Memorable quotes for
My Favorite Year (1982) More at IMDbPro »

[Alan Swann pours himself a drink]
Benjy Stone: Mr. Swann, I was supposed to watch you, remember?
Swann: Good. Watch this.
[Pours another drink]

---

Alan Swann: Rookie, your Meatloaf Mindanao was superb!
Rookie Carroca: Thanks. That takes two days to prepare, you know.
Alan Swann: Really! Tell me, what was that rather pungent taste?
Rookie Carroca: Parrot!
[someone spits up and Aunt Sadie swoons; the parrot cage is empty]
Rookie Carroca: And they're not easy to work with. They put up some squawk.
Alan Swann: I can imagine!

---

Alan Swann: Alfredo, telephone the Stork Club, we'll be two for dinner.
Alfi: You sure you want the Stork Club, Mr. Swann?
Alan Swann: It's been a year and a half. Surely they've repaired the wall of the bandstand by now.

---

[an obviously drunken Swann meets the writing staff]
Sy: He's plastered!
Alan Swann: So are some of the finest erections in Europe.

---

[Handing Benjy a glass]
Alan Swann: Stone, you can watch me or you can join me. One of them is more fun.

---

Alan Swann: Are you still in the fight game?
Rookie Carroca: In a way. I married Benjy's mother.

---

Benjy Stone: Bring Allan Swann to Brooklyn?
Belle: Sure, what are you ashamed of?
Benjy Stone: Everything!

---

Benjy Stone: I think I'm going to be unwell.
Alan Swann: Ladies are unwell, Stone. Gentlemen vomit.

---

[Alan Swann has blundered into the wrong restroom]
Lil: This is for ladies only!
Alan Swann: [unzipping fly] So is *this*, ma'am, but every now and then I have to run a little water through it.

---

Benjy Stone: Catherine, Jews know two things: suffering, and where to find great Chinese food.

---

K.C.: I mean, what do you want from me?
Benjy Stone: Sex!

---

Alan Swann: Damn you! I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!

---

[Benjy Stone and a very drunken Alan Swann are up on a roof as Swann attempts to shimmy down the side of the building]
Benjy Stone: Let's *not* do this - it's too dangerous!
Alan Swann: Nonsense! It worked perfectly well in "A Slight Case of Divorce"!
Benjy Stone: That was a movie! This is real life!
Alan Swann: What is the difference?

---

King Kaiser: You look real nice today, Alice. Did you get those shoes I sent you?
Alice Miller: Oh yeah.
King Kaiser: Why did you send them back?
Alice Miller: They were the wrong size. And they were used.

---

Belle: Welcome to my humble chapeau!
Benjy Stone: Two years at the Sorbonne and she still can't get it right.

---

Sy: California? You can't write comedy in California! It's not depressing enough!

---

Swann: I haven't performed in front of an audience for twenty-eight years! I played a butler. I HAD ONE LINE!
[pause]
Swann: I FORGOT IT!

---

K.C.: Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
Benjy Stone: Sanctuary my ass!

---

Swann: What's in a name? A rose by any other name would wither and die.

---

Belle: Allen, what can I offer you to drink?
Swann: Some club soda, thank you.
Belle: [yelling into the kitchen] Rookie, a glass of seltzer!
Rookie Carroca: [yelling back] Pick it up!

---

Uncle Morty: So, Mr. Swann, we've spent time, we've broken bread together. I feel I know you.
Swann: Morty, I feel I know you even better.
Uncle Morty: So you won't mind if I ask you a personal question.
Benjy Stone: Uncle Morty!
Uncle Morty: What's the matter, you think I was born in Minsk a Pinsk?
Swann: Morty, ask your question.
Uncle Morty: That paternity rap a few years ago - did you shtup her?

---

Belle: So, Swanny... .
Benjy Stone: Ma, he's an actor, not a river.

---

Sy: We're talkin' future generations here. We're discussing morals.
Alice Miller: [for Herb] You're not qualified to discuss morals, Sy.
Sy: Up your hole with a Mello Roll, Alice! You too, Herb!

