Aunt Alicia:
Bad table manners, my dear Gigi, have broken up more housholds than infidelity.
Gigi:
Do you make love all the time?
Gaston:
I beg your pardon?
Gigi:
Do you make love all the time, Gaston?
Gaston:
Certainly not! The only people who make love all the time are liars.
Aunt Alicia:
Liane d'Exelmans has commited suicide... again!
Aunt Alicia:
Love, my dear Gigi, is a thing of beauty like a work of art, and like a work of art it is created by artists. The greater the artist the greater the art. And what makes an artist?
Gigi:
Cigars and jewelry?
Aunt Alicia:
Gigi, you're from another planet.
Gigi:
[
pointing] Is that the scandalous Madame d'Exelmans?
Gaston:
Yes, that is she. Tell me, Gigi, the way that you express yourself... does you grandmother hear you talk this way?
Gigi:
She doesn't listen to me much.
Aunt Alicia:
Such stupidity is without equal in the whole history of human relations.
Mamita:
How was Monte Carlo?
Gaston:
It was a bore!
Mamita:
One has to be as rich as you are, Gaston, to be bored at Monte Carlo.
Aunt Alicia:
Marriage is not forbidden to us, but instead of getting married at once, it sometimes happens we get married at last.
Gaston:
Imagine this if you can! Here is a girl, living in a mouldy apartment: decaying walls, worm-ridden furniture, surrounded by filth...
Honore Lachaille:
You're ruining my lunch!
Gaston:
My heart was touched. I wanted to help her. I offered her everything: house, car, servants, clothes, and me!
Honore Lachaille:
And...?
Gaston:
She turned me down.
Honore Lachaille:
Turned you down?
Gaston:
Turned me down!
Honore Lachaille:
It is impossible!
Gaston:
It is not impossible, it just happened! I was refused, rejected, rebuffed and... repudiated!
Honore Lachaille:
This story is about a little girl. It could be about any one of those little girls playing there. But it isn't. It's about one in particular. Her name is Gigi.
Gaston:
Whose luncheon are you taking me to today?
Honore Lachaille:
Henri Trouvert.
Gaston:
Oh no!
Honore Lachaille:
We have to go! I'm meeting a heavenly creature there.
Gaston:
You're still young uncle, aren't you?
Honore Lachaille:
Not compared to her!
Honore Lachaille:
I must tell you that you upset all my plans for the weekend! I came prepared for battle, and an old wound...
[
points to his heart]
Honore Lachaille:
...prevented me from charging.
Madame Alvarez:
I don't think she was your type anyway, Honore.
Honore Lachaille:
You were watching me?
Madame Alvarez:
Force of habit. When a pretty woman came by I always had to watch you.
Honore Lachaille:
I'll tell you about that blue villa, Mamita. I was so much in love with you, I wanted to marry you. Yes, it's true. I was beginning to think of marriage. Imagine, marriage, ME! Oh, no! I was really desperate! I had to do something. And what I did was the soprano!
Mamita:
Thank you, Honore. That was the most charming and endearing excuse for infidelity I've ever heard.
Gaston:
I brought you some caramels.
Gigi:
Thank you, Gaston.
Madame Alvarez:
Gaston, you spoil her so.
Gaston:
The champagne is for you.
Madame Alvarez:
You spoil me too.
Aunt Alicia:
Did you work hard in school today? What did you study?
Gigi:
History. Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.
Aunt Alicia:
How depressing. What else?
Gigi:
English.
Aunt Alicia:
English? I suppose we must. They refuse to learn French.
[
last lines]
[
after a long while, Gaston returns to Madame Alvarez's apartment]
Gaston:
May I come in?
[
Gigi shrinks into a corner, hoping to be spared]
Madame Alvarez:
Please, Gaston... no papers... no scandal.
Gaston:
Madame, will you do me the honour, the favour... give me the infinite joy of bestowing on me... Gigi's hand in marriage?
[
Gigi, filled with joy, draws to Gaston's side]
Madame Alvarez:
[
smiles] Thank Heaven!
