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Absolon (2001) More at IMDbPro »

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18 out of 23 people found the following comment useful :-
One of the most unintentionally hilarious movies ever., 23 February 2005

Author: Scott Strandberg (SkdRow8@yahoo.com) from Oklahoma

As far as direct-to-video sci-fi, it hardly gets worse than Absolon, and that's saying a whole lot. As with about 97.9% of the people who have seen this movie, I rented it because Christopher Lambert was in it. This movie was bad even by Christopher Lambert direct-to-video standards. The plot is a ludicrous story of viruses and big business in the "future". This future doesn't look very futuristic, but this is explained away in the prologue by telling the viewer that because so many people died in a plague, the world's population has enough goods to last another 100 years. I guess that's why everyone drives 2001 Tauruses and Explorers then, not budget constraints, right? Lambert comes out OK here, as he once again rises above his awful material to give what is at the very least an acceptable performance. Other than that, watch out. Lou Diamond Phillips hams it up like never before, and even Ron Perlman is stunningly awful in his small role (I guarantee he wasn't on set for more than a day or two, as his character never leaves his desk, and about halfway through the movie he stops interacting in person with the other characters, instead using video conferencing). Additionally, I'm pretty sure that in this future, anyone can be a cop, because one of Lambert's fellow cops looks like she is about 10 minutes removed from a Ramones show (with dark red streaks in her jet-black hair) and another appears to be wearing some sort of Indiana Jones Halloween costume (fedora included). Kelly Brook is gorgeous as Lambert's love interest, although her acting talent is limited as is her willingness to do nude scenes apparently. I've never felt so teased by a female character's lack of nudity in my life.

The direction is awful, I'm sure half of the people that read this, if not more, could make a better movie. Barto uses some of the most ridiculous editing techniques I've ever seen, including an incredibly obnoxious fast-forward/slo-mo combination that hurts my eyes every time it comes on screen. Even worse than the direction is the music. It's one thing to have the John Carpenter-esquire simplistic synth score, it's quite another to try to make it sound complex. The score was obviously recorded entirely on a synthesizer on "Strings" setting to emulate an orchestra, and the effect is hilarious, giving every second of music in the film a Casio Keyboard quality. This is not the only problem with the sound, however, as I swear there was one point in a chase sequence when Brook moved her mouth as if speaking and no speech accompanied it.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen, and maybe THE worst, but I'm giving it 3/10 because it is unintentionally funny to the point of actually being watchable all the way through, if only to wait for the next misstep.

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21 out of 29 people found the following comment useful :-
Predictably Dreadful, 27 August 2003

Author: NIXFLIX-DOT-COM from www.nixflix.com

The biggest mystery about ABSOLON is how the filmmakers managed to get 33 people to register and then give the film a perfect "10" score. It's ridiculous, of course, and I'm willing to bet even star Christopher Lambert would agree.

ABSOLON is yet another low-budget film with minimal resources, and yet it seems unaware of this fact since the movie is set "sometime in the near future". I.e. Things are just similar enough that the filmmakers can get by, but there are differences such as a VR and an artificial intelligence computer that lets us know it's "the future". Of course the VR only shows up in the first 3 minutes, and the artificial intelligence computer is basically a woman talking through a speaker.

ABSOLON is not an awful movie, but it is a bad movie. It's basically a string of cliches and "Evil Corporation" formulas thrown into scenes of Lambert dodging assassins led by a cheesy Lou Diamond Phillips, now trying to make himself the King of Low-Budget Cheesy Villains.

Skip this film.

3 out of 10.

