Memorable quotes for
"Xena: Warrior Princess" (1995) More at IMDbPro »

Autolycus: Distracts me? A beautiful woman lying naked in a bathtub?
[Laughs]
Autolycus: ... Where was I?

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Joxer: There's a lot we can learn from each other, you know.
Autolycus: Sure. Hey, why don't you start by teaching me how to disappear without a trace?
Joxer: Okay! First, you...
[offended]
Joxer: Hey!
Autolycus: [to Gabrielle] Why is he here?
Gabrielle: He knows Jett.
Autolycus: No, in a grander sense - why is he here?

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Xena: I have *many* skills.

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Lao Ma: Nothing is soft as water. Yet, who can withstand the raging flood?

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Xena: You always got to me, but you were bad for me, Ares. You still are.
Ares: Xena, is there even a chance we could be together one day? I don't know, maybe, you know one in a thousand?
Xena: More like one in a billion.
Ares: So you're sayin' there is a chance.

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Xena: Gabrielle, did you know that Joxer simply adores you?
Joxer: Could I speak to you privately?
Xena: He would crawl 50 miles on broken glass, just to sweat in your shadow.

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Gabrielle: [Gabrielle assesses her surroundings] "The Elusyian Fields... only heroes wind up here."
[a Pause]
Gabrielle: "Dead heroes."
[She looks down, realizes she is completely naked and covers herself with her arms in disbelief and embarrassment]
Gabrielle: "Dead naked heroes."

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Gabrielle: Your mother loves you.
Eve: Then why is she trying to destroy me?
Gabrielle: Xena wants to protect you. She won't fight you.
Eve: Well, maybe she just hasn't been properly motivated.
[Livia puts a blade to Gabrielle's throat]

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Eve: Oh goody. Mom's here.
[then they break into battle]

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Leah: Heathens to the left of me, infidels to the right! Tremendous! Next thing is you will be telling me you're not virgins!

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Alti: [Alti appears before Gabrielle in the Spirit Realm] Xena's Little Bitch. Welcome to the doghouse!

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Leah: Life as a priestess to the virgin goddess Hestia isn't all that hard, the most important rule is to know who you are.
Gabrielle: Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem.

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Ares: I never knew you were looking for a father.
Xena: I'm not.
Ares: Well then someone clearly has the job.
Xena: Yeah, Gabrielle.
[Gabrielle smirks]
Ares: I would have *paid* to see that...

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Leah: You AREN'T virgins?
Gabrielle: Well, *I* was married at the time.
Leah: Well, we all have our little EXCUSES, hmm?
Gabrielle: [Xena smirks] Were you?

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