[
"Thank Heaven for Little Girls" plays again]
Gaston:
I'm sorry I kept you waiting, Uncle. Why didn't you come upstairs?
Honore Lachaille:
I was afraid I'd meet my brother and sister-in-law.
Gaston:
You would have.
Honore Lachaille:
I have to tell you... your parents bore me to death.
Gaston:
Me too.
Honore Lachaille:
But I've known them longer, so they've been boring me longer.
Manuel:
Listen to your uncle, Monsieur Gaston. He's an old campaigner.
Gaston:
[
having broken off with Liane] I've been weighing the idea of going to the country for a while.
Honore Lachaille:
You mean, leave Paris?
Gaston:
Yes. Why not?
Honore Lachaille:
Why not? That's the one thing you mustn't do. Do you want people to think you're despondent? Disturbed? If you leave, they will, you know. No, no. That would be snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. No, no, no. For the next few weeks, you should be out every night. Maxim's, Moulin Rouge, Pre Catalan.
Gaston:
The Pre Catalan is closed.
Honore Lachaille:
Open it! You must be carefree. Devil-may-care. A different girl every night. Keep them guessing who's next. Play the game. Be gay, extravagant, outrageous!
Gigi:
[
pointing at Gaston's cane] Is that gold?
Gaston:
The handle, yes.
Gigi:
You must be very rich to have a gold handle on your cane.
Gigi:
Why did he fly off the handle? He knew I'd answer him back.
Gigi:
I don't know what you want. You told Grandmamma...
Gaston:
I know what I told your grandmother. We don't have to repeat it. Just tell me simply what you don't want... and tell me what you do want.
Gigi:
Do you mean that?
Gaston:
Of course.
Gigi:
You told Grandmamma that you wanted to take care of me.
Gaston:
To take care of you beautifully.
Gigi:
Beautifully. That is, if I like it. They've pounded into my head I'm backward for my age... but I know what all this means. To "take care of me beautifully" means I shall go away with you... and that I shall sleep in your bed.
Gaston:
Please, Gigi, I beg of you! You embarrass me!
Gigi:
You weren't embarrassed to talk to Grandmamma about it. And Grandmamma wasn't embarrassed to talk to me about it. But I know more than she told me. To "take care of me" means that I shall have my photograph in the papers. That I shall go to the Riviera, to the races at Deauville. And when we fight, it will be in all the columns the next day. And then you'd give me up, as you did with Inèz des Cèvennes.
Gaston:
Who's been filling your head with all these old stories? How do you know about that?
Gigi:
Why shouldn't I know? You're world famous. I know about the woman who stole from you, the Contessa who wanted to shoot you, the American who wanted to marry you. I know what everybody knows.
Gaston:
These aren't the things we have to talk about together! That's all in the past, over and done with!
Gigi:
Yes, Gaston. Until it begins again.
[
discussing Gigi's lessons with Aunt Alicia]
Madame Alvarez:
Last week she taught her to eat cold lobster to perfection.
Gaston:
What in heaven's name for?
Madame Alvarez:
She says it's extremely useful.
[
first lines]
[
Honore walks through Paris and greets the viewer]
Honore Lachaille:
Good afternoon! As you see, this lovely city all around us is Paris, and this lovely park is of course the Bois de Boulogne. Who am I? Well, allow me to introduce myself: I am Honore Lachaille. Born: Paris. When...
[
laughs]
Honore Lachaille:
...not lately. This is 1900, so let's just say not in this century. Circumstances: comfortable. Profession: lover, and collector of beautiful things. Not antiques mind you, younger things.
[
an elderly woman passes by]
Honore Lachaille:
Yes, definitely younger. Married: what for? Now please don't misunderstand. Like everywhere else, most people in Paris get married, but not all. There are some who will not marry, and some who do not marry. But in Paris, those who will not marry are usually men, and those who do not marry are usually women.
[
begins to sing]
Honore Lachaille:
Now for example here we find / Exhibit A, the married kind. / These ladies stood their ground and won / and I salute them, every one. / Here are some others to behold / for whom the bells have never tolled. / Oh, what a poor defenseless pair / in those pathetic rags they wear...