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13 out of 16 people found the following comment useful :-
Good low budget film., 20 May 2003

Author: multiplesmiths from Miami, USA

You don´t have to ask too much from a low budget movie like this. It is what it is, as the oracle would say, and there are some interesting and funny moments on it. The script is not great, that´s true but i liked the directing and most of the cast. What was the budget in this flick? 3, 4 million... not enough for this kind of story with gunfire, carchases... The first half of the movie works, then... well the script is not that great.The director was an storyborad artist and a designer before -I saw Sussus, his animated short film,and I loved it- like many other filmmakers like James Cameron... and I´m not saying this guy could be him but anybody out there remembers Piranha 2? I like to see what this director can do with a bigger budget and a better script. And seriously, it does not matter if the director is british, chinese of spanish... the script is the script. I didn´t like the soundtrack too much but it wasn´t that bad. Ron perlman is brilliant and Kelly Brook, gorgeous. Lou Diamond Phillips is very funny. I like it.

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10 out of 13 people found the following comment useful :-
too bad..., 3 November 2005

Author: buck62 from Canada

it's too bad the dialogue was so laughable because the subject matter is no "conspiracy theory from Pluto". i'd like to see what the director can do with a bigger budget on the same topic. i think we Need movies like this that tell it like it mostly and astonishingly is. with Christopher Lambert i sometimes have to shake my head to remember that he is classically trained. well, at least he's working. Lou Diamond Philips seldom takes himself too seriously and i liked him in this movie. and Kelly Brook! beautiful woman. Hellboy is a favorite of mine too and it's nice to see him with his real face. i suspect most people wont like this film, but i did. except for the dumb dialogue.

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10 out of 16 people found the following comment useful :-
SUCKS!, 4 September 2004
Author: Edward TJ Brown (edwardtjbrown@yahoo.com) from Minnesota

My University has an on campus shop that rents DVDs I rented this movie to watch over my Labor Day weekend because I love science fiction films and the storyline seemed interesting.

The writing is terrible, everyone seems to be speaking in a flat tone of voice that is good for public radio, but really bad for a science-fiction action film. At some points during the time the actors lips are moving, but no sound is coming out. The film does bring up some interesting themes -- AIDS virus, poverty, greedy big business -- but the horrible writing means that the film is less exciting then if they had all simply read instructions on how to install my DVD player in ten different language.

The acting is a mixed bag. I enjoyed Chris in the first Highlander film and in Mortal Kombat I. The black police chief, the second scientist to die and the semi-punk rock female partner [Ruth?} were three unknown actors that had talent, if only the script would let them show it off. Chris's female love interest has no acting talent whatsoever and should consider legal action against who promised to teach her how to act.

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4 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :-
passable if you don't expect too much - could have been good, 15 September 2007
Author: ptay1685 from Australia

I watched this movie mainly because of the actors that were in it, namely Lambert, Perlman, Philips. The plot is not entirely original (which ones are?) but interesting in detail and certainly good enough to support a good movie. Had the budget been bigger, this move could have been so much more. Fight sequences are the worst part - silly and unbelievable. If you removed most of them the movie would be much better. The cast are mostly good actors but the script and other aspects of the movie let them down - they mostly do the best they can with what they have been given. Lou Diamond Philips would have had more impact if he had toned down his performance - its too over the top. I tend to blame the script/director for this rather than the actor. He certainly has the looks and talent to play a great bad guy - but hes not great here. Of the three name actors he comes out worse. (If you want to see what he can really do Courage Under Fire.) Perlman does well in his rather limited role. Lambert is OK some of the time, but rather wooden the rest. Brook is great too look at and sort of OK but the script gives her no opportunity to stretch herself. I liked the actress who plays the Scotts partner - an interesting performance. She looks great too. I hope to see her more often (I resisted the temptation to say "see more of her" - it could be misconstrued). In many ways a bad movie but it has some unexpected good points that kept me watching despite the lows. One commenter on this forum says watching this movie is a waste of time. Perhaps, but then really watching any movie is strictly speaking a waste of time. This is especially so today, when hardly any modern movies have anything but laughable plots. There are many worse ways to waste your time than this movie.

