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Castor Troy:
You watch your FUCKING mouth!
[after waking from his coma and watching a video of his surgery]
Castor Troy: Hello, Doctor. I hope you don't mind: I took a few of your groovy painkillers. I'm just enjoying some of your greatest hits here. Oh God, this is excellent. Oh, bravo. Bra-fucking-vo.
Dietrich: Hey Sean, how's your dead son?
Castor Troy: Well, I've gotta go. I've got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck.
Castor Troy: If you dress like Halloween, ghouls will try to get in your pants.
Dietrich: You look like you just fucked your mother.
Sean Archer: Any word from the LAPD intelligence? If there IS such a thing?
Loomis: Not yet, sir.
Sean Archer: Of course not, because we're a covert anti-terrorist team that is so secret, that when we snap our fingers NOTHING HAPPENS!
Castor Troy: Isn't this religious, ah yes. The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners... but you are still not having fun.
Sean Archer: I want to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It's coming off.
Castor Troy: No daughter of mine would shoot so wide.
Sean Archer: When we put this thing away, you can brand the fourth amendment on my butt.
Castor Troy: I'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell"-A. deserves.
[Sean Archer and Castor Troy, each wearing the other's face, meet]
Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not.
[Troy and Archer see each other for the first time with each other's faces]
Castor Troy: Wooowhee. You good lookin'
[approaches Archer]
Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror, only, not.
Sean Archer: Castor? But, you were, in, in...
Castor Troy: In a coma? Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep. Read the newspaper lately?
[shows him the newspaper with Dr. Walsh's picture]
Sean Archer: You...
Castor Troy: Yes, I did. It beats paying the bill doesn't it? You know, a face lift costs about 5 grand.
[shows Archer his wedding ring]
Castor Troy: See anything you like?
[the scene goes to Castor and his gang killing Dr. Walsh and Tito by burning them]
Castor Troy: Yes. I have personally torched all the evidence that proves that you are you. So, wow. Looks like you're going to be in here for
[looks at his watch]
Castor Troy: [In a na-na style] The next hundered years. I have got to go. I got a goverment job to abuse.
[in Archer's ear]
Castor Troy: I got a lonely wife to fuck. Whoops did I just say that? Oh, oh I really missed that face
[tries to bite his own face off of Archer then, Archer pins him while the guards subdue Archer]
Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here. Papa's got a brand new bag.
Castor Troy: [looking at Jamie in her underwear]
[to himself]
Castor Troy: The plot thickens.
Jamie Archer: [on the phone] Carl, I'll have to call you back.
[hangs up]
Jamie Archer: You're not respecting my bounderies.
Castor Troy: I'm coming in Jainnie.
Jamie Archer: Jannie?
Castor Troy: [seeing a pillow that says Jamie on it] I do'nt think you heard me Jamie. You got something I crave.
[closes in on Jamie, reaches back and grabs her pack of cigarettes]
Jamie Archer: Danielle left those here.
Castor Troy: I wo'nt tell mom if you do'nt.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it]
Jamie Archer: When did you start smoking?
Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.
[blows smoke rings at Jamie]
Castor Troy: Papa's got a brand new bag. OW!
Sean Archer: [as Castor Troy] This is between us. Leave them out of it.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] No. You should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it too personally. Why could'nt you just kill yourself or let it go?
Sean Archer: [as Castor Troy] No father could.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] No brother could either.
Sasha Hassler: [coming in] Neither could a sister.
Jamie Archer: Dad, I'm sorry I shot you.
Castor Troy: Hello? This is Sean Archer.
Sean Archer: Well, if you are Sean Archer, then I must be Castor Troy.
Castor Troy: I AM Castor Troy!
Sean Archer: The man you think is your husband is not your husband.
Sean Archer: I'm not afraid to die.
Castor Troy: You're not having anymore fun, are you Sean?
Castor Troy: Interception! Now our side's got the ball. Sorry!
Sean Archer: I am your father!
Sean Archer: [after seeing Castor bringing in Archer's Wife] This is between you and me. Leave them out of it.
Castor Troy: No. Sean. "You" should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it so personally. Why could'nt you balme yourself or let it go?
Sean Archer: No father could.
Castor Troy: No brother could either.
Sasha Hassler: [coming in the middle of the fight] Niether could a sister.
Castor Troy: I hate to see you go, but I LOVE to watch you leave.
Castor Troy: You're not the only one in the family with the brains.
Pollux Troy: No, although now I am the only one with the looks.
Castor Troy: Touche.
Castor Troy: Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.
Castor Troy: I don't know what I hate wearing worse: your face or your body. I mean I certainly do enjoy boning your wife, but let's face it, we both like it better the other way, yes? So why don't we trade back.
Sean Archer: You can't give back what you've taken from me.
Castor Troy: OK, then... plan B, why don't we just kill each other?
Castor Troy: Y'know, I could eat a peach for hours.
Dietrich: No more drugs for that man.
