Quotes for
Goofy (Character)
from A Goofy Movie (1995)

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A Goofy Movie (1995)

Max: Dad, it's Big Foot!
Goofy: Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot, uh, you're out of focus.

Goofy: [Half awake] How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Max: Uh... three and a half?

Goofy: This is a vacation with me and my best buddy.
Max: Donald Duck?
Goofy: No, silly, with you!

Goofy: Hey, Maxie. Let's play a game. You think of someone and I'll try to guess who it is. Man or woman?
Max: Aw, man.
Goofy: Man? Hmm... That's a toughy... let's see... Walt Disney!
Max: Right.
Goofy: Boy, I'm good at this! Now I'll think of one.

Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.

Goofy: I think the only thing to do now is to get you up on stage with this Power Line feller.
Max: Really?
Goofy: You just leave that up to me.
Max: No, that's okay.
Goofy: Why do you always think I'm going to lead you into some kind of calamity?
Max: Uh, d-d-d-dad?
Goofy: What is it, Max?
Max: Look!
[Max turns Goofy around; he sees that they are headed to a waterfall]
Goofy: Hyuk, a waterfall.
[alarmed]
Goofy: A waterfall?

Goofy: I was only trying to take my boy fishing, okay?
Max: I'm NOT your little boy anymore, Dad, I'm grown up. I've got my own life now!
Goofy: I know that! I just wanted to be part of it. You're my son, Max, no matter how big you get you'll always be my son.

[Goofy and Max's car has fallen into a raging river and they fall in after it]
Max: Now, look where you got us, Dad!
Goofy: Where *I* got us?
Max: You should've let me stay at home!
Goofy: Why? So you'd end up in prison?
Max: Prison? What're you talking about!
Goofy: Your principal called me.
Max: It's not what you think, Dad!
Goofy: You even lied to me.
Max: I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy: I was just trying to take my boy fishin', okay?
Max: I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I've grown up! I've got my own life now!
Goofy: I know that! I just wanted to be part of it.
[the river stops raging and moves more slowly and calmly; Goofy, too, then calms down]
Goofy: You're my son, Max. No matter how big you get, you'll always be my son.

Max: You should've let me stay at home!
Goofy: So you'd end up in prison?
Max: What do you mean?
Goofy: Your principal called me.
Max: It's not what you think it is!
Goofy: You even lied to me.
Max: I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy: I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?
Max: I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I've grown up now! I've got my own life!
Goofy: I know that. I just want to be part of it. You're my son, Max. No matter how old you get, you'll always be my son.

[last lines]
Max: Roxanne, I'd like you to meet my dad.
Goofy: [taking Roxanne's hand] Enchantée, mademoiselle.
[he kisses her hand]

Goofy: Come on, Maxie, let's get this show on the road!
Max: Um, just a minute you... Party... Animal... You!

[the car is rolling down a hill]
Max: You should've put the brake on!
Goofy: Why didn't you just put it on yourself?
[Pulls brake lever, which breaks off]
Max: See? You ruin everything.
Goofy: Well, you ruined the vacation!
Max: I never... Wanted to go... On this stupid... VACATION!

[Goofy enters Max's room]
Goofy: Mornin', son!
Max: [in his underwear] Dad!
Goofy: Whoops. I forgot.
[exits, knocks then re-enters]
Goofy: Mornin', son!

Pete: Since we're all being palsy-walsy, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Goofy: Well...
Pete: Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord, you won't even notice it.
Goofy: Oh, okay.
Pete: Great. P.J.!
[P.J. comes hauling a huge extension cord]
Pete: Hey, Goof, why don't you order us a pizza? This could take a while.

