Sally Miles:
I am going to show my boobies. Are you here to see my boobies?
Agnes:
I mean, how erotic do you really want to go?
Felix Farmer:
Go, go, E-R-O-T-I-C! GO! GO!
Agnes:
Sally Miles, America's G-rated darling, in the B-U-F-F?
Felix Farmer:
Why not?
Agnes:
Ohhhh, Felix darling, some of her fans still don't think she goes to the bathroom!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Come to think of it, why should I give you a vitamin shot? I'm the one with the hangover. B-12, B-Complex, Crude Liver, and a generous jolt of adrenal cortex. Chased by a Bloody Mary. L'chaim! Now Lila, in order to inject this properly I have to expose my gluteus maximus.
Lila:
Want me to do it for ya?
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Are you perchance a nurse?
Lila:
No, but I used to be a junkie.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Would it endanger your amateur standing if I asked you to use a sterilized needle?
Lila:
You're the doctor.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week.
Tim Culley:
You stay in the car.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Who stay in the car?
Tim Culley:
Him. Stay in the car.
Ben Coogan:
I don't wanna stay in the car.
Tim Culley:
Look, we've got to be sly and stealthy, and you're too pissed.
Ben Coogan:
Bullshit, I can be just as sty and slealthy as you can.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Hello Polly.
Polly Reed:
Irving!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
You look like an anemic turtle.
Polly Reed:
You're gonna let that SHYSTER on?
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
I could sue you for calling me that, Polly! A shyster is a disreputable lawyer. I'M a QUACK!
Tim Culley:
It's been my experience that every time I think I know "where it's at," it's really somewhere else.
Nurse:
I'll see what I can do.
Polly Reed:
You'll do more than just see, missy! You'll do! See?
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
If he starts to levitate, don't panic; it's just a side-effect.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Is Batman a transvestite? Who knows?
Ben Coogan:
[
looking at Felix's corpse with a fishing rod in his hands] What if he catches something?
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
[
laughs]
Felix Farmer:
Sally Miles swears!
Felix Farmer:
Sally Miles says "shit"!
[
Polly Reed is about to enter through the back door]
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
This reminds me of a scene in "The Thing" when a terrible monster is just on the other side of a door.
Ben Coogan:
[
distressed] Will you please...
[
mumbles]
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
In the course of this evening, you have demonstrated most of your excremental bodily functions.
Ben Coogan:
You mean like a sneeze?
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
A sneeze is expiratory, not excremental.
Ben Coogan:
I'm going to throw up.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Ah! The last of your excremental bodily functions!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Somebody left a faucet running...
Ben Coogan:
I'm peeing!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Into what?
Ben Coogan:
My pants!
[
after placing Felix's corpse in the back seat of a convertible]
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
He'd be less conspicuous if he had his eyes open.
Ben Coogan:
He'd be less conspicuous if he was back in his box!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
Felix bought this boat for Sally for their 14th wedding anniversary. He's only been on her once or twice since.
Ben Coogan:
No wonder they were having problems.
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
For buying her a boat?
Ben Coogan:
Well, he's only been on her once or twice since!
Dr. Irving Finegarten:
On the *boat*!
Sally Miles:
[
High on muscle relaxers] Oh... Hi, Polly. Come to see my boobies?
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