[
Gaston humiliates his lover Liane by manhandling HER lover Sandomir. She goes hysterical and attempts suicide]
Honore Lachaille:
Congratulations! It's your first suicide!
Honore Lachaille:
[
about Liane's infidelity] This is not the first time this has happened. It has even happened to me! Isn't that right Manuel?
Manuel:
Oh yes. Many, many, many times.
Honore Lachaille:
Not THAT many!
Aunt Alicia:
And how is your dear father? Well, I hope.
Gaston:
He has diabetes.
Aunt Alicia:
Well, I suppose if you are in the sugar business...
Gaston:
I must consider my next move very carefully. All of Paris is watching me.
Mamita:
Gaston, what are you talking about? The whole world is watching you!
[
playing cards]
Gaston:
And therefore, I win!
Gigi:
And therefore... you lose!
Gaston:
You cheated! Where did you get that fourth ace?
[
Aunt Alicia proudly displays a dazzling emerald from her collection]
Gigi:
Who gave it to you, Aunt?
Aunt Alicia:
A king!
Gigi:
A great king?
Aunt Alicia:
No, a little one. Great kings do not give very large stones.
Gigi:
Why not?
Aunt Alicia:
In my opinion it's because they don't feel they have to.
Gigi:
Well, who does give the valuable jewels?
Aunt Alicia:
Who? Oh the shy, the proud, and the social climbers, because they think it's a sign of culture. But it doesn't matter who gives them, as long as you never wear anything second-rate. Wait for the first-class jewels, Gigi. Hold on to your ideals.
[
Gaston sees Gigi dressed in an alluring white gown]
Gigi:
Look, Gaston! Four yards of material in the skirt! Well, don't I look great ladyish?
Gaston:
You look like an organ-grinder's monkey!
Gigi:
An organ-grinder's monkey?
Gaston:
What happened to your little Scotch dress? And that ridiculous collar!
Gigi:
And what's wrong with that collar?
Gaston:
It makes you look like a giraffe with a goiter!
Gigi:
With all the talk there is about you, Gaston, I've never heard it said you had any taste in clothes!
Aunt Alicia:
Without knowledge of jewelery, my dear Gigi, a woman is lost.
Gaston:
[
about Liane d'Exelmans] What do you think of her?
Gigi:
She is... common!
Gaston:
Common? What, you mean "ordinary" common or "coarse" common?
Gigi:
Ordinary common... and coarse!
[
leaves]
[
Gastone brings some champagne for Mamita]
Gigi:
Can I take a glass of champagne, Mamita?
Mamita:
Have you lost your mind, Gigi? Of course not!
[
heads towards the kitchen; Gaston quickly slides his glass over to Gigi]
Aunt Alicia:
Love is eternal spring in an eternal garden!
Madame Alvarez:
And when eternal spring is over?
Aunt Alicia:
Oh, what difference does that make?
Madame Alvarez:
It makes a great deal of difference to Gigi. And may I tell you something? I am not so sure that I disagree with her.
[
to Gaston]
Gigi:
I would rather be miserable with you than without you.
Honore Lachaille:
Did she send a note?
Gaston:
Obviously.
Honore Lachaille:
Oh, good, good! Did you have to change the arrangements?
Gaston:
Don't be vulgar.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, well, she's a wonderful girl, Gigi. So young, so fresh, so vulgar. She's not sophisticated like most other woman are, but then what do sophisticated women have to offer? Nothing! They are boring, they have no surprises! But a liaison with someone like Gigi can last for months!
Gaston:
Good night. Good night!
[
Gaston, outraged by the comments made about Gigi, drags her out of Maxim's]
Gigi:
But I don't want to go home, Gaston! Let me go! What did I do, Gaston? What did I do?
[
Gaston arrives at Madame Alverez's home, angrily raps on the door and throws Gigi into Alvarez's shocked arms]
Mamita:
Gigi! What happened?