[Goofy and Pete settle into a hot tub at a motel]
Peter Pete: So, uh, you and your son seem to be getting along just hunky-dorey, huh?
Goofy: Yeah, it's been great. You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked.
Peter Pete: Oh, that's swell. So, uh, no problems then, huh?
Goofy: Not a one.
Peter Pete: [sighs] I... I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh...
Goofy: What is it, Pete?
Peter Pete: Your kid's dupin' ya.
Goofy: What do you mean?
Peter Pete: Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map so... you're headin' straight to L.A., pal.
Goofy: [shocked] What?
Peter Pete: Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all.
Goofy: I don't believe you.
Peter Pete: What?
Goofy: I don't believe you, Pete.
Peter Pete: Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.
Goofy: I don't need to check the map. I trust my son.
[Goofy climbs out of the tub]
Goofy: You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but... he loves me.
Peter Pete: Hey, *my* son *respects* me.
Goofy: Yeah...
[Goofy leaves]
Peter Pete: [calling after him] Check the map, Goof...

Goofy: You look just like I did at your age.
Max: Please don't say that, Dad.

Goofy: I saved the best for last. It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof, and now, it's yours, son.
Max: A stick?
Goofy: No, silly. A fishing pole!
Max: Fishing? We're going fishing?
Goofy: Yup. Just like my dad and me did - two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny *away from it all*!
Max: I don't want to be *away from it all*, Dad, I like *it all*.
Goofy: Look, Maxie. We're using the same map me and my dad used. We'll take the same route, make the same stops, see the same sights.
Max: But that trip will take weeks, Dad!
Goofy: Exactly! Getting there is half the fun!
Max: Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen.
Goofy: Careful, son! You'll ruin my past... and our future. What the map says... we will follow.
Max: That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but there's seriously this party I have to...
Goofy: Oh, there will be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I've never even been invited to a party. Look at me, now!
Max: Great, Dad.

Goofy: Came to see if you had any dirty clothes.
Max: There they are. Help yourself.
Goofy: Max, I thought we talked about this.
Max: Sorry, Dad. I'll take care of it later.
Goofy: What's the big rush?
Max: I'm running late.
Goofy: I can drive you to school on my way to work.
Max: Oh, no thanks. I need the exercise.

Goofy: Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox.
[runs over the fence]
Goofy: Goodbye, pile of broken wood.

Goofy: [singing] Me and Max relaxing like the old days...
Max#: [singing] This is worse than dragon breath and acne.
Goofy: [singing] ... in a buddy-buddy kind of mode.
Max#: [singing] I'm so mad, I think I'm may explode!
Goofy: [singing] When I see that highway, I could cry.
Max#: [singing] You know, that's funny. So could I.
Goofy, Max#: [singing] Just being out on the open road.

Max: [writing] Dear Roxanne, couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd drop you a line. My dad and I are having a great time. We're only days away from L.A., and I can hardly wait for the big concert!
Goofy: [in his sleep] More "Hi, Dad" soup, please?
Max: [writing] Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, I'm not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never want to see me again...
[speaking]
Max: Oh, man! I'm dead no matter what I do!

Goofy: You really had him fooled, Pete!
Max: Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Goofy: Uh-uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max: Oh, right! Sure!

Max: Listen, Dad, about my directions... will you just listen to me? I gotta tell you something.
Goofy: Why bother? I'm probably too stupid to understand, anyway, right?
Max: Forget it.

Max: Hey, the car!
Goofy: What? Now you want to drive too?
Max: No, Dad! The car! Look!
Goofy: The car? What did you do now, Max?
Max: I didn't do anything, Dad! I only touched it!

Goofy: You locked it!
Max: *I* locked it? It's your door! *You* locked it!
Goofy: Well, *you* distracted me!

Goofy: You're doing the right thing, Max.
Max: I know, but she'll probably never want to talk to me again.
Goofy: If she doesn't, she's probably not the one for you.
Max: That's what I'm afraid of.

[Max's stomach growls]
Goofy: Max, was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
Max: Man, I'm STARVING!

Max: [sees Goofy loading the car] Goin' somewhere, Pop?
Goofy: Yep!
Max: Cool. Have a good time. If you're gonna be more than a month, drop me a line.

