Memorable quotes for
"Star Trek" (1966)

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[Opening narration]
Capt. Kirk: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

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McCoy: Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

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Capt. Kirk: All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll see about you deserting my ship.
Spock: The term "half-breed" is somewhat applicable, but "computerized" is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man.
Capt. Kirk: What makes you think you're a man? You're an overgrown jackrabbit. An elf with a hyperactive thyroid.
Spock: Jim, I don't understand...
Capt. Kirk: Of course you don't understand. You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.
Spock: Captain, if you will excuse me.
[Tries to activate the transporter]
Capt. Kirk: [blocks Spock's way and interupts] What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia.
Spock: My mother was a teacher. My father an ambassador.
Capt. Kirk: Your father was a computer, like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity...
Spock: Captain, please don't...
Capt. Kirk: You're a traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core. Rotten! Like the rest of your subhuman race. And you've got the GALL... to make love to that girl!
Spock: That's enough.
Capt. Kirk: Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom? Instead of passing himself off as a man? You belong in the circus, Spock, not a starship. Right next to the dog face boy!
[Spock begins beating the stew out of Kirk - he picks up a stool, ready to hit Kirk, then stops - the spore's influence is gone]
Capt. Kirk: Had enough? I never realized what it took to get under that thick hide of yours. Anyhow, I don't know what you're so mad about. It isn't every first officer who gets to belt his captain... several times.
Spock: You did that to me deliberately.
Capt. Kirk: Believe me, Mr. Spock. It was painful. In more ways than one.
[Grabs his hurting arm]
Spock: The spores. They're gone. I don't belong anymore.
Capt. Kirk: You said they were benevolent and peaceful. Violent emotions overwhelm them, destroy them. I had to make you angry enough to shake off their influence. That's the answer, Mr. Spock.
Spock: That may be correct, Captain, but trying to initiate a brawl with over 500 crewmen and colonists is hardly logical.
Capt. Kirk: I had something else in mind. Can you put together a subsonic transmitter? Something we can hook into the communication station and broadcast over the communicators?
Spock: It can be done.
Capt. Kirk: Good. Let's get to work.
Spock: Captain! Striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense.
Capt. Kirk: Well, if we're both in the brig, who's gonna build the subsonic transmitter?
Spock: That is quite logical, Captain.

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Spock: I fail to comprehend your indignation, sir. I have simply made the logical deduction that you are a liar.

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Capt. Kirk: This is a mystery, and I don't like mysteries. They give me a bellyache, and I've got a beauty right now.

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McCoy: I'm not a magician, Spock; just an old country doctor.
Spock: Yes. As I always suspected.

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Spock: While there was a chance, I was bound legally and morally to ascertain the Captain's status.
McCoy: You mean, to make sure he was dead.

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Spock: Random chance seems to have operated in our favor.
McCoy: In plain non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.
Spock: I believe I have said that, doctor.

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Capt. Kirk: Spock, the women on your planet are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim.

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McCoy: Medical men are trained in logic.
Spock: Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error.

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Scotty: Thank Heavens.
Spock: Mr. Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.
McCoy: Well, then thank pitchforks and pointy ears.

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Spock: "Fascinating" is a word I use for the unexpected. "Interesting" shall suffice here.

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Spock: Congratulations on a dazzling display of logic.
Capt. Kirk: Didn't think I had it in me, did you?
Spock: No.

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Spock: It would be interesting to impress your memory engrams on a computer, doctor. The resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining.

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Dr. McCoy: Your pulse is two hundred and forty-two. Your blood pressure is practically non-existent; assuming you call that green stuff in your veins blood.
Spock: The readings are perfectly normal for me, Doctor, thank you. And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted.

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[Spock and Dr. McCoy are locked in a prison cell]
McCoy: Spock, er, I know we've, er, had our disagreements. Er, maybe they're jokes, I don't know. As Jim says, we're not often sure ourselves sometimes. But, er... what I'm trying to say is...
Spock: Doctor, I am seeking a means of escape. Will you please be brief?
McCoy: What I'm trying to say is, you saved my life in the arena.
Spock: Yes, that's quite true.
McCoy: [Indignant] I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!
Spock: Oh yes, you humans have that emotional need to express gratitude. "You're welcome", I believe is the correct response.

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Bones: You have a point, Spock?
Spock: Yes, doctor, always.

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Spock: Captain, I'm beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling. No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain - exhilaration in the risk.
Capt. Kirk: Very good, Spock. We may make a human of you yet.
Spock: I hope not.

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Bones: Hope? I always thought that was a human failing, Mr. Spock.
Spock: Quite true, doctor. Constant exposure does result in a certain degree of - contamination.

