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*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"MOS" opens with great promise. We are at Command Central of the Mistress of Seduction phone-sex syndicate. A flock of attractive women operate a bank of phones, plugged into the needs of their heavy-breathing clientele. (is this the lost footage from the Aerosmith video?) But the promise is as empty as the imaginary passion of sex with Ma Bell. We immediately zero in on a bleached blonde at the end of the table, painting her toenails as she jockeys some poor sap's libido. Coincidentally, she happens to be the wife of the owner.And there's Trouble In Paradise, as our heroine, Gina, played by Kirstine Carlson, yearns for a better life. So she leaves LA and her sleazy husband, taking 500 large of his money, heading for NoWhereville, which turns out to be an idyllic little California town called Cherry Hill (looking very much like AnyWhereville, an ugly suburban subdivision in the San Fernando valley).She finds a room for rent in what must be the most innovative apartment-hunting scene in movie history and moves in with her two male room-mates, Mr. Nice and Mr. Naughty. And since she is not only an ex-employee of MOS but is also a certified MOS, shortly after moving in she bunks with both of them.We see a lot of Gina: in and out of the shower; dressing and undressing; shuttling back and forth between Mr. Nice and Mr. Naughty. Fortunately, she is toned, tattooed, and nicely augmented since she is pretty much all we see. There are a few very brief scenes with Mr. Naughty and his anonymous girlfriend, but these are little more than an excuse to stimulate Gina's carnal appetite.We also have a few scenes with her lawyer and confidant, Annie, who lounges quite seductively on the phone (is Annie an ex-employee of the MOS?), giving professional advice to Gina. Annie, played by Orly Tepper, appears at crucial moments in the plot but unfortunately we have only a few glimpses of this exotic and attractive brunette without her clothes on. Her nude scenes are remarkable, not just for their brevity and limited nudity, but also for sheer gymnastic awkwardness.Notice: Spoiler Alert!I suppose that I should give a spoiler alert by revealing that we have a happy ending to "MOS". Happy that is except for the sleazy husband who winds up shot very dead by Mr. Nice. (Even if a true spoiler is something like: Rosebud is a sled; or the murderer is really Norman wearing his Mom's dress). Turns out that: one, Mr. Naughty is actually Mr. Nice's lawyer; and two, Gina gives crucial testimony to spring Mr. Nice from the slammer. So Mr. Naughty and Annie wind up as a couple, as Lawyers In Love will, and Gina and Mr. Nice are reunited. They all pile into a rented LeBaron and drive off up some crummy back alley in wicked LA. And we wave a grateful good-bye, sending them off like some obnoxious houseguests, praying that they are not headed off to shoot "MOS2".
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