Memorable quotes for
The Lady Eve (1941) More at IMDbPro »

Charles Pike: You ought to put handles on that skull. Maybe you could grow geraniums in it.

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Charles Pike: You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year.
Jean Harrington: Good thing you weren't up there two years.

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Jean Harrington: You see Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.

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Charles Pike: What I am trying to say is: I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist.

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Jean Harrington: You know Charles?
Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith: Oh, is he the tall backwards boy always toying with toads and things? Yes, I think I have seen him skulking about.
Jean Harrington: He's not backwards. He's a scientist.
Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith: Oh is that what it is? I knew he was, mm... peculiar.

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Jean Harrington: Boy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one!
"Colonel" Harrington: Don't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common.

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Jean Harrington: See anything you like?

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Jean Harrington: I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames waiting for you to push them around.
"Colonel" Harrington: You find them, I'll push them.

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Jean Harrington: I need him like the ax needs the turkey.

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Stewart: Good morning, sir. Fruit, cereal, bacon and egg, egg and sausage, sausage and hot cake, hot cake and ham, ham and egg, egg and bacon, bacon and...
Muggsy: Give me a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg, and four houseflies. If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a cockroach.

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Charles Pike: Snakes are my life, in a way.
Jean Harrington: What a life!

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Jean Harrington: What were you doing up the Amazon?
Charles Pike: Looking for snakes. I'm an ophiologist.
Jean Harrington: I thought you were in the beer business.
Charles Pike: Beer? *Ale!*
Jean Harrington: What's the difference?
Charles Pike: Between beer and ale?
Jean Harrington: Yes.
Charles Pike: My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something, and beer's fermented on the bottom, or maybe it's the other way around. There's no similarity at all. You see, the trouble with being descended from a brewer, no matter how long ago he brewered, or whatever you call it, you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about.

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Steward: Breakfast, sir?
Charles: What'd you say?
Steward: I said, "Breakfast, sir?"
Charles: Two scotch and sodas with plain water.
Jean Harrington: Don't you take cream and sugar?
Charles: No, I always take it black.
[pause]
Charles: Say, what am I talking about?
Jean Harrington: That's what I was wondering.
Steward: How about a nice bicarbonate of soda with an egg in it? It does wonders!

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Steward: Six more Pike's Pale. Make it snappy.
Ship's Bartender: What are you trying to do, embarrass me? We're all out of Pike's Pale. Work 'em over to something else!
Steward,: They don't want nothing else. They want "the Ale that won for Yale." Rah, rah, rah.
Ship's Bartender: Well, tell 'em to go to Harvard.

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Jean Harrington: They say a moonlit deck is a woman's business office.

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Charles Pike: A girl of sixteen is practically an idiot anyway, so I can't very well blame you for something that was practically done by somebody else.

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Gerald: I can't understand how the horse ran fifth!
Jean Harrington: There were only five horses in the race.

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Charles Pike: I'm married.
Jean Harrington: But so am I, darling. So am I.

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Jean Harrington: [while observing Charles Pike from her pocket mirror] Not good enough... I said they're not good enough for him. Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer and he feels they're just a waste of time. He's returning to his book, he's deeply immersed in it. He sees no one except - watch his head turn when that kid goes by. Won't do you any good, dear, he's a bookworm, but swing 'em anyway. Oh, now how about this one. How would you like that hanging on your Christmas tree? Oh you wouldn't? Well, what is your weakness, brother? Holy smoke, the dropped kerchief! That hasn't been used since Lily Langtry. You'll have to pick it up yourself, madam. It's a shame, but he doesn't care for the flesh. He'll never see it. Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There's a girl pining for ya. A little further. Just a little further... There! Wasn't that worth looking for? See those nice store teeth all beaming at you. Oh, she recognizes you! She's up, she's down, she can't make up her mind. She's up again. She recognizes you! She's coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. "Why, for heaven's sake, aren't you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh you're not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him, it's certainly a remarkable resemblance... But if you're not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you're not going to ask me to sit down... I'm very sorry, I certainly hope I haven't caused you any embarrassment, you so and so." "I wonder if my tie's on straight. I certainly upset them, don't I? Now who else is after me?" Ah, the lady champion wrestler, wouldn't she make a houseful? Oh, you don't like her either. Well, what are you going to do about her? Oh, you just can't stand it anymore, you're leaving. These women don't give you a moment's peace, do they? Well, go ahead! Go sulk in your cabin. Go soak your head and see if I care!

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Gerald: Want the strippers on the right?
"Colonel" Harrington: I hardly need them, Gerald.

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Charles Pike: Now you, on the other hand, with a little coaching you could be terrific
[at playing cards]
Charles Pike: .
Jean Harrington: Do you really think so?
Charles Pike: Yes, you have a definite nose.
Jean Harrington: I'm glad you like it. Do you like any of the rest of me?

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Charles Pike: [unaware he has been targeted by a gang of card sharks] Have you seen this one?
[performs childish sleight-of-hand trick]
Jean Harrington: Look, he does card tricks!

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Lawyer at Phone in Pike's Office: He says she says she won't have anything to do with lawyers.
Lawyer: That's entirely irregular!
Horace Pike: Well, its a thought!

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Muggsy: Positively the same dame!

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Jean Harrington: Naturally I was frightfully anxious to see Unlce Alfred, and as I didn't know just where Connecticut was, I took the tube.
Horace Pike: [the crowd laughs] The subway.
Jean Harrington: And to the official, I said, "Be so good as to let me off at Connecticut." You see, I thought we'd have the boxes sent up in a dray later that afternoon.
Horace Pike: The what?
Bartender at Pike's Party: Trucks on a truck.
[the crowd laughs]
Jean Harrington: So he said, "Lady, I don't know where Connecticut is, but this train goes to Harlem."
[the crowd laughs]
Jean Harrington: But I don't know how he knew I was a Lady!
[the crowd laughs]

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Jean Harrington: Oh there he is!
[as Fonda's character walks back into the room]
Charles Pike: I had to change my coat.
Horace Pike: Well, don't knock the table over.

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