Memorable quotes for
Die Hard 2 (1990) More at IMDbPro »

Carmine Lorenzo: You are in my little pond now, and I am the big fish that runs it.

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John McClane: [during the fight with Col.Stuart] Motherfuckin' motherfucker!

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Trudeau: Alright, we've got a body in the morgue that seems to have died twice. Assuming it's not a computer error, what do we assume?
John McClane: That somebody's about to seriously fuck with this airport.
Trudeau: What the hell is that supposed to mean? I mean, I know we're dummies up here, McClane, so give us a little taste of your brilliant genius! I mean, you talking about a hijacking, a robbery or what?
John McClane: Look, I'm not sure. All I know, is...
Carmine Lorenzo: Oh, he's not sure! Well, I'm stunned! I gotta lie down!
John McClane: The only people that go to this much trouble are professionals, not luggage thieves and not punks!
Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: Professional at what?
John McClane: [holding up the fax] What the fuck do you this is, huh? The safety patrol, here? This is the resume of a professional mercenary! You got the world's biggest drug dealer on his way here, now. What, do you need, a slide rule to figure this out? Or maybe another body in a zipper bag before you start asking questions?
Carmine Lorenzo: Hey, pal, you're the one that gave us that fuckin' body, remember that.
John McClane: Yeah, I remember that.

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John McClane: That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me. You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. Dosen't show up on your airport X-ray machines, here, and it cost more than you make in a month.
Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be a surprised what I make in a month.
John McClane: If it's more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be very surprised.

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Al Powell: What's this about?
John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have.
Al Powell: Ouch. When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt.

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John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?
[under his breath]
John McClane: Fat fuck.

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[McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system]
John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin' Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no. I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can.

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[McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter]
Chopper Pilot: What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough?
John McClane: I don't like to fly.
Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here?
John McClane: I don't like to lose either.

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Al Powell: You're not pissing in somebody's pool, are you?
John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh outta chlorine.

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John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?

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Grant: You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.
John McClane: Story of my life.

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John McClane: Guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all.
Grant: Oh, you were right. I'm just your kind of asshole.

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Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you.
John McClane: I got enough friends.

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Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport.
John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too.

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Marvin: You like it, huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it?
John McClane: How 'bout I let you live?
Marvin: Man knows how to bargain.

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Carmine Lorenzo: Hey McClane! You get this parking ticket in front of my airport?
John McClane: Yeah.
[Lorenzo tears ticket up]
Carmine Lorenzo: Ah, what the hell; it's Christmas!

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[John can't get out from under his parachute]
John McClane: Where's the fuckin' door?

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John McClane: What do you say, Marv?
Marvin: I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess.

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[John McClane is taking a dead guy's fingerprints]
Morgue Worker: Hey. You're supposed to do that at the morgue.
John McClane: Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA.

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John McClane: Yippie-kai-yay, motherfucker.

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John McClane: [to Al Powell] Take the Twinkie out of your mouth and grab a pencil, will ya?

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Grant: Major Grant. We're Blue Light.
Rollins, Department of Justice Representative: Rollins, Department of Justice.
Trudeau: Trudeau, Chief of Air Operations.
Carmine Lorenzo: Lorenzo, Terminal Police. You want something, you got it.
John McClane: This is it? One fucking platoon?
Grant: One crisis, one platoon. Who are you?
John McClane: John McClane.
Grant: McClane, you showed some balls out there, man.
John McClane: Yeah.
Grant: Now, show some good sense. Let the pros handle this.
John McClane: Yeah, well, it looks like the pros are on the wrong team tonight. Isn't Colonel Stuart one of your men?
Grant: No, not anymore he's not. Now we're here to take Colonel Stuart down. And we will take him down. You see, I served with him. I taught him everything he knows.
John McClane: Well, maybe he's learned a few more things since then.

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[after McClane has failed to prevent the Windsor plane crash triggered by Col. Stuart]
Trudeau: McClane, I know what you must feel.
John McClane: I wanted to help those people tonight. I was pretty goddamn useless.

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John McClane: Excuse me, officers. This may sound like a wild goose chase, but, I think I just saw...
Sgt. Vito Lorenzo: Saw what?
John McClane: Elvis. Elvis Presley.
Sgt. Vito Lorenzo: [after McClane leaves, Sgt Lorenzo turns to his partner] Fucking tourists. Oughta be a law.

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Richard Thornburg: No you did not explain anything to me. All you did was shove me back here in this cattle car.
Stewardess: Sir, you were told when you boarded we were overbooked.
Richard Thornburg: Fine. Done. I accept that. But why in hell can't I get the first class meal my network paid for. Do you know who I am?
Stewardess: Yes. We've all seen your program. Your episode "Flying Junkyards" was a very objective look at air traffic safety.
Stewardess: It wasn't nearly as edifying as "Bimbos of the Sky." Was it, Connie?
Richard Thornburg: You think you're funny. You think you're funny. Fine. I've got your number.
Stewardess: And I've got yours. So park it, Sir.
Richard Thornburg: [sits down and sees Holly looking at him] Stewardess!
Stewardess: Mr. Thornburg, you cannot monopolize my time.
Richard Thornburg: You cannot put me near that woman.
Stewardess: Excuse me?
Holly McClane: He means he's filed a restraining order against me. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of him.
Richard Thornburg: 50 yards. So by keeping me in the section you are violating a court order. I can sue you and this airline. That woman assaulted me and she humiliated me in public.
Stewardess: [walks over to Holly and whispers] What did you do?
Holly McClane: Knocked out two of his teeth.
Stewardess: Would you like some champagne?