---

Leo Silver: [reading from the newspaper] "In response to the question, 'What were you doing in Central Park, in Bethesda Fountain, at 1 in the morning, naked?', Swann replied, 'The back stroke.'"

---

King Kaiser: They're not serving tongue at lunch today, are they Leo? No tongue on show day. Twice they served tongue on show day, twice the opening sketch died... . No tongue, get it? No tongue. Tongue, death... .

---

Stockbroker #1: [looking over the edge of the balcony] I think Alan Swann is beneath us!
Stockbroker #2: Of course he's beneath us. He's an actor!
Stockbroker #1: No! I think Alan Swann is beneath us right now!

---

Swann: [looking at a smashed liquor bottle] That's a sad sight!

---

Benjy Stone: What are you doing?
Alan Swann: Drinking and leaving!

---

Swann: [watching a movie] Oh, good God! It's Renfield! I thought he was dead!
[Renfield's character "dies" on screen]
Swann: Oh, yes! So he is!

---

Sy: Benjy, you want to see movies, get a job as an usher. The rest of us are here to write professional show-business comedy!
Herb Lee: [whispers to Alice]
Alice Miller: [to Sy, for Herb] In your case, semi-professional.

---

Alice Miller: Sy Benson: a tower of Jell-O.

---

King Kaiser: I don't know. He *is* a legend. One of the biggest stars ever. He's one of a kind. A guy like this is irreplaceable. Replace him, Leo.

---

Alan Swann: Who is that gorgeous-looking creature over there?
Maitre d': Oh, no, Mr. Swann. This is exactly the way it started last time.
Alan Swann: In that case, we'll just order dinner... . for now.

---

Sy: Leo, it gets me sick to think we gotta put up with some washed-up jaboni who's gonna be running around Central Park with his schlong hangin' out!
Alan Swann: My dear fellow, what I choose to do with my schlong is my business.
Sy: [who didn't know Swann had entered] How's business?
Alan Swann: Never better.

---

Alan Swann: [gazing deep into K.C's eyes] These eyes. They're Merle Oberon's eyes.
Benjy Stone: Merle Oberon's! Oh, and what's Merle doing for eyes? Using Katharine Hepburn's?

---

Alan Swann: Stone, women love to be intrigued. They enjoy unraveling the mystery that is man, but you must allow them the freedom to discover you.
Benjy Stone: Is that what you do?
Alan Swann: No. I don't have that luxury. The women who are interested in me know exactly who I am and what they want, and nine times out of ten, they get it.
Benjy Stone: That's some curse.
Alan Swann: You'd be surprised. You see, no matter what I do, I can never fulfill their expectations.

---

Benjy Stone: Doesn't Sy's office take on a whole different feeling at night?
K.C.: Yeah, it gets worse.

---

K.C.: Do you think there are funny people and not-funny people?
Benjy Stone: Yes. Definitely. On the funny side there are the Marx Brothers, except Zeppo; the Ritz Brothers, no exceptions; both Laurel *and* Hardy; and Woody Woodpecker. On the unfunny side there's anyone who has ever played the accordion professionally.

---

Alan Swann: Stone... . I'm afraid. I'm afraid. That's why I couldn't get out of the car to see my Tess, my child.
Benjy Stone: Alan Swann, afraid? The Defender of the Crown? Captain from Tortuga? The Last Knight of the Round Table?
Alan Swann: Those are movies, damn you! Look at me! I'm flesh and blood, life-size, no larger! I'm not that silly God-damned hero! I never was!
Alan Swann: To *me* you were! Whoever you were in those movies, those silly goddamn heroes meant a lot to *me*! What does it matter if it was an illusion? It worked! So don't tell me this is you life-size. I can't use you life-size. I need Alan Swanns as big as I can get them! And let me tell you something: you couldn't have convinced me the way you did unless somewhere in you you *had* that courage! Nobody's that good an actor! You *are* that silly goddamn hero!

---

Swann: Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

---

Related Links

Plot summary	Plot keywords	Amazon.com summary
User comments	Trivia	Goofs
Main details	IMDb quotes browser	Search quotes section
Browse titles with quotes by letter    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other

*