Memorable quotes for
"Max Headroom" (1987) More at IMDbPro »

Breugel: The loudest sound in the universe is the last heartbeat.

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Zik-Zak Announcer: Zik-Zak... We make everything you need and you need everything we make.

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Max Headroom: Ah - love - the walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the fights over just about everything else...

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Max Headroom: How can you tell a network executive is lying? His lips move!

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Max Headroom: What do men do when women are distressed?
Theora Jones: Run away or boast, normally.

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[Bryce and Grossman watch as Max is turned on for the first time]
Max Headroom: Say, would someone mind checking the ratings? I seem to have an audience of two.

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Max Headroom: Yes, t-t-t-t-tune into Network 23! The network that's a *real* mind-blower!
[his head explodes then reappears]
Max Headroom: And I love, love, l-l-love... love those blip-blip-blip-blipverts!

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Max Headroom: Freedom. You know, writers have no freedom on TV. One rude suggestion, and the censors are straight on their back. Not on their back in a rude way.

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Max Headroom: Now, I'm no librarian, in fact, I don't know what star sign I am. But, as a famous person once said, "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." And as I - another more famous person - once said, "If you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like."

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Max Headroom: Have you any idea how successful censorship is on TV? Don't know the answer? Hmm. Successful, isn't it?

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Max Headroom: Well, most people would agree that censors are a silly breed. In fact, it surprises me how they ever manage to breed at all.

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[last lines]
Max Headroom: As, 'tis Max Headroom here, and I quote from the bard, Shakespeare, a writer: "The quality of TV is not strained, it dropeth as the gentle ratings dropeth to a very tiny percentage share and, lo, 'tis gone." Of course, Shakespeare would have loved your rating system. Twelfth Night would have been lucky to have lasted *one*!

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Ben Cheviot: Override Censor? Good God, Murray! I'm the Chairman, not the Creator!

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Murray: Those that can, do. Those that can't, censor it.

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Grossberg: I want you to form a team of the most brilliant minds in network television.
Bryce Lynch: Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

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Murray: You can't fake a tape! Pictures don't lie!
[pause]
Murray: At least not until you've assembled them creatively.

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Edison Carter: What happened to the old religions?
Murray: I don't know. Television killed it. We have better miracles.

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Bryce Lynch: There are no experimental failures. There's only more data!

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Grossberg: The show has surprise, shock, pace... and huge cash stakes. I've accomplished the impossible... I've replaced mindless action with fascination.

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Theora Jones: [reading a list of complaints from the network censor] "I have noted three 'damns,' four 'hells,' sixteen cases of sexual innuendo, a reference to self-abuse, two veiled remarks about network presidents, and a joke about the Son of God." Doesn't say which god.
Edison Carter: I'm sure it's the current one. It's probably the guy who's running the censor computer.

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Max Headroom: Y'know... I get the feeling there's a lot of faces out there... watching... me! And I can tell you it brings a lump to my ratings. Yes, this is Network 23. The net-net-net-net-network that puts it right... where they want you to be!

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Max Headroom: Converts are the worst bigots.

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