and I beg you all to do so) cut along to any cinema brave enough to show it and set your alarm clock for around 50 minutes. If you have trouble sleeping at the beginning, don't worry, Ben Kingsley will stare you into blessed catatonia....trust me.