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Look what's on the menu at the Blood Diner: an all you can eat buffet of hokey joke-shop dismemberment and gore, followed by a main course of sick humour and a side order of gratuitous nudity, all topped with a generous serving of 80s cheese. Sounds tasty, huh?Well, director Jackie Kong's Blood Diner sure sounds like mouth-watering stuff for fans of silly low budget schlock-horrorbut, unfortunately, despite having all the correct ingredients, what Kong serves up is an overcooked mess, and I found I lost my appetite pretty quickly.The storya kind of unofficial sequel to H. G. Lewis's gore classic Blood Feastfollows two brothers as they set about preparing an all meat buffet (made from the body parts of immoral women) in preparation for the revival of an ancient Egyptian goddess. With the help of their Uncle Anwar (a talking disembodied brain in a jar), they gather the special ingredients needed for their ritual. Meanwhile, a couple of cops attempt to find out who is responsible for the spate of grisly murders that have been happening in the area.With shockingly awful acting from all involved, bags of unconvincing gore, and some of the most unbelievably insane and random 'comedy' imaginable (topless aerobics, a ventriloquist chef, a Hitler impersonating wrestler) Blood Diner is certainly a 'unique' viewing experience, but it isn't one that I found very enjoyable (and I'm usually rather partial to bad films).By the final scenein which the audience at a bizarre rock concert (where an absurdly bequiffed singer is supported on stage by, amongst others, a pantomime horse and two trumpet-playing 'hitlers'!!) turn into zombies and feed upon the buffet of human flesh, thereby reviving the ancient goddessI had had more than enough of this garbage! The dreadfully puerile humour, thoroughly annoying characters, and bargain basement effects made this crap-fest as hard to stomach as some of Troma's worst efforts. And that's saying something!
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