[
after sex]
Robot:
Earth women who experience sexual ecstasy with mechanical assistance always tend to feel guilty!
Harry Canyon:
Ah, kiss my ass!
Hooker:
I will for twenty bucks.
Zeks:
Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight.
Taarak the Defender:
To defend: this is the pact. But when life loses its meaning and is taken for naught, then the pact is to avenge!
Den:
There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out!
Den:
Wow, nothing for 18 years and then twice in one day.
Harry Canyon:
This dame was going for broke. And I was giving her the stars and stripes forever.
Ard:
If you refuse, you die; she dies; everybody dies!
Desk Sergeant:
Before you go any further, pal, I gotta tell ya it's cash up front. A thousand bucks a day for a full investigation, another thou' if the assailant is caught. Do you understand?
Harry Canyon:
Yeah. Hey, here's a dollar. Thanks for nothin'.
Desk Sergeant:
Think you can do better?... Punk.
Harry Canyon:
The U.N. Building. What a joke! They turned it into low rent housing. It's a dump.
[
first lines]
Narrator:
A shadow shall fall over the universe, and evil will grow in its path, and death will come from the skies.
Hanover Fiste:
He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous perverted worm! Hanging's too good for him. Burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!
Stern:
Take it easy Charlie. I've got an angle.
Edsel:
The first Earth chick we see in 10 years and he has to make a play for her.
Gloria:
I'm just scared I'll come home one day and find you screwing the toaster.
Zeks:
Hey, do we have any of that Plutonian Nyborg left?
Edsel:
Uh, yeah. Just one bag. Uh, it's in the transmitter compartment.
Zeks:
Thanks, man.
Zeks:
Oh, great. Think this is enough?
Edsel:
Uhh... nah. Go for broke.
Zeks:
Good thinking, man.
Zeks, Edsel:
Nose dive!
Hanover Fiste:
He never did... anything that was... illegal...
[
pauses]
Hanover Fiste:
Unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.
[
looking at a beautiful, naked woman with huge breasts]
Den:
[
voiceover] She had the most beautiful eyes. I wanted to make some conversation.
Barbarian Leader:
[
gloating over Taarna, who is bound naked to a torture rack] So this is the Taarakian. Somehow, I thought it would be more difficult to capture a Taarakian.
the Loc-Nar:
[
the fifth story, "So Beautiful, So Dangerous" ends. the space station fades away] My stories are almost over. I have chosen you because you are the future who could destroy me. With your death, I break the chain for all time. Look into me, one final time. See my evil destroy your race. Then prepare to die.
[
the final story, "Taarna" begins]
the Loc-Nar:
[
Den and Catharine fly off, ending the second story. the Loc-Nar breaks out of the scepter] Even when someone has the strength to discard me, my power is not diminished.
[
the orb rises through the air and into a space station. a hand picks it up off the floor]
the Loc-Nar:
Someone always finds me.
[
the third story, "Captain Sternn" begins]
the Loc-Nar:
[
Hanover's hand rots away while it holds the orb] Very few escape my grasp.
[
the sky cuts to a group of army planes]
the Loc-Nar:
Even in death, my powers continue.
[
the fourth story, "B-17" begins]
the Loc-Nar:
[
the first story, "Harry Canyon" ends] You've had your first lesson, young one. My evil corrupts the most innocent. I've chosen you because you possess powers you do not yet understand. look again. Look deep into me. In some worlds, I'm worshiped as God.
[
the second story begins, "Den"]
Girl:
[
the astronaut comes home with a grey box. he is greeted by his daughter] What did you bring me?
Grimaldi:
You'll see.
[
the astronaut goes into the parlor. his daughter follows]
Girl:
[
she runs after him] Wait, wait for me. What is it?
the Loc-Nar:
[
the astronaut opens the box and a green orb rises out. it hovers in front of him for a second, then destroys his body in a gooey mass of flesh and bone. it evaporates quickly into nothing. the orb confronts the girl] Do not try to escape. You are in my control. Look at me: I am the sum of all evils. Look carefully. My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions. But many still seek me out; a green jewel they must possess. But see how I destroy their lives.
[
the screen cuts to the first story]
Prosecutor:
Are you Captain Lincoln F. Sternn?
Stern:
I am.
Prosecutor:
Lincoln Stern, you stand here acused of 12 counts of murder in the first degree, 14 counts of armed theft of Federation property, 22 counts of piracy in high space, 18 counts of fraud, 37 counts of rape and one moving violation. How do you plead?
Stern:
Not guilty.
Barbarian Leader:
Death to all who oppose us!
Related Links
*