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Capt. Kirk: Another technical journal, Scotty?
Scotty: Aye.
Capt. Kirk: Don't you ever relax?
Scotty: I am relaxing.

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Bones: You know why you're not afraid to die, Spock? You're more afraid of living. Each day you stay alive is just one more day you might slip and let your human half peek out. That's it, isn't it? Insecurity. Why you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine warm decent feeling.
Spock: Really, doctor?
Bones: I know. I'm worried about Jim too.

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Spock: That sound was the turbulence caused by the penetration of a boundary layer, captain.
Capt. Kirk: What boundary layer?
Spock: Unknown.
Capt. Kirk: A boundary layer between what and what?
Spock: Between where we were and where we are.
Capt. Kirk: Are you trying to be funny, Mr Spock?
Spock: It would never occur to me, captain.

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Capt. Kirk: Spock, give me an update on the dark area ahead.
Spock: No analysis due to insufficient information.
Capt. Kirk: No speculation, no information, nothing? I've asked you three times for information on that thing and you've been unable to supply it. Insufficient information is not sufficient, Mr Spock! You're the science officer. You're supposed to have sufficient data all the time.

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Uhura: Mr Spock, sometimes I think if I hear that word frequency once more I'll cry.
Spock: Cry?
Uhura: I was just trying to start a conversation.
Spock: Well, since it is illogical for a communications officer to resent the word 'frequency', I have no answer.
Uhura: No, you have an answer. I'm an illogical women whose beginning to feel too much part of that communications consul. Why don't you tell me I'm an attractive young lady or ask me if I've ever been in love? Tell me how your planet Vulcan looks on a lazy evening when the moon is full.
Spock: Vulcan has no moon, Ms Uhuru.
Uhura: I'm not surprised, Mr Spock.

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Spock: Frankly, I was rather dismayed by your use of the term "half-breed", captain. You must admit it is an unsophisticated expression.
Capt. Kirk: I'll remember that, Mr Spock. The next time I find myself in a similar situation.

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Dr. McCoy: You listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan.
Spock: [grabbing McCoy] I don't like that. I don't think I ever did and now I'm sure!

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Elias Sandoval: Well, doctor. I've been thinking about what sort of work I could assign you to.
McCoy: [annoyed] What do you mean "what sort of work"? I'm a doctor!
Elias Sandoval: Not anymore, of course. We don't need you, not as a doctor.
McCoy: [stands up] Oh no. Would you like to see just how fast I can put you in a hospital?
Elias Sandoval: I am the leader of this colony. I'll assign you to whatever work I think is suitable!
[begins to walk away]
McCoy: Just a minute!
[grabs Sandoval]
McCoy: Better make me a mechanic! Then I can treat little tin cods like you!
Elias Sandoval: [swings at McCoy - McCoy blocks and punches Sandoval in the stomach. Sandoval doubles over and falls to the ground] Sorry, Sandoval. I don't know what made me do that.
Elias Sandoval: [Sandoval is now free of the spore influence as is McCoy. Sandoval realizes finally what has happened] We've done nothing here. No accomplishments, no progress. Three years wasted. We wanted to make this planet a garden!
McCoy: You can't stay here. You can't survive without the spores. After you've cleared at the starbase, you could be relocated. It depends on what you want.
Elias Sandoval: I think I'd - I think we'd like to get some work done. The work we started out to do.

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Chekov: Scotch was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.

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Bones: I'm a doctor, NOT an engineer.
Scotty: NOW you're an engineer.

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Dr. McCoy: "He's dead, Jim."

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McCoy: Spock, I don't agree with you at all.
Spock: That's not unusual, Doctor.

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McCoy: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land someplace and say "Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel."
Spock: I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor.
McCoy: Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mr. Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork...

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McCoy: In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that... and perhaps more, only one of each of us.

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Capt. Kirk: Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien life-forms. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as 'the unknown,' only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.

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James T. Kirk: There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere...

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Scotty: On Earth, we have a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Chekov: I know this saying. It was invented in Russia.

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[In a room alone, talking to the ceiling]
Capt. Kirk: Never lose you. Never.

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[Discussing Kirk's "intuition" with Doctor McCoy]
Spock: I *note* it doctor, without understanding it.

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Bones: Spock, I've found that evil usually triumphs... unless good is very, very careful.

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Capt. Kirk: We may go in the biggest explosion in those parts since the last star exploded, but we've got to take that one in ten thousand chance.

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Spock: Doctor, you may yet cure the common cold.

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[Away Team on shuttle discussing there futile situation]
Scotty: Mr. Spock, a while a go you said that there were always possibilities?
Spock: Did I? I might have errored.
McCoy: Well at least I'll live long enough to hear that.

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McCoy: God forbid I should agree with Spock, but he was right.

