Sandra:
It's for his bird.
Tony:
Do you have to use words like that? It really disempowers you.
Sandra:
Where are you going?
Jamie:
Out with my mates.
Sandra:
Jamie... you ain't got any mates.
Sandra:
It's not natural, is it?
Jamie:
What ain't?
Sandra:
A girl her age being into Mama Cass.
Leah:
She's got a really beautiful voice.
Sandra:
And what's wrong with Madonna?
Leah:
She's a slag.
Sandra:
Hypocrite.
Jamie:
Scared of being called "queer"?
Ste:
Are you?
Jamie:
Maybe... maybe not.
Ste:
And are ya?
Jamie:
Queer?
Ste:
Gay.
Jamie:
Very happy. I'm happy when I'm with you...
Sandra:
What happened? School burned down, did it?
Jamie:
Yeah.
Sandra:
What was it this time? IRA bomb?
Jamie:
Fundamentalist Muslim pyromaniacs.
Sandra:
Oh, funny, that. Looked all right when I walked past it.
Ste:
There ain't nowhere else.
Sandra:
There is, actually, Ste. There's an island in the Mediterranean called Lesbian, and all its inhabitants are dykes. So you've got your eye wiped there.
Ste:
You always wear glasses when you read?
Jamie:
Supposed to.
Ste:
But you don't at school.
Jamie:
It's hardly fetching, is it?
Ste:
Nah, looks all right.
Jamie:
Really?
Ste:
I'm tellin' ya.
Jamie:
Cheers.
Miss Chauhan:
Right, now, this is Mr. Bennett and he's gonna be taking the boys for football. Mr. Bennett foolishly wants to be a teacher.
[
McBride and the other boys are talking quietly, but including the word "fucking" several times, making Miss Chauhan's comments about Mr. Bennett barely audible. Jamie then looks across to McBride]
Ryan McBride:
What you fucking looking at?
Miss Chauhan:
Er, less fucking and more attention please.
[
She looks across to Gina, who is obviously pregnant]
Miss Chauhan:
Something you might have said to your boyfriend, that, Gina.
Ste:
Do you think I'm queer?
Jamie Gangel:
It don't matter what I think.
Leah Russell:
I wish I was the one that was going away. Nothing ever happens around here. I gets up in the morning, bake my face in half a ton of slap, tong my hair with yesterday's lacquer, that's it. It's the same every bleeding day. There's fuck-all to look forward to.
Ste:
[
reading magazine] You cannot transmit the HIV virus by frottage.
Ste:
What's frottage?
Jamie Gangel:
It's yogurt. It's French.
Sandra Gangel:
Now you just remember I won a year's supply of toilet freshener for making up that poem. That took brains and artistry, that did.
Leah:
Come on Slasher, let's go.
Sandra:
Slasher? What do you slash, crepe paper?
Leah:
He's incontinent.
Leah:
It's your bird. She talks to me like I've got "cunt" written on me forehead.
Tony:
You shouldn't use words like "bird".
Jamie:
Where'd you meet my mum?
Tony:
Planet Earth!
Jamie:
Yeah, but where?
Tony:
A place is just somewhere where shit happens.
Jamie:
Yeah, but where?
Tony:
Gateways.
Jamie:
You know who Claude Monet is?
Sandra:
Jamie, don't make me out to be thick.
Jamie:
Who was he then?
Sandra:
He painted the Sixteenth Chapel.
Leah:
Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
Sandra:
No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?
Miss Chauhan:
BALLS, Mr. Bennett!
Jamie:
[
hearing phone ring] That'll be the phone.
Sandra:
Well it wouldn't be the bloody Hoover bag, would it?
Sandra:
You're pissed! From a bloody gay bar!
Jamie:
How do you know it's a gay bar?
Sandra:
Cos it's got a bloody great pink neon arse outside of it!
Related Links