[
Gaston leaves; Gigi bursts into tears]
Honore Lachaille:
Look at all the captivating / fascinating things there are to do!
Gaston:
Name two.
Honore Lachaille:
Look at the pleasures / of the myriad of treasures / we have got!
Gaston:
Like what?
Honore Lachaille:
Look at Paris in the spring / when each solitary thing / is more beautiful than ever before! / You can hear every tree / almost saying "Look at me!"
Gaston:
What color are the trees?
Honore Lachaille:
Green!
Gaston:
What color were they last year?
Honore Lachaille:
Green!
Gaston:
And next year?
Honore Lachaille:
Green!
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
Don't you marvel at the power / of the mighty Eiffel Tower / knowing there it will remain evermore? / Climbing up to the sky / over ninety stories high!
Gaston:
How many stories?
Honore Lachaille:
Ninety!
Gaston:
How many yesterday?
Honore Lachaille:
Ninety!
Gaston:
And tomorrow?
Honore Lachaille:
Ninety!
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
The River Seine!
Gaston:
All it can do is flow.
Honore Lachaille:
But think of wine!
Gaston:
It's red or white.
Honore Lachaille:
But think of girls!
Gaston:
It's either yes or no, and if it's no or if it's yes! / It simply couldn't matter less!
Honore Lachaille:
But think of a race / with your horse in seventh place / and he suddenly begins and he catches up and wins with a roar!
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
Life is thrilling as can be!
Gaston:
Simply not my cup of tea...
Honore Lachaille:
It's a gay romantic fling!
Gaston:
If you like that sort of thing.
Honore Lachaille:
It's intriguing!
Gaston:
It's fatiguing!
Honore Lachaille:
It's a game!
Gaston:
It's the same dull world where ever you go, whatever place you are at / The earth is round, but everything on it is flat!
Honore Lachaille:
Don't tell me Venice has no lure!
Gaston:
Just a town without a sewer.
Honore Lachaille:
The Leaning Tower I adore!
Gaston:
Indecision is a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
But think of the thrill of a bull fight in Seville / when the bull is uncontrolled / and he challenges the bold matador!
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
Think of lunch beneath the trees!
Gaston:
Stop the carriage, if you please!
Honore Lachaille:
You mean you don't want to come?
Gaston:
The thought of lunch leaves me numb.
Honore Lachaille:
But I implore...!
Gaston:
Oh, no, Uncle! It's a bore!
[
singing about how to deal with Liane]
Honore Lachaille:
Just imagine her chagrin / when she sees you wander in/ And you find her with that slippery senor / What a moment supreme / when she totters with a scream...!
Gaston:
What will she do?
Honore Lachaille:
Scream!
Gaston:
What did yours do?
Honore Lachaille:
Scream!
Gaston:
What do they all do?
Honore Lachaille:
Scream!
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
But think of the bliss / of the pleasure you would miss / When she topples in a heap / and you leave her there to weep on the floor...
Gaston:
It's a bore!
Honore Lachaille:
You must catch her if you can!
Manuel:
For the dignity of man!
Honore Lachaille:
Take advantage of the chance!
Manuel:
You owe it, sir, to France!
Honore Lachaille, Manuel:
This is war!
Gaston:
All right! But it's a bore!
[
singing]
Gigi:
What time tomorrow will we get there? / Can I watch you play roulette? / May I stay up late for supper? / Is it awfully awfully upper?
Mamita:
Gigi, you'll drive us wild! / Stop, you silly child!
Gigi:
Is everybody celebrated, / full of sin and dissipated? / Is it hot enough to blister? / Will I be your little sister?
Mamita:
Gigi, you are absurd! / Now not another word! Gigi!
Gaston:
Let her gush and jabber, / let her be enthused! / I cannot remember / when I have been more amused!
Mamita:
Stop it!
Gigi:
The night they invented champagne, / it's plain as it can be / they thought of you and me. / The night they invented champagne, / they absolutely knew / that all we'd want to do / is fly to the sky on champagne / And shout to everyone in sight / that since the world began / no woman or a man / has ever been as happy as we are tonight!