[at concert]
Goofy: Let's get you on stage!
Max: Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
[a pair of *very* attractive dancers walk past]
Max: Hmmm, then again...

[Goofy pulls the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard to heat soup]
Goofy: It's nice to know this thing's good for somethin'.

Goofy: Are you okay, Maxie?
[He slaps his face to wake him up]
Max: What did you say?
Goofy: That's right. A vacation, son! We'll spend some real quality time together.
[hugs him tight against his belly]
Max: [traumatically shocked] I think I'm gonna be sick.

[Goofy and Max are trapped by Bigfoot in their car, and it is about Max's suppertime. They are waiting for his soup to warm up, and Goofy starts chuckling with his mouth closed]
Max: What's so funny?
Goofy: "Hi Dad" soup.
Max: Huh?
Goofy: Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi Dad" soup? Oh, come on. Sure you do. You used to spell things out using the letters. Like, uh, "Hi Dad", or "Maxie" ,or -...
Max: "Ambidextrous"?
Goofy: Yeah, that's - - Huh? Naaa, little words, like, uh -...
Max: "Hasta la vista"?
Goofy: Like "bye-bye".
Max: Or "I pledge allegiance"-...
Goofy: A-hyuk, or "I love you."
[They suddenly get a shock of sadness, then turn to face at the windshield]
Max: [happy again] Is it, uh, is it soup yet?
Goofy: Oh, oh. I almost forgot.
[Punches holes on can with buck teeth]

Goofy: [talking to Principle Mazur on the phone] Hello.
Principal Mazur: Yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Goofy: Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?
Principal Mazur: No, Mr. Goof. He's in trouble!
Goofy: Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Principal Mazur: Dressed like a gang member...
Goofy: Gang member?
Principal Mazur: ...your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Goofy: Riot? It couldn't be my...
Principal Mazur: If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up in the *electric chair*!
Goofy: [getting traumatically shocked] The electric chair?

Max: It's only Powerline, Dad, the biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy: Not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the mambo king. Everybody mambo!

Max: But, Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
Goofy: That's never stopped me. I'm gonna show you a little secret that has been handed down for twelve or thirteen Goof generations: the Perfect Cast.
Max: The perfect what?
Goofy: The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was your age, and now I pass it on to you. Watch carefully now. You gotta stay loose, relaxed. Keep your feet apart. Now, ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three, tour jeté, twist, pas de deux, I'm a little teapot, then the windup... and let 'er fly! The Perfect Cast.

[Goofy and Max have stopped bickering about the car, the vacation and Max's life]
Max#: [singing] There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas, and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw.
Goofy: None taken.
Max#: [singing] Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understandin'? Nobody else but you.
Goofy: [singing] Oh, you moodiness is now and then bewildering, and you values may be, so to speak, askew.
Max#: [spoken] Gesundheit.
Goofy: [spoken] Thanks.
[singing]
Goofy: Who deserves a hero's trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you.
Max#, Goofy: [singing in unison] Nobody else but you. It's just our luck. We're stuck together. Nobody else but you. It's crazy enough to believe we'll come through.

Max#: [singing] So your jokes are all, let's face it, prehistoric.
Goofy: [singing] And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo.
Max#, Goofy: [singing in unison] But when life becomes distressing, who will I be S-O-S-ing?
Max#: [singing] If you're having trouble guessing, here's a clue: though he seems intoxicated, he's just highly animated, and he's nobody else but...
Max#, Goofy: [singing in unison] Nobody else but you. We've turned into a true blue duo. Hard times, we've had a few...
Goofy: [singing] Like we're thrown in the drink...
Max#: [singing] Like we're tossed out of town...
Max#, Goofy: [singing in unison] But when I start to sink, hey, I'd rather go down, with nobody else but Y-O-U!
[Goofy kisses Max]
Max#: [annoyed] Aw, Dad!

Goofy: [sleeping] More "Hi Dad" soup, please...