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John McClane: Holly! Here's your fucking landing light. Whoo!

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Rent-A-Car Girl: I close in about an hour. Maybe we can go get a drink?
John McClane: [shows his wedding ring] Just the fax, ma'am. Just the fax.

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Samantha Coleman: Colonel Stuart, can I have a few words, please?
Col. Stuart: You can have two: "fuck" and "you".
Garber: [grabbing the TV Camera] No pictures, you pinko bitch!

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Holly McClane: Honey, it's the '90s, remember? Microchips, microwaves, faxes, *air phones*.
John McClane: Hey, well, as far as I'm concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza.

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Samantha Coleman: You give me this story and I'll have your baby.
John McClane: Not the kind of ride I'm looking for.

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Col. Stuart: Happy landings, asshole.

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[after the terrorist attack]
Holly McClane: Why does this keep happening to us?

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Holly McClane: Listen Dick. That is your name? Dick. If you're gonna continue to get this close do you think you might consider switching aftershaves?
Richard Thornburg: Anything else?
Holly McClane: Stronger mouthwash would be nice.

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Carmine Lorenzo: It's time to kick ass.
Marvin: Just like Iwo Jima!

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Sergeant: Hey, asshole! What do I look like to you?
O'Reilly: A sitting duck.
[shoots him]

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[Stuart realizes who he's dealing with]
Col. Stuart: Oh, McClane. John McClane. The policeman hero who saved the Nakatomi hostages. I read about you in People Magazine. You seemed a bit out of your league on Nightline, I thought.
John McClane: Hey, Colonel. Blow me! How much drug money is Esperanza paying you to turn traitor?
Col. Stuart: I think Cardinal Richilieu said it best. 'Treason is merely a matter of dates'. This country's got to learn that it can't keep cutting the legs off of men like General Esperanza. Men who have the guts to stand up against Communist aggression.
John McClane: And Lesson #1 starts with killing policemen. What's Lesson #2, the neutron bomb?
Col. Stuart: No. I think we can find something in between. Watch this!

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Col. Stuart: So much for the element of chance.

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[after McClane is locked inside the airplane cockpit]
Col. Stuart: McClane? I assume it's you, McClane. You're quite a little soldier. You can consider this a military funeral.
[his troops open fire on the cockpit]

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[Esperanza has landed the plane and steps outside]
Gen. Ramon Esperanza: Freedom!
John McClane: [punches him] Not yet!
[draws his gun on Esperanza]
John McClane: You're supposed to stay in your seat until the plane reaches the terminal. No frequent flier mileage for you.
Gen. Ramon Esperanza: Who are you?
John McClane: A cop.
Gen. Ramon Esperanza: A cop?
John McClane: Yeah. One of the good guys. You see, you're one of the bad guys, and now that I got your sorry ass, I'm gonna trade it for my wife.

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John McClane: If Esperanza gets on that plane and makes it to a country that has no extradition treaties, we're fucked.

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[Thornburg has been grossly distorting and exaggerating the facts about the terrorists to WZDC News over the air-phone]
Richard Thornburg: But at least the truth, is *not* among the hostages because I, Richard Thornburg, just happen to be here. To put his life and talent on the line for humanity and country,
[Holly enters the bathroom]
Richard Thornburg: and if this should be my final broadcast...
Holly McClane: [zaps him with stun-gun] Amen to that, Dick!

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[after triggering an airplane crash; into the radio]
Col. Stuart: That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out.

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John McClane: All right, just stay here and get ready to call the marines.
Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: I thought they were the army.
John McClane: Who gives a fuck, just be ready.

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[after Thornburg has reported that terrorists have taken control of the airport]
Trudeau: That stupid, arrogant son-of-a-bitch! It's all over the airport.

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[after Col. Stuart caused a plane to crash]
John McClane: [crying] Mother fucker.

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John McClane: Oh, we are just up to our ass in terrorists again, John?

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John McClane: [watching a man in front of the church] Could be a sentry.
Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: And he could just be out for a walk.
John McClane: Then why is he going over his own footsteps?

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Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [an air traffic controller has suggested getting portable lights to direct the planes] And where do we get those big portable lights? Borrow them from Batman?

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John McClane: I'll make you a deal, Marvin. You show me a shortcut out to those runways and I'll get you a liner for that coat.

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Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [referring to a slain terrorist's walkie-talkie] Next time you kill one of these guys, get 'em to enter the code first.

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Marvin: I'm Marv. I thought you was trying to steal my records, that's all.

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John McClane: Holly!... There's your fricken landing-light!

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Holly McClane: Listen, buster, you endangered my children. And you didn't do it for anything as noble as The People. The only time you even see The People is when you look down to see what it is you're stepping on.

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