Gaston:
The night they invented champagne...
[
pops a cork]
Gigi, Gaston:
...It's plain as it can be / they thought of you and me. / The night they invented champagne / they absolutely knew / that all we'd want to do / Is fly to the sky on champagne / and shout to everyone in sight
[
pops another cork]
Gigi, Gaston:
That since the world began / no woman or a man / has ever been as happy as we are tonight!
[
a cork is popped]
[
singing]
Honore Lachaille:
Each time I see a little girl / of five or six or seven / I can't resist a joyous urge / to smile and say... / Thank Heaven for little girls / For little girls get bigger every day / Thank Heaven for little girls / They grow up in the most delightful way. / Those little eyes, / so helpless and appealing / when they were flashing / send you crashing through the ceiling / Thank Heaven for little girls / Thank Heaven for them all / No matter where, no matter who / Without them, what would little boys do? / Thank Heaven, thank Heaven / Thank Heaven for little girls...
Honore Lachaille:
We met at nine.
Mamita:
We met at eight.
Honore Lachaille:
I was on time.
Mamita:
No, you were late.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
Honore Lachaille:
We dined with friends!
Mamita:
We dined alone.
Honore Lachaille:
A tenor sang.
Mamita:
A baritone.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
Honore Lachaille:
That dazzling April moon!
Mamita:
There was none that night, / and the month was June.
Honore Lachaille:
That's right, that's right...
Mamita:
It warms my heart to know / you remember still the way you do.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
Honore Lachaille:
How often I've thought of that Friday...
Mamita:
Monday...
Honore Lachaille:
...night, when we had our last rendezvous. / And somehow I've foolishly wondered if you might by some chance be thinking of it too? That carriage ride...
Mamita:
You walked me home.
Honore Lachaille:
You lost a glove.
Mamita:
I lost a comb.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
Honore Lachaille:
That brilliant sky.
Mamita:
We had some rain.
Honore Lachaille:
Those Russian songs.
Mamita:
From sunny Spain.
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
Honore Lachaille:
You wore a gown of gold.
Mamita:
I was in blue.
Honore Lachaille:
Am I getting old?
Mamita:
Oh, no, not you! How strong you were, how young and gay / A prince of love, in every way!
Honore Lachaille:
Ah, yes, I remember it well...
[
singing]
Gaston:
She's a babe! / Just a babe! / Still cavorting in her crib / Eating breakfast with a bib / with her baby teeth / and all her baby curls! / She's a tot! / Just a tot! / Good for bouncing on your knee! / I am positive that she / doesn't even know that boys aren't girls! / She's a snip! / Just a snip! / Making dreadful baby noise, / having fun with all her toys! / Just a chickadee who needs a mother hen! / She's a cub, a papoose! / You could never turn her loose! / She's too infantile to take her from her pen! / Of course, that weekend in Trouville, / in spite of all her youthful zeal, / she was exceedingly polite / and on the whole a sheer delight. / And if it wasn't joy galore, / at least not once was she a bore, / that I recall. / No, not at all... / Ah, she's a child! / A silly child! / Adolescent to her toes / and good Heaven how it shows / Sticky thumbs are all the fingers she has got! / She's a child! / A clumsy child! / She's as swollen as a grape / and she doesn't have a shape / where her figure ought to be, / It is not! / Just a child! / A growing child / that's so backward for her years, / if a boy her age appears / I am certain he will never call again! / She's a scamp and a brat, / doesn't know where she is at, / unequipped and undesirable to men! / Of course, I must confess / that in that brand new little dress, / she looked surprisingly mature / and had a definite allure. / It was a shock in fact to me, / the most amazing shock to see / the way it clung / on one, so young! / She's a girl, / a little girl! / Getting older, it is true, / which is what they always do / till that unexpected hour / when they blossom like a flower! Oh, no! Oh, no! But... but... there's sweeter music when she speaks, isn't there? / Could I be wrong? Could it be so? / Oh where, oh where did Gigi go? / Gigi! Am I a fool without a mind or have I merely been too blind to realize? / Oh Gigi! Why you've been growing up before my very eyes / Gigi! You're not at all that funny, awkward little girl, I knew / oh no! Overnight there's been a breathless change in you...
