Memorable quotes for
The Nutty Professor (1963) More at IMDbPro »

Professor Julius Kelp: Well, just don't do something, sit there!

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Buddy Love: Hiya, chicky baby. How's it going?
Stella Purdy: Fine.
Buddy Love: Crazy. I thought I'd visit your little land of learning. Cute. Cute pad.
Stella Purdy: What happened to you last night? What'd you run away like that for? I thought you saw a ghost or something.
Buddy Love: Oh yeah. How 'bout that? Well, that's why I stopped by. I thought I'd lay it on ya, but this ain't the place to talk. What do you say we meet later at the Purple Pit? We can talk better there.
Stella Purdy: Well, I dunno. You're pretty weird, you know, and I don't want...
Buddy Love: Chi-chi. Ten o' clock?
Stella Purdy: Perfect.
Buddy Love: Figures.

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Buddy Love: I know what you're thinking: Where's he been all my life? Right?
Stella Purdy: No, not exactly.
Buddy Love: And that you're happy with the way I handled those three goons, right? Well, normally I would've belted them, but I didn't want to muss myself all up and have you dance with a sloppy guy. Dig?
Stella Purdy: Well then, you restrained yourself just for little old me.
Buddy Love: I knew you'd appreciate it. I do a lot of nice things.
Stella Purdy: Well, is that really the case or is this line 27-a for young college girls?
Buddy Love: Aww, now you see? You went and done it. For one of the rare times in my life when I dig down into the soul, and you doubt my veracity. Well, that hurts.
Stella Purdy: Well, it's not your veracity that I doubt.
[pause]
Stella Purdy: The music stopped.
Buddy Love: Yeah, I heard.

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Buddy Love: They're nice kids. All nice. All nice kids. They have very, very good taste, I might add.
Stella Purdy: I'm glad. It would be a shame to waste the genius of yours on the riff-raff.
Buddy Love: Well, honey, I always say, if you're good and you know it, why waste time beating around the bush, true?
Stella Purdy: And I always say that to love yourself is the beginning of a life-long romance. And after watching you, I know that you and you will be very happy together.
Buddy Love: Just a minute, sweetheart. I don't recall dismissing you.
Stella Purdy: You rude, discourteous egomaniac!
Buddy Love: You're crazy about me, right? And I can understand it. Only this morning, looking in the mirror before shaving, I enjoyed seeing what I saw so much I couldn't tear myself away.
[kisses his hand]
Buddy Love: Have some, baby?

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Purple Pit Bartender: What'll it be?
Buddy Love: Aww... That's no way to talk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. "What'll it be?" That's no way to treat a customer. C'mere. Try it like this. Pay attention. You'll feel better and the customers'll be happier. Try this: "What'll it be? Hmmm?" Try that. Come on. We haven't got all night. Try it.
Purple Pit Bartender: What'll it be? Hmmm?
Buddy Love: Good! That was wonderful. Did anyone ever tell you you couldn't sing?

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Buddy Love: Have some, baby?

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Buddy Love: Here y'are, baby. Take this, wipe the lipstick off, slide over here next to me, and let's get started.

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Gym Attendant: Are you hurt?
Professor Julius Kelp: Well, if a man with an ulcer and a splinter in his finger and a nail in his foot was then struck by lightning, if you could say that man was not hurt then yes you could say I'm not hurt.

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Dr. Hamius R. Warfield: Kelp, it's human nature. Kelp, people just don't like teachers blowing up their kids!

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Dr. Hamius R. Warfield: Now try to understand that I understand, that scientists and creators have their little eccentricities. Einstein hated hair cuts, Da Vinci love to paint, and Newton...
Professor Julius Kelp: He had something to do with figs, didn't he?

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Dr. Hamius R. Warfield: Warfield finishes with papers handed to him by secretary Lemmon... Where's your pad?
Millie Lemmon: Oh it's not quite a mile from campus. It's a small flat, but you should see what I did with the drapes! Oh! You meant my steno pad. I'll be right back with it.
Dr. Hamius R. Warfield: Never mind, what is it?
Millie Lemmon: Mr. Buddy Love is hear to see you, and is he ever a gasser! Should I have him come in?
Dr. Hamius R. Warfield: If you can do so without fainting.

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