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Capt. Kirk: Mr. Spock, you'd make a wonderful computer.
Spock: [taken aback] That is *very* kind of you sir.

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Capt. Kirk: A dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars.

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Captain Kirk: You were actually enjoying that predicament back there. At times you seem quite human.
Spock: Captain, I hardly believe that insults are in your line as my commanding officer.

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Capt. Kirk: Matt... Where's your crew?
Matt Decker: On the third planet...
Capt. Kirk: There is no third planet!
Matt Decker: [anguished] Don't you think I know that? There was! But not anymore! They called me... they begged me for help... four hundred of them... I couldn't... I... I couldn't
[breaks down]

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Bones: [to himself] If I jumped every time a light came on around here, I'd end up talking to myself.

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Bones: What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?

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Capt. Kirk: I said get back to your station.
Lt. Leslie: No, sir.
Capt. Kirk: This is mutiny, mister.
Lt. Leslie: Yes, sir. It is.

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Spock: Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.
McCoy: You admit that?
Spock: To deny the facts would be illogical, doctor.

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Capt. Kirk: [to communicator] Kirk to Enterprise.
Scotty: Enterprise, Scott here, sir.
Capt. Kirk: [talking like a Chicago mobster] You got Krako on ice?
Scotty: Aye, he's here. Mad enough to chew neutronium, but behaving himself.
Capt. Kirk: OK, baby, cool him until I flag you.
Scotty: Flag me?
Capt. Kirk: [normal voice] Keep him there until I send for him.
[as mobster]
Capt. Kirk: We're gonna make some old-style phone calls from this locale. So you locate the man on the other end of the blower and give him a ride to this flop.
Scotty: What?
Capt. Kirk: [normal] Find the man on the other end of the phone, and transport him to these coordinates.
[as mobster]
Capt. Kirk: Can do, sweetheart?
Scotty: Can do, captain.

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[Spock is sharing his brain with an alien, with whom he mind-melded]
Spock: This is delightful! I know you! All of you! James Kirk, captain and friend for many years. And Leonard McCoy, ha-ha, also of long acquaintance. And Uhura, whose name means "freedom". She walks in beauty like the night.
McCoy: [to Kirk] That's not Spock!
Spock: Are you surprised to find that I read Byron, doctor?
McCoy: That's Spock!

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[Scotty volunteers to be a test subject for Spock's improvised tranquillizer grenade]
Scotty: [picks up glass of bourbon] It's to kill the pain.
[empties glass]
Spock: But this is painless.
Scotty: [gulps] Well, you should have warned me sooner, Mr. Spock. Fire away!
[Spock activates the grenade, but Scotty shows no reaction to the escaping gas]
McCoy: It should have worked! Did you inhale the gas, Scotty?
Scotty: Aye! Deeply!
McCoy: Do you still feel all right?
Scotty: Never felt better!

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[A war-loving alien causes the Enterprise crew to experience aggressive feelings]
Spock: Take it easy, Mr. Scott.
Scotty: Keep your Vulcan hands off me! Just keep away! Your feelings might be hurt, you green-blooded half-breed!
Spock: May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant.
Scotty: Then transfer out, freak!

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[a nearby spacial phenomenon caused McCoy to have a sudden emotional outburst against Spock]
McCoy: It must be this space, it's getting to me too, I... I know it's nothing you've done, Spock, I... I'm sorry.
Spock: I understand, doctor. I'm sure the Captain would simply have said: Forget it, Bones.

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Capt. Kirk: Well, this is an Enterprise first! Dr McCoy, Mr Spock and Engineer Scott find themselves in complete agreement! Can I stand the strain?

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Spock: I've never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.

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McCoy: Saurian brandy, one hundred years old. Jim?
Capt. Kirk: Please.
McCoy: Mr Spock, I know you won't have one. Heaven forbid those mathematically perfect brainwaves be corrupted by this all too human vice.
Spock: Thank you, doctor, I will have a brandy.
[Kirk and McCoy look at each other in amazement]
McCoy: [to Kirk] Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan? Once alcohol hits that green blood....

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McCoy: [to Spock] You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him
[referring to Kirk]
McCoy: , because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures and the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book. Good night, Spock.

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Spock: Do you know what it is, Captain?
Capt. Kirk: [referring to the lethal gaseous entity] Something that can't possibly exist... but it does.
[looks on to dead crewmen sprawled on the ground]

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Spock: [the Enterprise has detonated a missile launched at them from a nearby planet] Fascinating. A thermonuclear warhead.
McCoy: That's generations ahead of where these people should be technically. How did they manage that?
Capt. Kirk: Maybe they had help.
[referring to a picture of John Gill, a Federation member the Enterprise has been sent to locate]

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