Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

reviewed by
Steve Rhodes


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BASIC INSTINCT 2
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2006 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****):  *

Going into BASIC INSTINCT 2, you'll only have two questions. "Will it is be so bad that it's good," i.e. a great guilty pleasure, and "will Sharon Stone again cross her legs, sans undies?" As you can guess from my rating of the movie, the answer to both questions is a resounding "No!"

I guess it could be argued that the film isn't a total waste since it adds to our life lessons. To our favorite homilies, we can add one right after "Don't drink and drive." The opening sequence shows us that having sex while driving over 100 is downright dangerous. The number 100, by the way, refers not to Stone's age but to the speed of her car. Although it has been so long since the original film was released, you might think she must be a 100 by now, but she is actually just under 50. Those of you around that age may find the movie rather depressing, since Stone, with her creamy skin and youthful body, could easily pass for 35 or younger.

Even if Stone shows off a lot of her body in this erotic-free film, she doesn't reveal any of her acting skills, of which she possesses at least some. She just poses for the camera without ever creating a single genuine moment. In one of the most talked about sequels in years, you would suspect that Stone would want to give it her all. You would be wrong. But, as awful as her acting is, it is not nearly as bad as that of David Morrissey, her costar. Suffice it to say that he is no Michael Douglas. Morrissey is content to completely phone in his performance. (For the record, I think it was Jeanne Tripplehorn and Michael Douglas who made the original sizzle, not Stone.)

The hall-of-mirrors plot this time gives us a thousand reasons to suspect that Catherine Tramell (Stone) is the killer in a series of murders. Meanwhile the police, led by Roy Washburn (David Thewlis), become convinced that psychiatrist Dr. Michael Glass (Morrissey) is the murderer. Using movie logic, we are supposed to believe, therefore, that it has to be anyone but Catherine or Michael. But the way the story is playing with us, we know that logic is out the window. What is certain is that you'll never care who did it. You'll only care that this movie, which drags in every scene, will finally roll the ending credits so you can leave.

As the dead bodies pile up, nothing is more dead than the movie itself. "Everything is incredibly boring," Milena Gardosh (Charlotte Rampling), another therapist, says to Michael towards the end of this terminally tedious production. She is soooooooo right. The film is so boring that it would be easy to nod off and then convince yourself that you must have missed the best part of the picture, since what you did see was so off-the-scale bad. Well, if you do fall asleep during the film, an activity I highly encourage if your companion takes you to see it, I am here to tell you that you will miss absolutely nothing, no matter how long or when you snooze.

BASIC INSTINCT 2 runs a very long 1:54. It is rated R for "strong sexuality, nudity, violence, language and some drug content" and would be acceptable for older teenagers.

The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.

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