Goofy: [after Max slams the car door] All right, then. Guess I'll just have to go... all alone, that's all. Just sit in the boat... all alone. And talk to myself. All alone.
Max: I guess so.

---

Kingdom Hearts II (2005) (VG)

Xigbar: Have you been a good boy?
Sora: Show yourself!
Xigbar: [appears] Oh, it sounds like you haven't
Xigbar: Sora! Roxas!
Sora: Roxas? Hey, did he just call me Roxas?
[Donald nods]
Xigbar: You've really put Organization XIII into a pickle, I guess that's why the Keyblade chose you, but man, did it pick a dud this time, you don't look like you're half the hero the others were
Sora: Are you done rambling?
Xigbar: Rambling? As if. All I'm trying to tell you traitor, is that your time is up
Goofy: [as Xigbar jumps down] Here he comes!

Sora: [Kairi had been kidnapped by Axel again; Sora is sad and worried] Kairi...
Goofy: Ya think it mighta been, Axel?
Donald Duck: [nods]
Hayner: Sorry...
Sora: Hey, it's not your fault. C'mon cheer up!
Sora: [sighs, sad again] Like I can even say that...
Sora: [Goofy looks at an emotionless Sora; Sora stomps his foot on the ground and Goofy falls back] I gotta help Kairi!
Pence: [the crystals of the Struggle trophy fall to the ground; Hayner, Pence, and Olette pick them up] That was close!
Sora: [picks up the blue crystal and holds it towards the sun]
Donald Duck: [Hayner, Pence, and Olette do the same; Sora turns into Roxas for a minute] Sora?
Goofy: Sora! Are you okay?
Sora: Huh? What...?

Beast: Listen Belle...
Belle: Yes?
Sora: [Beast is trying to find the right words] Say it!
Lumiere: Go on!
Donald: C'mon!
Mrs. Potts: You can do it!
Cogsworth: We have confidence
Goofy: Don't be bashful now
Beast: [he turns back to Belle again] Belle, I'd like you to stay... With me... Please?
Belle: [she smiles at him] I will

Goofy: You're thinking too much.

Goofy: We've been sleeping.
Cid Highwind: [sarcastically] Where? In cold storage?

Sora: [Elizabeth and Will are hugging] Good for them.
Goofy: Uh huh!
Donald Duck: [turns to Sora] Hey Sora, how come your face is all red?
Sora: [covering his cheek] What? It is not red!
Donald Duck: Aw, I know who you're thinking about!
Donald Duck, Goofy: [Donald and Goofy laugh]

Sora: I'm Sora.
Donald Duck: And I'm Donald.
Goofy: Nice to meet'cha Tron. I'm Goofy.

Goofy: Uhh... hey Sora, why're you blushing? Your face is all red.
Sora: huh? I-I'm not blushing!
[watching Elizabeth and Will get cozy with one another]
Donald: [sing song voice] I know who you're thinking of!

Goofy: Hey! It's... um... it's Iago!
[Sora and Donald draw their weapons]
Iago: No, wait, you got me all wrong
Donald Duck: You're Iago alright

Sephiroth: What is Cloud doing?
Sora: Beats me
Sephiroth: Hmph
[pause]
Sephiroth: By the way, you three...
Sephiroth: [Draws sword and aims it at Sora Donald and Goofy; Sora draws his Keyblade] Who are you?
Goofy: I don't think we should tell ya that
Sephiroth: [Looks at Sora's Keyblade] That's an interesting sword your carrying
Donald Duck: It's the Keyblade!
Sephiroth: So, that's a Keyblade, and you must be it's chosen weilder
Sora: So what if I am?
Sephiroth: I wonder if it won't change it's mind, once I defeat you!

Demyx: [screaming] No way!
[Demyx dies]
Sora: Anyone from the Organization who'd like to be next?
Donald Duck: Hey, Sora! Don't antagonize them!
Goofy: Yeah, we gotta go help our friends out first.
Sora: Oh. Sorry.
Donald Duck: Then let's go!

