Bikini Bandits (2002) (V)

User Rating:

4.2/10   

Director:

Steve Grasse

Writers:

Peter Grasse (writer)
Steve Grasse (writer)
(more)

Release Date:

12 November 2002 (USA)

Genre:

Crime | Comedy

Plot:

The Bikini Bandits are sent to hell after their car goes off a cliff.

Plot Keywords:

Virgin Mary | Bikini | Satan | Pope | Time Travel

Cast

Maynard James Keenan	...	Satan
Dee Dee Ramone	...	The Pope
Jello Biafra	...	Evil Porn Director
Corey Feldman	...	Angel Gabriel / Himself
Gary the Retard
Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf	...	Mini Devil (as Hank the Angry Dwarf)
Peter Grasse	...	Retard / Amish Boy / Joseph
Larry McGearty	...	Dirty Larry
Bret Reilly	...	Retard / Various
Heather-Victoria Ray	...	Bandit
Heather McDonnell	...	Bandit
Betty San Luis	...	Bandit
Cynthia Diaz	...	Bandit
Robyn Bird	...	Virgin Mary
Clark O'Donnel	...	Officer Harry Nudzak (as Clark O'Donnell)
Mercedes DeMarko	...	QVC Hostess
Sam Heffelfinger	...	QVC Host
Jason Ross	...	Grim Reaper
Michelle McCarty	...	Amish Girl
Shannon Pezzetta	...	Various / Porn Clerk
Shane McGeady	...	Dirty Sanchez
Bob Bannon	...	Guard
Jeremy Hugo	...	Guard
Bobby Shame	...	Guard
Jay Medley	...	Guard
Billy Puddly	...	Guard
Nick Epps	...	Guard
Zenzele Cesare	...	Cop
Michael Miller	...	Cop
Theresa Jonies	...	Bikini Girl
Nicole Dunn	...	Bikini Girl
Marquita	...	Bikini Girl (as Marquita Roane)
Fulani Respicio	...	Bikini Girl
Geeta Dalal	...	Bikini Girl
Billie Jo Hewitt	...	Bikini Girl
Tanya Drayton	...	Bikini Girl
Brodie Budd	...	Bikini Girl
Maria Calinilina	...	Bikini Girl
Serena Perolli	...	Bikini Girl
Linda Nezu	...	Bikini Girl
Cynthia Rodriguez	...	Bikini Girl
Heather Phillips	...	Unicycle Girl
Don Juan	...	Gladiator
Jason Goldberg	...	Gladiator
Allan Lane	...	Shit Dude
Courtney Shea Alston	...	Peasant Girl
Jeffrey Wilkerson	...	Farmer Dude
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Feline Fabre		(as Felina)

Directed by
Steve Grasse

Writing credits (in alphabetical order)
Peter Grasse		writer
Steve Grasse		writer
Shymala Joshi		writer
Sonia Kurtz		writer

Produced by
Michelle Ashley	....	line producer
Steve Grasse	....	producer
Shymala Joshi	....	producer

Cinematography by
Rhet W. Bear		(as Rhet Bear)

Film Editing by
Gabe Imlay

Art Direction by
Seth Meisterman

Makeup Department
Pamela Cozen	....	makeup artist
Linda Fung	....	makeup designer
Mary Vanatis	....	makeup artist
Dina Weinstein	....	makeup artist

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Charles Washington Jr.	....	first assistant director

Art Department
Kate McCabe	....	assistant art director

Sound Department
Brian Jordan	....	boom operator

Camera and Electrical Department
Bernard X. Brongniart	....	best boy electric
Ian Campbell	....	director of photography: second unit
Michael Kleiman	....	first assistant camera
James 'Otis' Mayfield	....	assistant camera: second unit (as Jim Mayfield)
Michael M. Silver	....	gaffer

Editorial Department
Eric Hampton	....	additional editor
Michael Mees	....	additional editor

Other crew
Billy Arrowood	....	location manager

Distributors

• Revolver Entertainment (2003) (UK)

Also Known As:

Bikini Bandits Go to Hell (USA) (complete title)
The Bikini Bandits Experience (USA) (DVD title)

Runtime:

USA:60 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

100% Rubbish

This movie SOUNDS great. Not in any high minded, intellectual fashion, but just as some great cheese to down with your buddies. It has half naked women, guns, Dee Dee Ramone as the pope, Jello Biafara, Maynard as Satan, time travel, fast cars... it sounds brilliant, right?

It is not. This is, without a doubt, the worst film ever made. This is from a man who loved "Jesus Christ - Vampire Hunter". There's no plot, no point, and worst of all, no FUN. The closest thing to a running gag is the joke they pulled on you by getting this thing released. It's clear they had no idea what to do with the film; but they rightly guessed that if they got some cult celebrities together with a bunch of hot women, they could get it released regardless. To fill out the time they throw out a series of unconnected skits, woodenly acted and lacking any conceivable flow. Even the violence/sex this kind of movie falls back on to hide deeper troubles are strictly PG-13 (Baywatch is more graphic than anything here). The (very) few funny moments have nothing to do with the plot at all, but are quick inserts thrown in to pad a movie that had clearly failed even in the eyes of it's director.

The director clearly has an amazing talent; he sold this movie to some amazing guest stars, to whoever funded it, to whoever agreed to release it...but he never had a movie to begin with. People show up on screen, do their bit, and move on presumably under the impression they were going to appear in a movie; but in the end it's just a parade of pointless clips, nothing more. Even having seen it, the pitch sounds good (underground rockers, time traveling bikini bandits, guns and cars, who can go wrong?)... but the movie isn't there. A talent for salesmanship makes you a great car dealer, not a great director.

In closing, Corey Feldman called this film the worst mistake of his life.

Corey. Feldman. Called it the worst mistake of his life.