Memorable quotes for
40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) More at IMDbPro »

Matt: Have you ever noticed a crack in my ceiling?
Ryan: Dude, you're action packed with issues.

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Matt: Wait, wait. Don't go to sleep yet. We got to talk about something.
[pause]
Matt: Stickers. Do you like stickers?

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Erica: If I told you, "Don't think about the color red", what would you think about?
Matt: Sex.

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Nicole: Hey, Bagel Guy.
The Bagel Guy: You know my name?

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Matt: You stupid, stupid... silly little person.

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Matt: And two?
Ryan: And two, are you out of your goddamn mind? You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich, you think you can go 40 days? It goes against nature, it goes against science - you want to be the guy who goes against science? You're gonna piss off the seeds Matt!
Matt: Look, this doesn't affect you in any way!
Ryan: Oh, this affects everybody...

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Ryan: One - you can't do it. You just can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you, I'm just saying that no man can do it, it goes against nature. The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. You're gonna piss off the seeds Matt! It goes against science! You wanna be the guy who goes against science?
Matt: And two?
Ryan: And two, are you out of your fucking mind? You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich, you think you can go 40 days? Did your brother put you up to this?
Matt: No - in fact he's been about as supportive as you are. Look, this doesn't affect you in any way.
Ryan: Oh, this affects everybody...

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Matt: You gotta... You gotta light a candle or something.
John Sullivan: I'm not gonna light a candle so you can feel better about getting laid!

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Matt: Listen, isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
John Sullivan: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing - and stop calling it that - is not to have sex, remember?
Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex.
John Sullivan: Sure you did...
Matt: No, I didn't. I guess thinking about sex *is* part of the priestly thing - at least for some.
John Sullivan: Get out.
Matt: Fine.

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Ryan: 1 - you can't do it. You can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you, I'm just saying that no man can do it, it goes against nature? The male was biologically designed to spread his seed, Matt. You're gonna piss off the seeds man? It goes against science. You wanna be the guy who goes against science?

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[on why Matt has to tell Erica about his vow]
Ryan: Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. You can pass off two dates without a kiss as being old fashioned - you go three and you're a homo.

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[Ryan finds his porn stash that Matt hid in a basket]
Ryan: Do you know how many hours I spent looking for for my "Temple of Poon" tape. One. That is a long time to be looking for porn, Matt, what the fuck is going on.

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Susie: [after hearing Matt's obviously fake orgasmic moan] What the fuck was *that*? Did you come?
Matt: Uh... yeah.
Susie: No you didn't. You faked it.

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Ryan: Okay, I know you have some Nicole issues right now but...
Matt: I do not have any Nicole issues.
[Ryan picks up an old picture of Matt and Nicole]
Ryan: 'Hi, I'm one of the many pictures of Nicole that still infest Ryan and Matt's apartment after six months'. I mean she's hot Matt, I don't mind looking at her, all I'm saying is - you have issues.

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Duncan: Matt look at yourself, your life is shit.

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Bagel Guy: Yeah, fire in the hole.

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Jerry Anderson: I've jerked off three times since lunch and I've still got this fucking hard-on.
Mikey: Way to go, Mr. Anderson. Two more and you break the company record!

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Matt: I almost fucked an outlet today.

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Ryan: Do you like her?
Matt: Yeah.
Ryan: So why do you not wanna fuck her?

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Candy: [describing the typical sexuality of men] They're like animals; their whole lives revolve around their penises.

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Mandy: [Mandy describes to Matt the importance of women's power of abstinence] Women have been doing this since... the beginning. It's all part of the system. But you're taking the power and you're fucking with the system. Now, you realize that we can't let this happen, hmm?

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Ryan: This is a photocopy of Candy's ass? You're gonna call her, right?

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Duncan: She said I looked like Lionel Ritchie.
Neil: Well that's great!
Duncan: No it's not.

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Matt: Fuck yeah! Bitch.

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[in the toilet, Matt discovers that Jerry is in the next booth masturbating]
Matt: Jerry?
Jerry Anderson: Jerry is not here right now, can I take a message?

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Walter Sullivan: They're grown men they're old enough to know that their mother's machine is still running.

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