Titanic 2000 (1999) (V)

User Rating:

4.0/10   

Director:

John Paul Fedele

Writers:

Clancy Fitzsimmons (writer)
Joe Ned (writer)

Genre:

Comedy | Drama | Horror | Fantasy | Romance

Plot:

The luxury liner Titanic 2000 has set sail on its maiden voyage, and one of the passengers is the vampire Vladamina...

Plot Keywords:

Vampire | Sex | Titanic | Erotic | Sexploitation

Cast

Tammy Parks	...	Vladimina
Tina Krause	...	Shari O'Kari
Elizabeth Cintron	...	Molly Black
David Fine	...	Mr. Blatent
Bob MacKay	...	Chimes / Edmund
Jasi Cotton Lanier	...	Second Victim (as Rozanne Michaels)
Suzanne Lenore	...	1st Victim
Michael R. Thomas	...	Eegor / Captain Skimmer
Jacob Bogert	...	Mareem
Zachary Winston Snygg	...	Winslow (as Zachary Snygg)
Jeffrey Faoro	...	Mr. Smythe / Second Mate (as Jeff Faoro)
Joseph Prussak	...	Mr. Pidant (as Joe Prussak)
Peter O'Hara	...	Mr. Felon
Pete Jacelone	...	Mr. Pissington
William Hellfire	...	Beaner / Ralph / Guitar Player (as Bill Hellfire)

Also Known As:

Scary Sexy Disaster Movie (USA) (new title)
Vampire of the TITanic (USA) (trailer title)

MPAA:

Rated R for strong sexuality, nudity and language.

Runtime:

85 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1

Certification:

USA:R | Canada:XXX (Nova Scotia)

Company:

E.I. Independent Cinema

Movie Connections:

Featured in The Erotic Time Machine (2002) (V)

Better than Cameron's "Titanic" (but worse than everything else in the history of the planet)

A few years ago I came across this so-called film on eBay, while looking for theme gifts for the musical director (a very religious woman) of our community-theatre version of Broadway's "Titanic: The Musical." Naturally, I checked it out before giving it to her (lots of fraud on eBay these days). I still find it difficult to believe that this "film" (giving it the benefit of the doubt) was ever made. Suffice it to say that every piece of hard porn, soft porn, mindless violence, mass-produced kiddie animation, carpet sweepings, 10-week-old popcorn, doggie poop and anything else in your local video store is vastly superior to this (with the exception of James Cameron's "Titanic").

But do I consider my purchase a waste? Not at all!! Since that first year, the presentation of "Titanic 2000" to the most -- ahem -- DESERVING member of the orchestra has become a valued tradition. Every honoured recipient so far has vigorously denied even opening the case, but there sure were a lot of fingerprints on the disc when it was returned to me yesterday, ready for this year's ceremony.

Jealous of all the fun we have, down in the dark of the orchestra pit? We still need a harpist and an oboe/English horn player. Drop me a note!