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4 out of 6 people found the following comment useful :-
The need for currency..., 31 July 2006

Author: Frank Markland from United States

In the future, all money has been obliterated in exchange for a chronic medicine which treats (but doesn't cure) a universal plague that everyone suffers from. However when an actual cure for the plague is produced, the government wants to kill the scientist due to the shock it would have on the economy, Christopher Lambert, Lou Diamond Phillips and Ron Perlman are aboard to make this more watchable than it would be. Absolon is a straight to video movie (Obviously) which I watched on the Sci-Fi channel, for some reason I have an uncanny ability to seek out the STV movies independent from them and some how avoid their made for Sci-Fi movies, consider it luck I guess. However this being said Absolon is a competently made B.movie but it is also clichéd, unexciting and dreary. Lambert is actually not too shabby and there are moments when you suspect that the movie is going to open up and get really interesting but alas it never does. It always comes close to a boil but it loses steam due to an uninspired gunfight or something gratuitous to it's plot. Had Absolon concentrated on it's futuristic dwellings this would have been good, however because it lacks atmosphere the movie feels ordinary and by the numbers. Still fairly watchable in a low expectations kind of way.

* * out of 4-(Fair)

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5 out of 8 people found the following comment useful :-
Christopher Lambert is the sole cure for the world, 18 April 2003

Author: holtup from Miami, FL

I was very disappointed with this movie. I had read about it when it was in production in the mag Indie Wire and I was excited to see Christopher Lambert making a sort of comeback. But there will be no coming back from this one. The script is ridiculous, the dialogue is trite, the acting is amateur, and the directing is boring. This movie takes itself a little too seriously - the melodramatic music doesn't help. It was a big bummer.

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1 out of 1 people found the following comment useful :-
Hardly delivers., 19 October 2008

Author: Meuflex from Between Avignon and St Rémy, Provence, France, Europe

OK - seen this one this afternoon with my girlfriend. As usual, Brad Mirman delivers an interesting Cyberpunk-like script (even if some plot- holes are "intriguing" - to say the least), as usual, Christopher Lambert is the only one in the cast to be a little bit involved. The photo is okay too and the score has its moments (even if the "Absolon Theme" by Howie B. is almost without interest). Some good FX (very few in fact).

But for his directional debut, David Barto overused already outdated effects (slow/fast effects in the editing for example), made some serious continuity mistakes (the car chase in the 2/3 of the movie for example) and directed it like a poor TV-movie. That's it : Absolon is no more than a (very cheap at times) TV-film : the female cast is terrible - even if enjoyable to see, Lou Diamond Philips looks like he's not really enjoying his part (he needs a new agent) and overplays it, Ron Perlman plays it simply bored (i'm sure he was on the set one day only : he always stays at the same place). Some secondary characters are far more better (dialogues, characterization), that is counter-balancing a little bit but not enough to save the film from oblivion.

I'm very sorry to type this but some things are definitely missing here : a cast, a budget (twice would have been enough i think - how much it cost : no more than 5M$ i'd say), some more concerned "stars" (with the exception of Lambert), a good editor and finally a director with some idea and motivation.

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2 out of 3 people found the following comment useful :-
Half "Total Recall" and half "Highlander 2", 23 August 2003
Author: Carycomic from Torrington, CT, USA

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

*Potential spoilers* Both movies had environmental themes. And, each had twice the budget of this one. But, while Lambert is no Schwarzenegger, he certainly did a much more riveting job with his character, in this movie, than he did as Connor Macleod in HL2. Not that HL2 being a box office flop was his fault! I guess it's just because he plays an ordinary mortal in this one. An "Everyman" sort of cop, who suddenly realizes he has one last chance to bring a little more beauty into an ugly (near-future) world. Kelly Brook is equally excellent as the scientist who may, or may not, be working with the profiteering enemy. And, Ron Perlman does such a realistic job in portraying the fiendish profiteer in question, I have no doubt that he'll be equally convincing as the latest comic-book-hero-turned-movie-star.. ."Hellboy!" My final analysis? 3.4 stars

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