Sora: You're bizzare... Ah!
[Demyx pulls Olympus Stone out of his pocket]
Goofy: He's gotta be the theif!
Demyx: Now that's just plain rude!

Pete: Ooh, ow!
Goofy: You know, somethin' doesn't seem quite right here. Are you sure you're Pete?
Pete: Well, of *course* I'm Pete. I'm the captain of the steamboat. So stop botherin' me, see?
[waves his fist]
Pete: So hit the road! I gotta go find the little runt what stole my boat!

---

Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas (1999) (V)

Goofy: [gets electricuted by the Christmas tree's lights] That'll put the Spirit of Chrismtas in ya!

Young Max Goof: Did you know that there are over 2 billion kids in the world?
Goofy: No wonder I keep tripping over roller skates.

Young Max Goof: That means Santa would have to take about 800 visits a second! Not including bathroom breaks!
Goofy: Well, Santy's been so good at it for so long, he figured out all the shortcuts.

Goofy: [covered with baking powder] It looks like we're going to have a white Christmas after all!

Goofy: [with his head inside a turkey] Mmm, chestnuts.

Father: Wow, Mr. Goofy! That was incredible!
Girl: It's magic!
Goofy: Gawrsh! Christmas magic, I guess.

Goofy: Look what I found, Maxie! It's your old stuffed bear! You remember what you named him?
Young Max Goof: Old stuffed bear?

Goofy: [to Max thinking he's Santa Claus] You sure do look a lot shorter than you do in your pictures... and slimmer too.
Young Max Goof: [imitating Santa] Oh, you know. Camera adds 50 pounds.

Goofy: Maybe I should get one of those neat electric thingies. Nah, don't want to turn into one of those fancy-loving nuts.

Goofy: We should slow down before we break the sound barrier!
Young Max Goof: What?
Goofy: We're heading straight for the mall!

Young Max Goof: Low bridge!
Goofy: Really? Where?

Goofy: Of course there's a Santy. Otherwise, we'd have a lot of jobless elves running around.

Goofy: A broken clock's right two times a day, and this time, I know I'm right!

---

Kingdom Hearts (2002) (VG)

Donald Duck: We've got a problem, Goofy! But don't tell anyone...
Goofy: (Ignoring Donald) Queen Minnie?
Donald Duck: Not even the queen.
Goofy: (Still ignoring Donald) Daisy?
Donald Duck: No, it's top secret!
Goofy: G'morning, ladies.

Goofy: While we're in other worlds, we can't let on where we're from. We've gotta protect the world border.

[Pluto sniffs in the direction opposite of where Donald is walking to]
Goofy: Uh, Donald. Ya know, I betcha that...
Donald Duck: Aw, what do you know, you big palooka?
Goofy: What do I know?

Aerith: Okay, you know there are many other worlds out there besides your castle and this town, right?
Donald Duck: Yeah.
Goofy: But they're supposed to be a secret.
Aerith: They've been secret because they've never been connected. Until now. When the Heartless came, everything changed.

Goofy: Ansem?
Aerith: He was studying the Heartless. He recorded all his findings in a very detailed report.
Goofy: Gwarsh, uh, can we see it?
Aerith: Its pages are scattered everywhere.
Donald Duck: Scattered?
Aerith: To many worlds.

Sora: I wonder if I can find Riku and Kairi.
Donald Duck: Of course.
Goofy: (Aside) Are you sure?
Donald Duck: (Aside) Who knows? But we need him to come with us to help us find the king.

[the trio introduce themselves to one another]
Donald Duck: Donald Duck.
Goofy: Name's Goofy.
Sora: I'm Sora.
Goofy: All for one, one for all.

Doorknob: Must you be so loud? You woke me up.
Goofy: Good morning.
Doorknob: Good night! I need a bit more sleep.

Goofy: We're outsiders, so wouldn't that be muddling?
Donald Duck: "Meddling"!

