Memorable quotes for
"Footballers' Wives" (2002)

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Jackie Pascoe: Going out with a page three model is one thing but getting married to one is embarrassing.

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Frank Laslett: I think you should be my agent, I'm the one who needs an image makeover.
Hazel Bailey: Sorry Frank, even if you gave both your kidneys to dying babies you'd still smell like a septic tank.

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Hazel Bailey: You're late.
Jason Turner: Yeah... traffic
Hazel Bailey: Car knocked over a cyclist outside Piccadilly tube, you, being a good Samaritan stopped and dialed 999... if you're going to make an excuse, spin it so you win it.

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Tanya Turner: Just when Chardonnay was beginning to think you might be a human bloody being!
Jason Turner: Chardonnay... thinking?
[Laughs]
Jason Turner: What, with her singed tits?

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Jason Turner: I hope your freakoid baby dies, Kyle!

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Tanya Turner: Just a friendly warning for the future, you go anywhere near my husband again and it'll take more than Botox to sort your face out!

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Jason Turner: All right Lara Croft?
Freddie Hauser: Oh, so you are still speaking to me after I drop kicked your testicles down the back of your throat?

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Amber Gates: You're more of a cat person are you not?
Hazel Bailey: I've always loved my pussy.

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Tanya Turner: I've decided there is only one man for me..."Charlie".
Hazel Bailey: Come on love, let's be fair to dicks, they're great bits of tackle.
Tanya Turner: It's what's on the end of them that's the problem.
Hazel Bailey: I know that's why I keep mine in my handbag.

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Amber Gates: I can't believe she's having a Caesarean now, she knows I'm in labor
Janette Dunkley: Her little one's in distress
Amber Gates: So would you be if you were her baby.

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