Up the Academy (1980)

User Rating:

4.0/10   

Director:

Robert Downey Sr.

Writers:

Tom Patchett (writer) &
Jay Tarses (writer)

Genre:

Comedy

Tagline:

The education they got wasn't in books.

Plot:

This puber-comedy is a kind of mixture between 'Animal House' and 'Police Academy'. Four boys are sent...

Plot Keywords:

Military School | Mad Magazine | Spoof | Box Office Flop | Magazine Tie In

Cast

Wendell Brown	...	Ike
Tommy Citera	...	Hash
Hutch Parker	...	Oliver (as J. Hutchison)
Ralph Macchio	...	Chooch
Harry Teinowitz	...	Rodney Ververgaert
Tom Poston	...	Sisson
Ian Wolfe	...	Commandant Causeway
Antonio Fargas	...	Coach
Stacey Nelkin	...	Candy
Barbara Bach	...	Bliss
Leonard Frey	...	Keck
Luke Andreas	...	Vitto
Candy Ann Brown	...	Nubia
King Coleman	...	Rev. MacArthur
Rosalie Citera	...	Mrs. Bombalazzi

Also Known As:

Mad Magazine Presents Up the Academy
Mad Magazine's Up the Academy
The Brave Young Men of Weinberg

Runtime:

87 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color (Technicolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Certification:

Iceland:12 | Australia:M | USA:R | Canada:18+ (Quebec) | Canada:AA (Ontario)

Filming Locations:

Salina, Kansas, USA

Company:

Warner Bros. Pictures

Trivia:

The role of Col. Bliss was originally written for 'Robyn Hilton (I)'. Early drafts of the script, with Hilton in mind, gave the Bliss character a lot more lines. Writers also wrote several semi nude and topless that would have played on Hilton's physique. The character was meant to be a sexual distraction for the Ike character. Early drafts of the synopsis described it this way: "Bliss catches Ike peeping on her in the shower. She asks Ike to meet her in her quarters. To relax, Ike smokes a joint. Bliss catches him. She expresses an interest in him as well. They arrange a late night sexual rendezvous but every time they plan to get together, something happens which prevents them to consummate their scandalous affair. Finally, during the climax of the movie, Bliss and Ike manage to sneak away and, in the midst of all the craziness, consummate their affair with wild, animal, hilarious passion." Hilton read the script and passed. Studio heads were not happy with the idea of a student having sex with a teacher. The Bliss role was scaled back. Writers left the attraction in but eliminated all of the raciness and nudity.

Goofs:

Continuity: Rodney waits until his bunkmates are asleep, then runs off to tell Liceman about their plans. On his way out, he falls off the porch steps into the bushes, and his hat flies off. He gets up, and continues on his way, leaving his hat in the bushes. In the next scene, he has his hat back.

Quotes:

Chooch: What does Leisman want more than anything else?
Hash: My balls!
Ike: My soul!
Oliver: My ass!

Soundtrack:

We Live For Love

"It's like a gas leak"

That's what my friend Brian said about this movie after about an hour of it. He wasn't able to keep from dozing off. I had been ranting about how execrable it was and finally I relented and played it, having run out of adjectives for "boring".

Imagine if you will, the pinnacle of hack-work. Something so uninspired, so impossibly dreadful, that all you want to do after viewing it is sit alone in the dark and not speak to anybody. Some people labor under the illusion that this movie is watchable. It is not, not under any form of narcotic or brain damage. I would ONLY recommend this to someone in order to help them understand how truly unbearable it is. Don't believe me? Gather 'round.

Granted, as a nation, we in America don't always portray Middle Eastern peoples in a tasteful manner. But how about a kid in a sheik outfit bowing in salaam-fashion to a stack of Castrol motor oil bottles? You'll find that here. GET IT? THE ARAB WORSHIPS OIL. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Having the kid fly planes into a skyscraper would've been more appropriate. Who in their right mind would think that was a funny joke? It's not even close to "cleverly offensive". It just sucks and makes you want to punch whomever got paid to write that bit in the face.

In the middle of the film, a five-man singing group called the "Landmines" takes the stage at an officers' ball. Okay- are you ready? The joke is THEY SING TERRIBLY AND OFF-KEY. Why did I write that in caps also? Because the joke is POUND, POUND, POUNDED INTO YOUR HEAD with a marathon of HORRENDOUS sight gags. They start off mediocre enough; glasses cracking, punch tumblers shattering... then there is, I am 100% serious, a two-frame stop-motion sequence of A WOMAN'S SHOES COMING OFF. You read that correctly- the music was so bad, in one frame, the woman's feet have shoes on. In the very next- the shoes are off!!! Get it, because the music was so bad, her shoes came off! What the F????

Then there is an endless montage of stock footage to drive home the point that the SINGING IS BAD. If any human being actually suffered through this scene in the theater without running like hell, I would be astonished. This movie is honestly like a practical joke to see how fast people would bolt out the doors. Robert Downey Sr. directs comedy the way his son commands respect by staying drug-free. Badly. Other things to watch out for:

1. The popular music shoehorned in wherever possible. Every time Liceman appears, a really inappropriate Iggy Pop song plays. Plus all the actors do their best to act like it got really chilly for some reason.

2. Barbara Bach's criminally awful accent. She sounds like she's trying to talk like a baby while rolling a marble around on her tongue. There is no nudity, and there are several scenes where the boys all moan and writhe from a glimpse of her cleavage, like they're in a community school acting class and they've been directed to act like aroused retarded people.

3. Liceman feeds his revolting dog a condom. Remember; when this movie came out throwing in "abortion" and "condom" was seen as "edgy".

4. Tom Poston plays a mincing, boy-hungry pedophile, back when Hollywood thought "pedophile" and "homosexual" were one in the same. Flat-out embarrassing.

5. Watch the ending. Nothing is wrong with your VCR. That is actually the ending. Tell me that doesn't make you want to explode everyone who's ever made any movie, ever.

Watch this at your own risk. Up The Academy has been known to actually make other movies, like The Jerk or Blazing Saddles, less funny simply by placing the videotape near them.