Castor Troy: Wheee. What a predicament.
Castor Troy: Ohhhhhhhhweeee, you good-lookin.
Castor Troy: If I were to send you flowers where would I... no, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?
Dietrich: God damn. My place is getting FUCKED up.
Castor Troy: Ha HA HA HA HA Ha!
[a faceless Castor Troy confronts Dr. Walsh after waking from a coma]
Dr. Malcolm Walsh: What do you want?
Castor Troy: Take one goddamn guess.
Walton: You are now the property of Erewhon Prison. A citizen of nowhere. The Geneva Convention is void here; Amnesty International doesn't know we exist. When I say your ass belongs to me, I mean exactly that.
Castor Troy: You are right, Sean. I misbehaved. I have to be punished. But remember... Every time when you look in the mirror, you'll see my face.
[Tito, Sean Archer's best friend was killed by Castor Troy]
Buzz: Listen, sir... we just want you to know...
Wanda: We're all really sorry about Tito.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] Yeah, well, shit happens.
Dr. Eve Archer: Happy Birthday, Mikey. He took our baby, Sean. He took our little boy.
Castor Troy: When all else fails - fresh tactics!
Jamie Archer: Please tell me what planet I'm on!
Castor Troy: Sasha, what the *fuck*... are you doing here?
Burke Hicks: Don't you remember the little people?
Castor Troy: I'm ready, ready for the big ride baby!
Castor Troy: Well, you're gonna have to shoot me, 'cause I don't really give a fuck!
Castor Troy: [after saving Archers daughter from help boyfriend raping her] Do you have protection?
Jamie Archer: Protection? You mean like condoms?
Castor Troy: [pulls out his switchblade] No. Protection. Next time, let Carl drop his pants, slip this in his thigh, turn it. That way the wound won't close...
Castor Troy: I torched *all* the evidence that proves you're you. So, like, WOW! Looks like you're gonna be in here for...
[looks at his watch]
Castor Troy: [in a childish na-na tone] THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!
Pollux Troy: Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Castor Troy: Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] Sasha, baby, I'm Castor. That's Archer.
Sasha Hassler: And I'm bored.
Castor Troy: [holding his gun at Archer] Wow. We have something in common. We both know our guns.
Dr. Eve Archer: Well, Sean, I knew it only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Sean Archer: Come on, gimme a break, every house on this block looks the same.
Loomis: Sir why are you so upset? It's just Pollux Troy.
[Troy blow's Loomis' head off]
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[after waking from his coma and watching a video of his surgery]
Castor Troy: Hello, Doctor. I hope you don't mind: I took a few of your groovy painkillers. I'm just enjoying some of your greatest hits here. Oh God, this is excellent. Oh, bravo. Bra-fucking-vo.
Dietrich: Hey Sean, how's your dead son?
Castor Troy: Well, I've gotta go. I've got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck.
Castor Troy: If you dress like Halloween, ghouls will try to get in your pants.
Dietrich: You look like you just fucked your mother.
Sean Archer: Any word from the LAPD intelligence? If there IS such a thing?
Loomis: Not yet, sir.
Sean Archer: Of course not, because we're a covert anti-terrorist team that is so secret, that when we snap our fingers NOTHING HAPPENS!
Castor Troy: Isn't this religious, ah yes. The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners... but you are still not having fun.
Sean Archer: I want to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It's coming off.
Castor Troy: No daughter of mine would shoot so wide.
Sean Archer: When we put this thing away, you can brand the fourth amendment on my butt.
Castor Troy: I'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell"-A. deserves.
[Sean Archer and Castor Troy, each wearing the other's face, meet]
Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not.
[Troy and Archer see each other for the first time with each other's faces]
Castor Troy: Wooowhee. You good lookin'
[approaches Archer]
Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror, only, not.
Sean Archer: Castor? But, you were, in, in...
Castor Troy: In a coma? Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep. Read the newspaper lately?
[shows him the newspaper with Dr. Walsh's picture]
Sean Archer: You...
Castor Troy: Yes, I did. It beats paying the bill doesn't it? You know, a face lift costs about 5 grand.
[shows Archer his wedding ring]
Castor Troy: See anything you like?
[the scene goes to Castor and his gang killing Dr. Walsh and Tito by burning them]
Castor Troy: Yes. I have personally torched all the evidence that proves that you are you. So, wow. Looks like you're going to be in here for
[looks at his watch]
Castor Troy: [In a na-na style] The next hundered years. I have got to go. I got a goverment job to abuse.
[in Archer's ear]
Castor Troy: I got a lonely wife to fuck. Whoops did I just say that? Oh, oh I really missed that face
[tries to bite his own face off of Archer then, Archer pins him while the guards subdue Archer]
Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here. Papa's got a brand new bag.
Castor Troy: [looking at Jamie in her underwear]
[to himself]
Castor Troy: The plot thickens.
Jamie Archer: [on the phone] Carl, I'll have to call you back.
