Cavegirl (1985)

User Rating:

3.1/10   

Director:

David Oliver

Writers:

Phil Groves (screenplay)
David Oliver (writer)

Release Date:

May 1985 (USA)

Genre:

Comedy | Romance

Tagline:

Rex is taking his first big trip...back 25,000 years!

Plot:

On a class excursion to a cave with stone age paintings the clumsy Rex gets lost. A mysterious crystal...

Plot Keywords:

Prehistoric | Caveman | Nudity | Erotica | Time Travel

Cast

Daniel Roebuck	...	Rex
Cynthia Thompson	...	Eba (as Cindy Ann Thompson)
Darren Young	...	Dar
Saba Moor-Doucette	...	Saba (as Saba Moor)
Jeff Chayette	...	Argh
Charles Mitchell	...	Char
Cynthia Rullo	...	Aka
Tom Hamil	...	Casey
Bill Adams	...	Bill
Chris Noble	...	Hank
Bill Sehres	...	Ralph
Sydni King	...	Karen
Stacey Swain	...	Brenda
A.A. Cavallaro	...	Rex's father
Maggie Ostroff	...	Rex's mother

Runtime:

Brazil:86 min | USA:85 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Arvin, California, USA

Company:

Crown International Pictures

Goofs:

Factual errors: There were no humans in North America in 25,000 BC.

Quotes:

Eba: Eba have big boobs. What Rex have big?

Makes 'Creatures the World Forgot' look like a Shakespearian masterpiece.

This is a woefully unfunny film, with none of the 'so-bad-it's-entertaining' elements which similar films sometimes provide.

Story follows Rex, a geeky high-school student ( who looks far too old ) who is an incredibly annoying character, totally without charm. On a field trip he manages to find some kind of crystal which transports him back to the stone-age. Here he meets and falls in love with a pre-Baywatch, tanned, buxom, curly blonde-haired Charlie's Angel in a bikini.

I almost invariably find something to like in these 1980's teen comedies, but 'Cave Girl' is dire from start to finish. The attempts at humour are clumsy failures, usually revolving around Rex nervously trying to introduce Eba to the delights of pre-adolescent fumbling. The other prehistoric people are a bunch of grunting, idiotic, down-and-outs with straggly hair and fur waistcoats. They only serve to pad out the narrative which runs out of ideas after 20 minutes and wanders aimlessly around until things stagger to a faltering conclusion.

When a fart joke and a sight-gag featuring blowing up a condom, provoke not the slightest response you know its not looking good. Just when things seem to have reached their lowest, new depths are plunged into with a dire love song on the soundtrack, as Rex loses Eba and wanders around forlornly trying to find her.

This really is rubbish - the only features with any merit are the video cover featuring the scantily clad Eba posing with a club over her shoulder; the early scene when Rex goes into the wrong changing rooms and is chased out by a group of topless girls; and the brief couple of seconds when Eba finally gets her 'thrupenny bits' out.

Rex makes an immediate entry into my hit-list of the most irritating characters in film.