Phil: You rookies still don't understand what it takes to be a true hero.
Goofy: So, what does it take?
Hercules: Well, that's just something you'll have to find out for yoursevles. Just the way that I did.

[as they're inside Monstro, something falls]
Goofy: Ya know, I think that big ol' whale Monstro just swallowed us. And for today's weather, expect showers.
[as something else falls]
Goofy: Heavy showers!

Donald Duck: But no frowning, no sad faces. Okay?
Goofy: Yeah! You gotta be funny, like us!
Donald Duck: [Donald shoves his head away] This boat runs on happy faces!
Sora: [downtrodden] ... Happy?

---

An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000) (V)

Goofy: The world will be your clam.
Max: Oyster, Dad.
Goofy: No thanks. I'm saving room for wienies.

Goofy: Don't forget to have some milk with those donuts!

Goofy: [sadly] One day you're changing their diapers, the next they're leaving for college.
Pete: [cheerfully] Well, Goof, the way I see it; this is my last night of babysittin'!

Goofy: [as Bobby drives the van away] Goin' already? What about breakfast? You need your three squares a day!
Max: [hanging out of the window] Don't worry, Dad! We'll pick up some donuts on the way!

Goofy: Did you brush your teeth?
Max: Uh-huh.
Goofy: Comb your hair?
Max: Yeah, Dad.
Goofy: Did you put on clean underwear?
Max: [angrily] DAD!

[Goofy has walked into Max's classroom in full 70s attire, and Max is shocked and horrified]
Max: [muttering] Oh no, oh no, oh...
Bobby: Hey Max, is my vision blurred, or doesn't that guy look like your dad?
Goofy: Maxie!
Max: [grabbing and ringing at Bobby's shoulders] Kill me, just kill me now!

Goofy: I'm not gonna be at college to pick up after you.
[sadly, to his son]
Goofy: In fact, it's gonna be a long time before you see your old man again. What, maybe Christmas?
[puts his finger up to his eye, wiping away a tear]
Max: Ah, Dad, it'll go by fast.
[chuckles, then mutters under his breath]
Max: Not too fast, I hope.

---

Lonesome Ghosts (1937)

Goofy: I know you! You're a ghost!

Goofy: Oh I'm brave, but I'm careful.

Goofy: I ain't a-scared of no ghosts.

Ghost: [On phone] Do you chase ghosts?
Goofy: Ahyuck! Do we chase ghosts?
Mickey Mouse: Y-y-yes, ma'am... Yes, sir! I'll say we do!
Ghost: Well, this house is full of ghosts. Listen.
[the ghosts take turns doing spooky laughs through the phone]
Ghost: Come quick. The old McShiver mansion.
Mickey Mouse: Okay, we'll be right over.
[Hangs up]
Mickey Mouse: Oh, boy! A customer!
Donald Duck: A customer!
Goofy: A customer?

Mickey Mouse: The telephone!
Donald Duck: The telephone!
Goofy: A-hyuck. The telephone?

Mickey Mouse: Ghosts.
Donald Duck: Ghosts!
Goofy: G-g-g-ghosts?

Goofy: [pins his butt thinking it's a ghost] YEOW! It's got me! They're pulling the life out of me! Help! Mickey! I got 'em! I got all three of them!

---

A Goof Troop Christmas (1993) (TV)

Goofy: The lights'll be up in a minute, Maxie!
Max: That's what you said an hour ago.

Goofy: There's somethin' me and Max used to do to get in the Christmas spirit.
Max: Dad! Not the reindeer dance!

Max: Dad, let's not overdo it this time.
Goofy: This is the perfect time of year to overdo it!

[Pete and Goofy run out of the kitchen]
Pete: [flipped out] There's a bear in there!
Goofy: Don't worry. After he eats all the food, he'll go away.
Pete: Oh. That's good.
[pause]
Pete: [whimpering] ALL the food?

Goofy: Remember when we invented the Reindeer Dance?
Max: I was 5 years old. Legally stupid.