[hangs up]
Jamie Archer: You're not respecting my bounderies.
Castor Troy: I'm coming in Jainnie.
Jamie Archer: Jannie?
Castor Troy: [seeing a pillow that says Jamie on it] I do'nt think you heard me Jamie. You got something I crave.
[closes in on Jamie, reaches back and grabs her pack of cigarettes]
Jamie Archer: Danielle left those here.
Castor Troy: I wo'nt tell mom if you do'nt.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it]
Jamie Archer: When did you start smoking?
Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.
[blows smoke rings at Jamie]
Castor Troy: Papa's got a brand new bag. OW!
Sean Archer: [as Castor Troy] This is between us. Leave them out of it.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] No. You should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it too personally. Why could'nt you just kill yourself or let it go?
Sean Archer: [as Castor Troy] No father could.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] No brother could either.
Sasha Hassler: [coming in] Neither could a sister.
Jamie Archer: Dad, I'm sorry I shot you.
Castor Troy: Hello? This is Sean Archer.
Sean Archer: Well, if you are Sean Archer, then I must be Castor Troy.
Castor Troy: I AM Castor Troy!
Sean Archer: The man you think is your husband is not your husband.
Sean Archer: I'm not afraid to die.
Castor Troy: You're not having anymore fun, are you Sean?
Castor Troy: Interception! Now our side's got the ball. Sorry!
Sean Archer: I am your father!
Sean Archer: [after seeing Castor bringing in Archer's Wife] This is between you and me. Leave them out of it.
Castor Troy: No. Sean. "You" should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it so personally. Why could'nt you balme yourself or let it go?
Sean Archer: No father could.
Castor Troy: No brother could either.
Sasha Hassler: [coming in the middle of the fight] Niether could a sister.
Castor Troy: I hate to see you go, but I LOVE to watch you leave.
Castor Troy: You're not the only one in the family with the brains.
Pollux Troy: No, although now I am the only one with the looks.
Castor Troy: Touche.
Castor Troy: Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.
Castor Troy: I don't know what I hate wearing worse: your face or your body. I mean I certainly do enjoy boning your wife, but let's face it, we both like it better the other way, yes? So why don't we trade back.
Sean Archer: You can't give back what you've taken from me.
Castor Troy: OK, then... plan B, why don't we just kill each other?
Castor Troy: Y'know, I could eat a peach for hours.
Dietrich: No more drugs for that man.
Castor Troy: Wheee. What a predicament.
Castor Troy: Ohhhhhhhhweeee, you good-lookin.
Castor Troy: If I were to send you flowers where would I... no, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?
Dietrich: God damn. My place is getting FUCKED up.
Castor Troy: Ha HA HA HA HA Ha!
[a faceless Castor Troy confronts Dr. Walsh after waking from a coma]
Dr. Malcolm Walsh: What do you want?
Castor Troy: Take one goddamn guess.
Walton: You are now the property of Erewhon Prison. A citizen of nowhere. The Geneva Convention is void here; Amnesty International doesn't know we exist. When I say your ass belongs to me, I mean exactly that.
Castor Troy: You are right, Sean. I misbehaved. I have to be punished. But remember... Every time when you look in the mirror, you'll see my face.
[Tito, Sean Archer's best friend was killed by Castor Troy]
Buzz: Listen, sir... we just want you to know...
Wanda: We're all really sorry about Tito.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] Yeah, well, shit happens.
Dr. Eve Archer: Happy Birthday, Mikey. He took our baby, Sean. He took our little boy.
Castor Troy: When all else fails - fresh tactics!
Jamie Archer: Please tell me what planet I'm on!
Castor Troy: Sasha, what the *fuck*... are you doing here?
Burke Hicks: Don't you remember the little people?
Castor Troy: I'm ready, ready for the big ride baby!
Castor Troy: Well, you're gonna have to shoot me, 'cause I don't really give a fuck!
Castor Troy: [after saving Archers daughter from help boyfriend raping her] Do you have protection?
Jamie Archer: Protection? You mean like condoms?
Castor Troy: [pulls out his switchblade] No. Protection. Next time, let Carl drop his pants, slip this in his thigh, turn it. That way the wound won't close...
Castor Troy: I torched *all* the evidence that proves you're you. So, like, WOW! Looks like you're gonna be in here for...
[looks at his watch]
Castor Troy: [in a childish na-na tone] THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!
Pollux Troy: Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Castor Troy: Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin.
Castor Troy: [as Sean Archer] Sasha, baby, I'm Castor. That's Archer.
Sasha Hassler: And I'm bored.
Castor Troy: [holding his gun at Archer] Wow. We have something in common. We both know our guns.
Dr. Eve Archer: Well, Sean, I knew it only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Sean Archer: Come on, gimme a break, every house on this block looks the same.
Loomis: Sir why are you so upset? It's just Pollux Troy.
[Troy blow's Loomis' head off]
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