Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)

User Rating:

1.6/10   

Director:

Kenneth J. Berton

Writer:

Kenneth J. Berton (writer)

Genre:

Family | Fantasy | Horror

Tagline:

In a world where magic only exists, anything can happen.

Plot:

Two creepy "horror" films joined together by Merlin's Shop which is, in turn, introduced by a Grandpa telling the story.

Plot Keywords:

Dragon | Monkey | Spell Book | Killer Doll | MST3K

Cast

Ernest Borgnine	...	Grandfather
George Milan	...	Merlin
Bunny Summers	...	Zurella
John Terrence	...	Jonathan Cooper III
Patricia Sansone	...	Madeline Cooper (as Pat Sansone)
Mark Hurtado	...	Grandson
Nicholas Noyes	...	Nicholas
Hillary Young	...	Nicholas' Mother
Julia Leigh Miller	...	Antique Store Clerk
Ben Sussman	...	Jake Cosgrove
Randy Chandler	...	Burglar
Bob Mendelsohn	...	David Andrews (archive footage) (as Bob Mendlesohn)
Struan Robertson	...	Michael Andrews (archive footage)
Bruce Parry	...	Pete (archive footage)
Vicki Saputo	...	Susan (archive footage)
Madelon Phillips	...	Adrianne the Psychic (archive footage)
J. Renee Gilbert	...	Grandma (archive footage)
Olwen Morgan	...	Elmira Johnson (archive footage)
Barry Chandler	...	Man in car (archive footage)
Ángeles Olazábal	...	Girl on bike (archive footage)
Kristi Berton	...	Sarah

Directed by
Kenneth J. Berton

Writing credits (in alphabetical order)
Kenneth J. Berton		writer

Produced by
Kenneth J. Berton	....	producer
Jeremy Rubin	....	associate producer

Original Music by
Todd Hayen
Frank Macchia

Cinematography by
Michael Gfelner
Tony Martin

Production Design by
Melodie Ennist
Lee Sjostrom

Makeup Department
Howard Tsubura	....	makeup artist
Douglas J. White	....	makeup artist (as Douglas White)

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Laura Chariton	....	assistant director

Special Effects by
Scott L. Anderson	....	special effects coordinator

Stunts
Nick Plantico	....	stunt coordinator

Camera and Electrical Department
Keith Morgan	....	gaffer
David Stern	....	key grip

Distributors

• Monarch Video (2004) (USA) (VHS)
• Trade One (Brazil) (VHS)

Special Effects

• Action Unlimited

Runtime:

92 min | UK:88 min (DVD)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Certification:

UK:PG | USA:Unrated

Filming Locations:

Petaluma, California, USA

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: During Merlin's final scene, as his head goes back, one of the rocks folds back, revealing it to be fake.

Quotes:

Jonathan Cooper: Merlin, you bastard!

Movie Connections:

Featured in "Mystery Science Theater 3000: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (#11.3)" (1999)

Merlin's shop of Hash and Trolls..........

"I'm Sorry"

WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING?!? Merlin's shop of Mystical Wonders is definitely one of the worst cinematic excuses I have ever seen. To put it simply, what the Godfather did for film, this movie accomplishes basically the exact opposite.

"Whoops, ah farted"

First of all, the Godfather was an amazing spectacle which sent a chill down the spine while also bringing a tear to the eye. This movie sends a yellow streak through the pants, while bringing a yawn to the lips. Just as one of the characters ages during the film after performing magic(A butt wipe critic who goes ballistic on Merlin for claiming to be himself, while Merlin, in turn, voraciously apologizes for no reason, thus the quote above) so shall you. The magic feat of your doing, however, will be sitting through this 10 ton turkey without cowering.

"Have you seen my monkey?"

As you may or may not have heard, there are two parts too this movie. The first part involves a man (Afforementioned) who threatens to shut Merlin's shop down if Merlin fails to present him with real magic. Merlin, being the nice guy he is, gives him the critic a book that ages him 40 years, turning him into what looks like a fight between Bill Nye the science guy and a 17th century powdered wig.

"Now, where did I put that great clips coupon"

The second part, which is actually a separate movie from director Ken Burton, who decided to cram the two together into an obvious fusion. Basically, a burglar steals a monkey, which can kill, and this makes Merlin really.......... sad. He basically first starts to mope, and then goes out and searches the city for the toy. He has no luck, until a random lady happens to remember seeing one of the thousand identical toys in a shop window. Meanwhile, in the same, yet different movie, a man buys his kid a toy, and it starts killing stuff by clanging it's cymbals together. Boring things happen, and some people almost die, and the man acts like a retard and almost falls in a pit, and we all cheer when the movie is finally over.

"It makes your greatest wish come true"."Then why are you still standing here?"

One thing I forgot to mention is that the whole movie is narrated by an old man with a giant gap in his two front teeth, who sent a chill down my spine every time he smiled. Of course, since the T.V. wouldn't work, he decided he would scare his Grandson (The worst child actor ever seen) crap less. Basically, the title of the film leads you to believe that this film is a children's flick about magic and sappy joy and hearty, squeaky-clean love. SCREW THAT! Cats get lit on fire, animals get burned, and worst of all, we have to endure it all with the gap-toothed Ernest Borgnine! Yargh. 1/10 stars is just too much