Mom Turner:
Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.
[
the holiday mascots are talking about what they do]
Cupid:
Well, I make kids fall in love.
Kids:
EW.
Cupid:
Point taken.
Wanda:
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cosmo:
But three rights make a left, and now it's time for the show!
Cosmo:
Not Vicky.
Wanda:
Icky with a V.
Wanda:
You made your dad cry.
Cosmo:
Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that.
Timmy Turner:
Hey guys, what's new?
[
Cosmo lights candles under water]
Wanda:
The laws of physics.
[
after being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy]
Wandisimo:
No. I am too sexy to eat.
Dad:
Egad.
Timmy Turner:
This is great! A world without girls. I can do whatever I want!
Timmy Turner:
[
farts] I'm free!
Cosmo:
[
Cosmo sniffs the air] Wow, freedom stinks.
Timmy Turner:
Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want.
Cosmo:
So can I, I'm just polite.
Cosmo:
I married the smart one.
Wanda:
I married the... well he's cute, right?
Cosmo:
If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.
Timmy Turner:
And this would be news to her *how*?
Timmy Turner:
Boring conversation. Can't focus.
[
Timmy throws a water balloon at Francis, which misses him and ends up hitting someone in France]
The French:
We surrender!
Wandisimo:
Can it be? Wanda the love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who I lost when he married you so you'd stay lost to me?
Cosmo:
[
because Wanda is dressed as a pancreas]
[
grinning]
Cosmo:
You can be removed?
Wanda:
Uh-oh... my "Cosmo is going to make Timmy dead" sense is tingling.
Chester's Dad:
[
crying] Without that tooth, you look just like your momma.
Norm the Genie:
[
about Canada]
[
darkly]
Norm the Genie:
They've had it too good for too long.
[
repeated line]
Denzel Crocker:
[
shouts] Fairly godparents!
Principal Waxelplax:
[
after Timmy has won the election and the kids have come back from getting food poisoning from cake] So, Timmy, what do you say to having all the responsibilities of president?
Timmy Turner:
Piece of cake!
[
all kids get sick and their faces turn green]
Mom Turner:
Timmy, you know how your dad gets around people who are on money.
Cosmo:
That's what got me on probation.
Trixie Tang:
You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.
Cosmo:
Now will you hold me?
Dad Turner:
Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
Wanda:
He thinks everything is funny. Watch.
[
turns to Cosmo]
Wanda:
Pudding.
Cosmo:
HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.
Timmy Turner:
May I *please* have my ball back?
Dr. Bender:
What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... NO! HAHAHA
Mayor:
I hate not being the goat.
Principal Waxelplax:
CROCKER!
Timmy Turner:
[
being embraced by Vicky] Urk... Oxygen... Darkness...
Wanda:
[
chasing Vicky through space] The force is strong with this one.
Cosmo:
Luke, I am your father. I always wanted to say that.
[
after going back in time]
Timmy:
Cool! We're in the Middle Ages!
Cosmo:
Look! I'm middle aged!
[
Poofs into a middle aged man]
Cosmo:
YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
Wanda:
Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other.
Timmy Turner:
What's the other?
Wanda, Cosmo:
Timmy!
Dad Turner:
[
Mr. Turner is being eaten by a dragon] It looks and feels like I'm getting real third degree burns! Ow! I mean, neat!
Vicky:
All right twerp, time for bed!
Timmy Turner:
But it's only six-o-four!
Vicky:
Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED!
[
one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock changes to six-o-five]
Cosmo:
Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!
Denzel Crocker:
[
Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!
[
ducks behind his desk]
Denzel Crocker:
HELP!
Denzel Crocker:
Curse this obsolete one month old technology!
Wanda:
Awwwww, Goat Love!
Cosmo:
They say it's the most honest love around.
Jorgen von Strangle:
What in the name of my bulging tripceps is going on?
Jorgen von Strangle:
For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy.
Wandisimo:
This I can live with.
[
Cosmo has gotten breast implants]
Cosmo:
I'm keeping them.
Timmy Turner:
Awesome- boys fighting over me!
Wanda:
[
Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library] Oh, Hillary! How did you put up with it?
Mom Turner:
You just need to be more secure in your masculinity - like me.
Cosmo:
I don't get it. If you're not married to her, why is she trying to kill you?
Chip Skylark:
[
about to faint] Tuesday's... apple sauce... day...
Timmy Turner:
Feel better now?
Chip Skylark:
Yeah. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.
Dad Turner:
Yay, I'm unemployed!
