[
from trailer]
Kevin Kingston:
[
from trailer]
[
in the car]
Kevin Kingston:
I have to go to the bathroom.
Lindsey Kingston:
I'm sure the carpet's absorbent.
Nick Persons:
[
on a horse next to a moving train] I'm gonna have to hop on!
Kevin Kingston:
I don't think that's a good idea!
Nick Persons:
Says who?
Kevin Kingston:
Says the guy who put all that junk on the road!
Nick Persons:
Oh snap!
Lindsey Kingston:
[
about 50 cent] I'll give him a dollar to shut up.
Ernst:
Ernst to the rescue! Do-do-do-do-de-do!
Nick Persons:
Come on, you're driving like a old lady.
Ernst:
No, no, you watch. Ernst knows how to drive.
Nick Persons:
Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston:
Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons:
Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car!
Lindsey Kingston:
That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.
Nick Persons:
[
about the music Lindsey wants to listen to] If you listened to this stuff in my neighborhood, you'd get shot.
Lindsey Kingston:
We don't live in the ghetto.
[
Nick's car is burning up]
Nick Persons:
Oh man! I never even got to read the manual!
Amish Man:
[
sees Nick making a big fuss over his SUV being wrecked]
[
to fishing partner]
Amish Man:
This is why we never come to the city.
Nick Persons:
[
wanting new tires] Look, I'll pay you extra. See? Yao Ming! Rookie card.
Car Mechanic:
Oh, I see. You think because I am Chinese that you can get me to do anythi - OOOO! Hologram!
Nick Persons:
Kiss my 330 cubic inches of V8 power, sucker!
[
last lines]
Satchel Paige:
I love a happy ending! Hahaha!
Lindsey Kingston:
[
talking about Keven] He played lady pac-man and had nightmares for a week.
[
a pair of young shoplifters enter the store, one of them walks up to the counter where Nick awaits]
Shoplifter:
Hey, Mister, you got any 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'?
Nick Persons:
What you think?
Shoplifter:
You got any Dragonball GT?
Nick Persons:
[
furiously] Look. You come in here every day, askin' the same questions. We ain't got no Pokemon, no Digimon, no Buffy, no SpongeBob, no Beanie Babies...
[
sees the other shoplifter trying to take a rare baseball card]
Nick Persons:
And no shoplifters!
[
he chucks a football at the shoplifter, who drops the card, then leaves with his partner]
Nick Persons:
Now, get! BOTH OF Y'ALL! GET!'!'!
Related Links
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