Memorable quotes for
Summer School (1987) More at IMDbPro »

Chainsaw: You passed and I failed! You asshole! How could you do that to me?
Dave: It was an accident. I'll take it again. I can fail, I know I can.

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Chainsaw: We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.

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[about sobriety]
Chainsaw: Reality is so unreal.
Dave: But it is a nice change.
Chainsaw: True. Two thumbs up.

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Dave: This menstruation thing? It's a scam! Women are so lucky.

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Chainsaw: Can I call my folks and tell them I won't be coming home... ever?

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Phil Gills: Would someone tell me what Mr. Shoop had planned for today?
Chainsaw: Group sex. No, that's tomorrow. Today is independent study, right after our mid-morning nap.

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Shoop: Please take your seats.
Chainsaw, Dave: Where should we take 'em?

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Pam: You want us to study?
Shoop: The thought did cross my mind.
Denise: Well, what's in it for us? What do we get out of it?
Shoop: Literacy?

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Shoop: Your teacher was arrested for giving vodka to students.
Dave: You went to jail for us?
Shoop: On roller skates.

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Phil Gills: [the class is watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"] Oh my God. What are you watching?
Shoop: New film from the district, "Safe Use Of Power Tools".
Phil Gills: [holds a box] This just came... I don't want to know what's in here, do I?
Shoop: Nope, probably not.

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Shoop: Hey, I remember you. Where have you been?
Jerome Watkins: Bathroom.
Shoop: For the last six weeks?
Jerome Watkins: My zipper got stuck.

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[the classroom is the scene of a bloodbath]
Phil Gills: What is wrong with you people?
Dave: It's just like you said Gills! We're psychopaths! Somebody better call the school nurse!

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[Shoop is calling roll]
Shoop: Francis Gremp?
Chainsaw: Don't ever call me that, the name's "Chainsaw".
Shoop: As in "Black and Decker"?
Chainsaw: As in "Texas Massacre".

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Shoop: Where are my car keys?
Chainsaw: There somewhere in this room. Right now you're ice cold.

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Chainsaw: Our next field trip has to be to the beach.
Dave: We have to see Annamaria in a bikini. It's very important.

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Pam: So, you're all alone and you like young girls.

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Chainsaw's Sister: How do you spell "cat"?
Chainsaw: I don't know!

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Mrs. Gremp: How do you want your eggs? Fried, or scrambled?
Chainsaw: I don't know. What are eggs?

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Chainsaw: Tension-breaker. Had to be done.

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Shoop: Can anybody tell me why writing is important?
Pam: Because it's a form of communication.
Shoop: Very good, it can also get you free stuff.
Kids: Free?
Shoop: Free, I'm writing it down... here's how it works, we've all been ripped off, right? Pay phone steals your money... not enough cheese on your pizza...
Chainsaw: My shades keep falling apart!
Shoop: That's a perfect example. Now you're going to write that company a letter and you're going to see action, but only if the letter is well written and it threatens to hurt their business, and it's signed, excuse me Chainsaw, Francis Gremp, President: Consumer Against Faulty Eyewear.
Chainsaw: You want me to lie? Okay.

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Rhonda Altobello: Hi, I'd like to sign up for Lamaze classes.
Nurse: Okay. How are Tuesday nights for you and your coach?
Rhonda Altobello: Perfect. But, I don't have a coach.
Nurse: Well, what about the father?
Rhonda Altobello: Well, you see, that's sort of confusing. It's either David Lee Roth who's on tour or Sean Penn. And I'd really hate to upset Madonna.
Nurse: [unamused] Fill this out.

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Rhonda Altobello: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Shoop: Absolutely. Lamaze class: great place to meet girls.

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Shoop: You know what we need Wonder Mutt?
[sticks his finger in jam jar with a peanut butter coated finger, and feeds it to Wonder Mutt]
Shoop: Besides bread. We need a woman that can appreciate what we have to offer.

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