Dad Turner:
It's deserted and lonely, just like my childhood!
Nega-Chin:
Adam West's waistband!
Wanda:
Timmy, you can't have both brains and brawn. You have to pick just one.
Cosmo:
Or do what I did. Pick neither.
Timmy Turner:
It's fun and destructive. It's funstructive.
Dad Turner:
[
to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready] Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs are Dinkelburging!
Denzel Crocker:
Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!
Timmy Turner:
Wow, my mom as a kid.
Young Dad Turner:
Yeah... and she's got a beautiful name. It's...
[
a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young Dad]
Young Dad Turner:
...but everybody calls her Mom.
Cosmo:
Apparently, another thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.
[
Mr.Crocker gives Cosmo and Wanda coffee. The two of them start acting hyper and jump up and down]
Cosmo:
This coffee is great!
[
shouts]
Cosmo:
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Where do they get this stuff?
Denzel Crocker:
Columbia.
Wanda:
Oh! We should go there!
Chester McBadbat:
You replaced me with an actor with better teeth!
A.J.:
And more hair!
Sanjay:
And a well-oiled chest!
[
pause]
Sanjay:
What? Am I the only one who noticed?
Timmy Turner:
I'm huge, I hurt people, and I'm misunderstood!
Cosmo:
Just like the IRS!
Mom Turner:
Losing our son was the best thing to ever happen to us!
Dad Turner:
We have a son?
Cosmo:
[
after fairy world blows up] I regret nothing!
Cosmo:
What's wrong with being naked in public?
Jorgen von Strangle:
It's time for some fairy-oke!
Announcer:
[
to Timmy, who is dressed in costume] You might want to take off the maid outfit; it's pretty creepy.
Cosmo:
[
Cosmo as gelatin] Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.
[
angrily]
Dad Turner:
Oooh... Dinkelburgs!
Sanjay:
[
dazed look at Timmy, as if he was coming onto him] I'll see you in my next dream.
Timmy Turner:
Man, that was one tough montage.
Cosmo:
Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.
Cosmo:
The good news is I found my spleen!
Timmy Turner:
That's a rare steak.
Cosmo:
In that case, I'm taking it back. I ordered my spleen medium rare.
Wandisimo:
Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.
Cosmo:
Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!
Crimson Chin Action Figure:
There's trouble afoot - I mean, a-chin!
Vicky:
I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am.
Sanjay:
[
Timmy shows up to save everyone from Unwish Island] I'm having one of those dreams where Timmy saves me again!... Where's your white horse?
Denzel Crocker:
[
shows painting] And here's another painting... The Scream.
Timmy Turner:
Why is he screaming?
Denzel Crocker:
Because he was wrong! And he got an F!
[
unrolls bottom of painting to reveal a table next to the screaming person, with an F on it]
Denzel Crocker:
Like you!
[
sticks a paper marked F on Timmy's hair]
Timmy Turner:
I wish I could leave this room inconspicuously.
[
Cosmo turns his desk legs into rockets. Timmy blasts through the ceiling]
Timmy Turner:
Ahhhhhh!
Wanda:
[
to Cosmo] It means without being noticed.
Cosmo:
Well, if he wasn't screaming, he wouldn've been noticed.
Wanda:
Don't you think you should be looking for your mom, dad, friends Chester and AJ, and back-up friends Sanjay and Elmer?
Dad:
Good thing I landed on this nice, soft mom!
Timmy Turner:
[
reading the title of a book that Dad Turner has just handed him] The Stupid Dad's Guide For Teaching His Weak and Defenseless Son Kung Fu?
Cosmo:
[
to Timmy] What did New Zealand ever do to you?
Wanda:
[
to Timmy, who has wished that he lived at the circus] You can't stay a carny forever, Timmy.
Cosmo:
Yeah, you don't have the experience! You've never even been to prison.
Mom Turner:
[
Timmy is eating ceral like a dog] He sure is hungry.
Dad Turner:
No, no, that's just the way all kids eat cereal now; face first. I'm hip!
[
Starts to eat his cereal like Timmy]
Timmy Turner:
[
School bus arrives] School bus! School bus! Chase! Chase! Chase! Chase!
Dad Turner:
Wow, does Timmy love school or what?
[
Sticks face into cup of hot coffee]
Dad Turner:
Oww, hot! It doesn't work with hot!
Timmy Turner:
This may sound cliche, but you've gotta throw my severed head into the clearance bin!
Timmy Turner:
Note to self: Never break up with a girl in the Violent Gardening Tool section.
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