Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

User Rating:

2.2/10   

Director:

Nicholas Webster

Writers:

Paul L. Jacobson (story)
Glenville Mareth (writer)

Release Date:

14 November 1964 (USA)

Genre:

Family | Fantasy | Sci-Fi

Tagline:

Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Science-Fun-Fiction at its height!

Plot:

The Martians kidnap Santa because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.

Plot Keywords:

Children | Martian | Mars | Christmas | Santa Claus

Cast

John Call	...	Santa Claus
Leonard Hicks	...	Kimar
Vincent Beck	...	Voldar
Bill McCutcheon	...	Dropo
Victor Stiles	...	Billy
Donna Conforti	...	Betty
Chris Month	...	Bomar
Pia Zadora	...	Girmar
Leila Martin	...	Momar
Charles Renn	...	Hargo
James Cahill	...	Rigna
Ned Wertimer	...	Andy Henderson
Doris Rich	...	Mrs. Claus
Carl Don	...	Chochem / Von Green
Ivor Bodin	...	Winky
Al Nesor	...	Stobo
Josip Elic	...	Shim (as Joe Elic)
Jim Bishop	...	Lomas
Lin Thurmond	...	Children TV Announcer
Don Blair	...	TV News Announcer
Tony Ross	...	Santa's Helper
Scott Aronesty	...	Santa's Helper
Ronnie Rotholz	...	Santa's Helper
Glenn Schaffer	...	Santa's Helper
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Gene Lindsey	...	Polar Bear (uncredited)

Directed by
Nicholas Webster

Writing credits (in alphabetical order)
Paul L. Jacobson		story
Glenville Mareth		writer

Produced by
Paul L. Jacobson	....	producer
Arnold Leeds	....	associate producer
Joseph E. Levine	....	executive producer

Original Music by
Milton Delugg

Cinematography by
David L. Quaid

Film Editing by
William Henry		(as Bill Henry)

Art Direction by
Maurice Gordon

Set Decoration by
John K. Wright III		(as John K. Wright 3rd)

Costume Design by
Ramsey Mostoller

Makeup Department
George Fiala	....	makeup artist

Production Management
Arnold Leeds	....	production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Gerry Rich	....	assistant director

Art Department
Frank Hoch	....	scenic artist
Edward Swanson	....	head carpenter
John Wright Jr.	....	property master (as John K. Wright Jr.)

Sound Department
Dennis Maitland	....	sound mixer (as Dennis L. Maitland)

Camera and Electrical Department
Duke Brady	....	special lighting effects
Richard Falk	....	gaffer
Martin Nallan	....	key grip
Michael Zingale	....	camera operator

Costume and Wardrobe Department
Virginia Schreiber	....	wardrobe mistress

Editorial Department
Anthony Termini	....	supervising editor

Music Department
Nick Tagg	....	music coordinator

Other crew
Fritz Hansen	....	martian furniture
Marguerite James	....	script supervisor
Robert Rosenthal	....	production controller
Brett Webster	....	technical advisor (uncredited)

Production Companies

• Jalor Productions

Distributors

• Embassy Pictures Corporation (1964) (USA) (theatrical)
• Delta Expedition (2002) (USA) (DVD)
• Alpha Video Distributors (2004) (USA) (DVD)
• Reel Media International (2004) (worldwide) (VHS)
• EastWest Entertainment (2005) (USA) (DVD) (as "Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens")
• Firebox (2007) (Finland) (DVD)
• Mill Creek Entertainment (2007) (USA) (DVD)
• Reel Media International (2007) (worldwide) (all media)
• Something Weird Video (SWV) (????) (USA) (VHS)
• Valley Star Video (????) (USA) (VHS) (as "Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens")
• Yleisradio (YLE) (2007) (Finland) (TV)