[
singing]
Gaston:
Oh Gigi! While you were trembling on the brink was I out yonder somewhere blinking at a star? / Oh Gigi! Have I been standing up too close or back too far? / When did your sparkle turn to fire, / And your warmth become desire? / Oh what miracle has made you the way you are? Gigi! Gigi! Gigi! Oh no! I was mad not to have seen the change in you! Oh, Gigi!
Gigi:
A necklace is love! A ring is love! / A rock from some obnoxious little king is love! / A sapphire with a star is love! / An ugly black cigar is love! / Everything you are is love! You would think it would embarrass / All the people here in Paris / To be thinking every minute of love!
[
singing]
Gigi:
I don't understand the Parisians / Making love every time they get the chance / I don't understand the Parisians / Wasting every lovely night on romance! Any time and under every tree in town / They're in session two by two / What a crime with all there is to see in town / They can't find something else to do! I don't understand how Parisians / Never tire of walking hand in hand / They seem to love it, and speak highly of it. / I don't understand the Parisians! When it's warm, they take a carriage ride at night / Close their eyes and hug and kiss / When it's cold, they simply move inside at night / There must be more to life than this! I don't understand the Parisians / Thinking love so miraculous and grand / But they rave about it, and won't live without it / I don't understand the Parisians!
[
Gaston speculates on the unfaithfulness of his mistress Liane]
Gaston:
She's so gay tonight / She's like spring tonight / She's a rollicking, frolicking thing tonight / So disarming, soft and charming / She is not thinking of me / No, she's not thinking of me! In her eyes tonight / There's a glow tonight / They're so bright they could light Fountainbleu tonight / She's so gracious, so vivacious / She is not thinking of me! Bless her little heart / Crooked to the core / Acting out a part / What a rollicking, frolicking bore! She's such fun tonight / She's a treat tonight / You could spread her on bread, she's so sweet tonight / So devoted, sugar-coated / That it's heart-warming to see / Oh, she's simmering with love / Oh, she's shimmering with love / Oh, she's not thinking of me! She is not thinking of me! / Someone has set her on fire / Is it Jacques? Is it Paul or Leon? / Who's turning her furnace up higher? / Oh she's hot, but it's not for Gaston! Oh, she's gay tonight / Oh, so gay tonight / A gigantic, romantic cliché tonight / How she blushes, how she gushes / How she fills me with ennui! / She's so ooh-la-la-la-la, so UNTRUE-la-la-la-la / Oh, she's not thinking of me!
[
singing]
Honore Lachaille:
Poor boy! Poor boy! / Downhearted and depressed and in a spin! / Poor boy! Poor boy! / Oh, youth can really do a fellow in! How lovely to sit here in the shade / with none of the woes of man and maid / I'm glad I'm not young anymore... The rivals that don't exist at all / The feeling you're only two feet tall / I'm glad that I'm not young anymore... / No more confusion / No morning-after surprise / No self-delusion / That when you're telling those lies / she isn't wise / And even if love comes through the door / the chance that goes on forevermore / Forevermore is shorter than before / Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore... / The tiny remark that tortures you / The fear that your friends won't like her too / I'm glad I'm not young anymore... / The longing to end the stale affair / until you find out she doesn't care / I'm glad I'm not young anymore... / No more frustration / No star-crossed lover am I / No aggravation / Just one reluctant reply / "Lady, goodbye!" The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint / Methuselah is my patron saint / I've never been so comfortable before / Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore...
[
Gigi prepares for her night with Gaston]
Gigi:
Say a prayer for me tonight / I'll need every prayer that you can spare / To get me by... Say a prayer / And while you're praying, keep on saying / "She's much too young to die..." "On to your Waterloo," whispers my heart / Pray I'll be Wellington, not Bonaparte... Oh, say a prayer for me this evening / Bow your head, and please stay on your knees / Tonight...
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