Starcrash (1978)

Director:

Luigi Cozzi

Writers:

Luigi Cozzi (screenplay) &
Nat Wachsberger (screenplay) ...

Release Date:

9 March 1979 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Adventure | Fantasy | Sci-Fi

Tagline:

The ultimate inter-galactic adventure

Plot:

Epic action in outer space when the good guys set out to track the evil Count's secret weapon.

Plot Keywords:

Beautiful Woman | Good Versus Evil | Infra Red | Laser Gun | Psychotronic

Awards:

1 nomination

Cast

Marjoe Gortner	...	Akton
Caroline Munro	...	Stella Star
Christopher Plummer	...	The Emperor
David Hasselhoff	...	Simon
Robert Tessier	...	Thor
Joe Spinell	...	Count Zarth Arn
Nadia Cassini	...	Corelia, Queen of the Amazons
Judd Hamilton	...	Elle / Jiakta
Hamilton Camp	...	Elle (voice: English version)

Also Known As:

Female Space Invaders
Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione (Italy)
Star Battle Encounters (Philippines: English title)
Star Crash (USA) (poster title)
Starcrash (International: English title)
Stella Star
The Adventures of Stella Star (USA)

Runtime:

USA:92 min | Italy:94 min

Country:

USA | Italy

Language:

English | Italian

Color:

Color (Technicolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Certification:

Finland:K-12 | USA:PG | UK:PG (video rating) | UK:A (original rating)

Filming Locations:

Cinecittà Studios, Cinecittà, Rome, Lazio, Italy

Trivia:

The spaceship in the opening sequence bears the name Murray Leinster, after the Science Fiction writer and special effect pioneer of the same name.

Goofs:

Factual errors: When going into hyperspace for the first time, Akton gives the probabilities of various catastrophes happening to the ship - 40% total disintegration, 30% molecular ignition, 20% gamma contamination - from which Stella concludes that they have a 10% chance of survival. In fact, if these are independent events then the overall probability would be calculated by multiplying the probabilities of surviving each one - which would be 60% x 70% x 80%, giving 33.6%.

Quotes:

L: Circuits don't fail me now!

Movie Connections:

References Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam (1920)

What the...? Who? What just happened then? Eh?

I thought I had seen the worst space movie made in recent years when I saw Space Mutiny, how innocent it all seems looking back after just watching Starcrash. This has to be the worst acted, worst written, most poorly edited movie I have seen in years. The special effects deserve a mention, because they aren't. It's amazing to me that this piece of fetid crud came out 2 years after Star Wars had shifted the goalposts.

The best thing about the models is sitting spotting which bits came from where, they're made with sprues from model kits with all the parts still attached so nerds can see bits of Space 1999 eagles, the Nostromo, Saturn V rockets, aircraft wheels, etc. Dire! The space battles between lumpy bits of model kits are so poorly made and edited that it's impossible to follow what's going on. Certainly the actors and director couldn't, I lost count of the continuity errors during those sequences.

As for the actors and acting, Caroline Munro and Marjoe Gortner pull some damn funny faces, and frankly I could watch Caroline mince around in her various space bikinis all day, but she will keep trying to act. Disaster! I wonder if Christopher Plummer even lists this one on his resume, but you can bet David Hasselhoff has it near the top of his. I hate to say it, but apart from Caroline Munros legs he's the best thing in the film. Now that's a bad movie.

I honestly don't know how they made this, they obviously watched Star Wars because they blatantly rip it off for most of their plot, designs, names and so forth, but never noticed that that movie had real actors, good writing and amazing effects. Darth Zarn... sorry, Zarth Arn the bad guy makes Ming the Merciless look like a taut, underplayed role, and the whole major fight sequence where men in torpedoes are shot through the windows of his space ship to fight his minions is incredible. Never mind calling soldiers, you want a good glazier to stop the air blasting out, surely?

I give in, this movie sucked far harder than any vacuum I have ever seen. It's a cheapo rip-off of Star Wars mixed with Barbarella and if it wasn't for a babe in the title role no one would watch more than a few minutes of this dross. A new low, really low. Funny, but low.