---

Tomorrow We Diet! (1951)

Goofy: Hello, handsome.
Goofy's reflection: Hello, fat.
Goofy: Who are you calling fat?
Goofy's reflection: Who? You.
Goofy: Why, I'm as fit as a fiddle.
Goofy's reflection: A bass fiddle.

Goofy: I was an all around athlete.
Goofy's reflection: That's right, only now you're just all round.

Goofy's reflection: Get thee behind me, salami.

Goofy's reflection: Eat, drink and be merry, and tomorrow we diet.

Goofy: [reading a fortune from a weight scale] You are jolly, genial, lovable and...
[shocked]
Goofy: FAT AS A PIG? I must be getting fat.

---

No Smoking (1951)

[repeated line]
Goofy: Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! SMOKE!

Goofy: What'd I quit smoking for? I like smoking! I'm no quitter! I get a lot of pleasure smoking! I love smoking! It's my hobby!
[his eyes turn red and wild and he babbles]

Goofy: Hey mister, you got a cig, a fag, a pipe, nail, weed, rope or chaw or... cigar or snuff or anything, just ANYTHING!

---

Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004) (V)

Mickey Mouse: This is it guys, when these doors open, we got to make a very first impression.
[Donald stands, Goofy licks hair, then stands]
Mickey Mouse: Okay guys, we're on duty, and this place will be crawling with bad guys.
Donald Duck: Bad guys?
Mickey Mouse: [seriously] So, stay alert!
Donald Duck: [to Goofy] You heard him! Stay alert!
Goofy: Aye-aye sir!
[looks around, sees something strange with an ax]
Goofy: Bad guy! No! Whoa!
Mickey Mouse: Goofy!
[Goofy attacks himself]
Goofy: Gwarsh! He pulled an ax on me.
[Shows an ax]

Minnie: Just imagine. He'll stride into the room. Light will glow from him. I'll hear music. He'll bring me flowers.
[Flowers magically transformed into butterflies]
Minnie: And he'll sweep me off my feet. And I'll know he's the one, when he makes me laugh.
Daisy: You're majesty.
[pops on Mickey's body]
Daisy: It's time to cut the cheese.
[Record needle scratches]
Minnie: What? What?
Daisy: Here we are. Roquefort anyone?
[Knife shines]
Goofy: Knife!
Donald Duck: Bad guy!
Mickey Mouse: Grab her!
Daisy: Oh no.
[Mickey, Donald and Goofy accidently attacked on her]
Daisy: [during the attack] Ahh! Help! Ahh!
Minnie: Oh! Unhand her! Release her! Stop it!
[the fighting stops]
Minnie: Drop her!
[Mickey, Donald and Goofy dropped Daisy]
Minnie: She is my lady in waiting!

Mickey Mouse: All for one...
Goofy: And two for tea!

---

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories (2004) (VG)

[Captain Hook ambushes Sora's party on the deck of his ship]
Captain Hook: I'll teach you to stow away on Captain Hook's vessel! Friends of Peter Pan, I'll wager!
Donald Duck: Are we his friends?
Goofy Goof: He sure didn't seem to think so.
Sora: Yeah, the way he took off like that. He even ditched Wendy.
Captain Hook: I'm not finished talking yet! How dare you ignore me and plot behind my back! Uncivilized brats! You're in cahoots with Peter Pan, no mistake!
Sora: If you say so. Either way, you're gonna let us off this ship.
Goofy Goof: And Wendy's coming with us.
Captain Hook: Think again, you scallywags! Hook's one step ahead of you!
[Wendy is seen with her hands tied behind her back and standing on the edge of a gangplank]
Sora: Wendy!
Captain Hook: Any trouble, and Wendy swims with the sharks!
Donald Duck: You wouldn't!
Captain Hook: Believe me, I'd rather not. After all, I need Wendy to lure out that blasted Peter Pan!

[Sora and co. find themselves in Monstro]
Sora: What a weird place! Everything's kinda springy and soft.
Goofy Goof: Nice and warm, too. I'm startin' to feel like a nap.

