Deadly Weapons (1974)

User Rating:

2.4/10   

Director:

Doris Wishman

Writer:

Judy J. Kushner (writer)

Release Date:

April 1974 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Crime | Drama

Tagline:

Seeing is Believing! 73-32-36!

Plot:

After the mob hits a guy with a list, one of the hoods keeps the list for himself to blackmail the people on it...

Plot Keywords:

Suffocation | Buxom | Exploitation | Large Breasts | Nipples

Cast

Chesty Morgan	...	Crystal (as Zsa Zsa)
Harry Reems	...	Tony (as Harry Reemes)
Richard Towers	...	Larry (as Greg Reynolds)
Saul Meth	...	Nick / Talent Agent
Phillip Stahl	...	Crystal's father
Mitchell Fredericks
Denise Purcell	...	Eve
John McMohon

Runtime:

75 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Belgium:KNT | UK:18 (video rating) (1987) (cut) | UK:18 (video re-rating) (2003) (uncut) | UK:X (original rating) (cut) | Finland:(Banned) (1975) | USA:R | Australia:R | Germany:BPjM Restricted

Company:

Juri Productions

Trivia:

Shot in 1970.

Goofs:

Continuity: After Eve is strangled with a necktie, the killer retrieves his tie and starts to put it back on. However, in the next close-up of the victim, the tie is still around her neck.

Movie Connections:

Featured in Serial Mom (1994)

Caucasian: Male. Cause of death: suffocated by FF-watermelons…

"Deadly Weapons", along with its sequel/cash-in "Double Agent 73", is pretty much the absolute lowest type of cinema, yet there isn't a single exploitation or cult freak out there that can afford him or herself to miss it. Go figure! This is an awful, awful movie that makes the repertoire of such questionable directors like Edward D. Wood, Bill Rebane or Andy Milligan look like genuine masterpieces, but it's definitely a curiosity to have in your collection and undeniably entertaining, BECAUSE it's so inept. Even the world's biggest bonehead knows that everything exclusively centers on Chesty Morgan's extremely over-sized (and terribly UN-sexy) balcony, yet Doris Wishman somehow attempts to make her film look like an emotional and involving revenge/drama. This makes "Deadly Weapons" even worse and a lot more pathetic than its successor "Double Agent 73"! At least that movie openly portrayed Chesty as a cheap sleaze-object and even had her jugs function as spy cameras! In "Deadly Weapons", they want us to believe her character Crystal is a tender, good-hearted and moreover intelligent – at one point it's mentioned she's the successful manager of an advertisement agency – woman, devastated over the death of her thug-boyfriend and on a mission to avenge him. She overhears the conversation between the two petty criminals that killed her lover Larry (one of them is Harry Reems!) and promptly decides to kill them. Crystal uses her charm (?) to seduce them and her humongous breasts to suffocate them. Just when she thinks justice prevailed, poor little Crystal faces the ultimate disappointment… This motion picture can only be described as a total and utter travesty, albeit a fun one. Even though it only runs for a good 75 minutes, half of the film is pure padding (Chesty taking an extended bath, Chesty sleeping naked, some random girl swimming naked…) and totally lacks direction and acting talent. This is more than just "bad 70's cinema"… This is an oddity that needs to be seen to be believed. Don't allow the 1/10 rating to put you off of seeing it.