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The Smiling Lieutenant
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Franzi: Girls who start with breakfast don't usually end up with supper.

Lieutenant Niki: Do you know whom she reminds me of? Your wife.
Max: Oh, now wait a minute! This girl is beautiful!
Lieutenant Niki: Just picture your wife fifteen years younger, twenty pounds lighter, her hair dyed, her nose operated on. The same girl.

King Adolf XV: This is unheard of. Flausenthurm without an "h?" Don't they know, in Vienna, how to spell my country?
Princess Anna: It's a deliberate insult, Papa. They're trying to make us feel, just because we've a little country, we shouldn't have so many letters.

Lieutenant Niki: Remember what Napoleon said before he went to Elba: "So long."

Princess Anna: I don't know very much about life. I got all my knowledge out of the Royal Encyclopedia. A special edition arranged for Flausenthurm, with all the interesting things left out.

Lieutenant Niki: When we like someone, we smile. But when we want to do something about it, we wink.

Princess Anna: Papa, you may not realize it, but I'm desperate. I'm no longer responsible. I'm capable of anything. If you don't let me have my Lieutenant, do you know what I'm going to do?
King Adolf XV: What?
Princess Anna: I'm going to marry an American!

King Adolf XV: When you winked at my daughter, were your intentions honorable?
Lieutenant Niki: They were.
King Adolf XV: Well, then naturally you'll marry her.
Lieutenant Niki: My intentions were dishonorable!
King Adolf XV: Then you'll have to marry her!

King Adolf XV: Let me tell you, that schnitzel came from an imported Viennese cow.
Princess Anna: Imported especially for you.
Lieutenant Niki: Poor cow. To start life in Vienna and end it in Flausenthurm.

King Adolf XV: So that's what she does, eh? Plays the violin?
Princess Anna: Yes, papa. And in public! Tell me, papa, be frank do all girls like that play the violin?
King Adolf XV: Not necessarily, but I'll tell you one thing: they play!

Princess Anna: I love him so dearly.
Franzi: I'm just wild about him.
Princess Anna: Isn't he good-looking?
Franzi: Oh, and how!
Princess Anna: That's it exactly! And how! Did you see him in his new uniform?
Franzi: At the wedding? Stunning!
Princess Anna: But to tell you the truth, I like him even better in his dinner-coat.
Franzi: With the straw hat?
Princess Anna: Yes, with the straw hat!
Franzi: Oh, that's nothing. Did you ever see him in... oh, never mind!

Franzi: Jazz up your lingerie!

Col. Rockoff: Lieutenant, I'm here on a very confidential mission. Her highness, the Princess Anna, wanted to talk to you, but before talking to you, naturally she took up the matter with her father, His Majesty, the King. His Majesty, the King, decided that Her Highness, the Princess, should not talk to you first. On the contrary, you should first talk to Her Highness, the Princess. But before talking to the Princess, His Majesty the King wants you to talk to him, so that he can give you permission to talk to the Princess. But then we all got together and had a little talk, and came to the conclusion that, under the royal Flausenthurm etiquette, you, being an ordinary lieutenant, cannot do the talking at all. You understand?
Lieutenant Niki: Perfectly. May I ask what you are talking about?
Col. Rockoff: In one word, Lieutenant: Please don't *you* propose to the Princess.
Lieutenant Niki: But I never intended to! And I never will!
Col. Rockoff: [shakes hands with him] Thank you! Congratulations!

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