[Sora and co. meet up with Alice after they save her from the Queen of Hearts]
Alice: I don't mean to be ungrateful, but... was that true, what you said? Are you the thief?
Sora: What? Of course not! Why would I steal the queen's memory?
Goofy Goof: Yep, Sora only said that 'cause he wanted to save...
Donald Duck: - to show off!
Alice: Is that right? Well, you saved me all the same. Thank you, Sora.

---

Crazy with the Heat (1947)

Goofy: Give me an ice cream sody!

Oasis Soda Fountain Proprietor: Uh-uh! The fee. Thou owest me six bucks.
Goofy: [angrily] I won't pay up!
[He continues to walk off]
Goofy: Doggone clip joint.
[the proprietor pulls him back, places a tall stack of plates in his hand and threatens him with a scimitar]
Oasis Soda Fountain Proprietor: Thou shalt not break any now, shalt thou?

---

Aquamania (1961)

Goofy Jr.: Whatcha doin' down there, pop?
Goofy: Oh, just parkin' the car, son!

---

On Ice (1935)

Goofy: [Donald comes out of the water and Goofy hits him accidentally] Gosh! I thought you was a fish.
Donald Duck: Oh, yeah? Who's a fish, you big palooka?

---

Moving Day (1936)

Goofy: Ice!
Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck: Shh!
Goofy: [whispering] Ice.
Mickey Mouse: The sheriff.
Donald Duck: The sheriff.
Goofy: [Loud] The sheriff?
Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck: Shh!
Mickey Mouse: We gotta move.
Donald Duck: We gotta move.
Goofy: [as if talking to someone behind him] We gotta move.
[Notices there is no one behind him; laughs]

---

The Whalers (1938)

Goofy: [after the whale has destroyed the ship, Goofy emerges from the wreckage] Here he is! Ha ha!
[Pulls out a fish]
Goofy: Gosh, he must've shrunk.

---

Mickey's House of Villains (2001) (V)

Goofy: [In "Lonesome Ghosts] Oh, I'm brave. Hyuck, but I'm careful.
[Ghost bangs to distract Goofy]

---

How to Be a Detective (1952)

Goofy: Looks like I'm gettin' to the bottom of this case!

---

Fun & Fancy Free (1947)

Goofy: [singing] Lots of starches, / Lots of greens, / Fancy chocolate-covered...
Mickey Mouse: Beans!
Goofy: What d'you mean, "beans"?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah, fellows. I sold the cow for some magic beans!
Donald Duck: Beans?
[goes crazy]
Mickey Mouse: But Donald! These are not ordinary beans! They're magic beans! If you plant these beans in the light of a full moon, do you know what'll happen?
Donald Duck: Yes! We get more beans!

---

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a pussy.

---

African Diary (1945)

Goofy: [Goofy takes aim at the rhino charging at him with his shotgun, trembling] It was either him or me...
[Goofy pulls the trigger only to find out the shotgun wasn't loaded]
Goofy: ... it was ME!
[the rhino swings Goofy by his shotgun with his horn and flings him off into the distance]

---

"Goof Troop: Shake, Rattle & Goof (#1.20)" (1992)

Goofy Goof: That music sure is loud!
Maximilliam 'Max, Peter "P.J.: WHAT?
Goofy Goof: Turn it down!
Maximilliam 'Max: It doesn't go any louder!

---

Mickey's Trailer (1938)

Mickey Mouse: Hey, who's driving?
Donald Duck: Yeah, who's driving?
Goofy: Hyuck! Why, I'm driving.
[Realizes he's not and rushes back to the car, accidentally unhooking the trailer, which rolls away behind him]
Goofy: [not realizing the trailer is gone] The worst is over. It's all downhill from here.

---

Symphony Hour (1942)

Mickey Mouse: Where's Goofy? Where are the instruments? GOOFY!
[Echoes]
Goofy: I'M COMI-I-I-I-ING!

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