Special Effects

• Haberstroh Studios

Other Companies

• Alan Shane Associates  casting
• Dawson of N.Y.C.  tower of crystal fountain
• L & L Animation  titles
• Louis Marx & Co.  special toys
• Michael Myerburg Studios  studio
• Vogue Dolls Inc.  dolls

Also Known As:

Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens (video title)

Runtime:

81 min | USA:86 min (DVD)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color (Pathécolor)

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Canada:G (Manitoba/Quebec) | Canada:PG (Nova Scotia) (2002) | Canada:PG (Ontario) | UK:U (video rating) | USA:Unrated (2005 DVD release) | Australia:PG | USA:Not Rated

Filming Locations:

Roosevelt Field, Garden City, Long Island, New York, USA

Company:

Jalor Productions

Trivia:

Was made "popular" following its critique on the program "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (1988).

Goofs:

Factual errors: In the beginning credits, instead of costume designer, it says "custume designer".

Quotes:

TV News Announcer: [News report after Santas disappearance] And mrs Claus has positively identified the kidnapers as martians.

Movie Connections:

Featured in The Fly Papers: The Buzz on Hollywood's Scariest Insect (2000) (TV)

Soundtrack:

Horray For Santa Claus

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians... and our hearts.

I really enjoy this silly little holiday flick. A bunch of serious Martian adults are afraid that their serious Martian children are too serious, so they go to a serious Martian senior citizen. The old guy tells them that the children need to be taught how to laugh, and then he explodes for no reason. The only logical thing left to do, of course, is go to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus, who we meet as he is being interviewed by the Rip Taylor-like Andy Anderson. I liked how in the movie's universe, Santa is unquestionably real and everyone knows about him. He really does deliver toys to everyone, toys made by a dozen elves (who all look like they're suffering from mini-seasonal depression). One toy shown is a toy rocket that runs on "real rocket fuel", Santa proudly explains. I would ask, "Where do little kids get rocket fuel?" The details of Santa's amazingly speedy mass distribution methods are not brought up, but it's probably black magic-related.

The Martians nab Kris Kringle and two little Earth children, who seem to live alone in the woods with no parents or family but are clean and well fed. The Martian leader forces Santa and the children to run their soulless toy machine (Soulless Toy Machine would be a good name for a band). Despite the numerous violations of human rights, it's all in good fun and everybody is nice and happy, except for one mean Martian (with a disturbing droopy mustache and a sidekick that looks like Jamie Farr) who plots to kidnap Santa (even though he's already been kidnapped). Santa encourages the kids, even the Martian kids who have now learned to have fun, to hurl lots of heavy mid-sixties toys at the bad guy's skulls. Through this display of parental negligence and bad music the evil is thwarted, and Santa is permitted to go back to Earth, letting the mewling half-wit comic relief Martian named Droppo take over the reigns of the Martian Toy Empire. (The Martians are out-of-shape guys in tights and helmets with antenna sprouting out of them, and what looks like diarrhea smeared across their faces. Imagine a guy dressed like that mugging worse than the teacher guy in Juan Piquor Simon's "Monster Island" and that's Droppo).

How can you hate this movie? If I were a little kid in 1964 I'd be enthralled. They packed this movie with nutty stuff. Elves get shot with freeze rays. Mrs. Claus is a frantic goofball. The Martian children sleep under strange lights and eat only pills. The bad guy's hideout looks like that one King Crimson album cover. I loved the part where the villain tries to shoot Santa and the kids out of an airlock, and the part where the bad guys meddle with the toy machine and the toys come out all mixed-up. There's a guy in a goofy robot costume, and a guy in an even goofier polar bear costume. And that deliciously idiotic theme song- "You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, Hooray for Santy Claus!" Oh, it's so good!

I sincerely feel the people making this had the best intentions, and while they didn't have a huge budget they made a fun, silly kids movie. If it was the same exact movie but done in Rudolf-style stop motion animation it would be a regular holiday viewing tradition.

Oh, yeah, and Pia Zadora is in this, as if anyone cares.