Village Of The Damned (1995) a retro review by Ryan Ellis June 23, 2005
'Village Of The Damned' is director John Carpenter's unintentionally hilarious remake of the 1960 "watch out for aliens and Commies" picture. It's not the least bit subtle or clever. Both the 1956 and 1978 versions of 'Invasion Of The Body Snatchers' pretty much got this story right and they're both far superior to Carpenter's lame-o horror flick. In fact, there's not a single scare in his whole movie. The outright failure to raise a single goosebump is a staggering non-accomplishment for the man who made 'Halloween' and 'The Thing'.
Courtesy a virtually undetectable gas, aliens or hippies or some damn thing knocks out the entire town of Midwich for a few hours. This gassy villain also knocks UP some of the Midwichian women. When offspring are born to the date-raped mothers, the various tykes look and act alike. They've got matching blonde wigs, flawless white complexion, and identical flourescent eyeballs. Plus, they seem to age in dog years. And, look out, they can read your thoughts. If someone tries to cross any of them, they use telepathy to convince the provoker to commit hara-kari. Times are tough in your one-horse town when the kids can think you to death.
For some dollar-related reason, Christopher Reeve (pre-paralysis, of course) and Mark Hamill are both in this flick. Geez, even though Superman and Luke Skywalker work together for the one & only time, it doesn't add up to anything. Maybe that's because Hamill has an irrelevant bit part, while Reeve is the star of the show. At least Reeve escapes the movie with a shred or two of dignity, although his "learn to love" lecture is overwritten, overwrought silliness. Kirstie Alley seems like she wants to wink her way through her performance as a doctor who tries to help save Midwich from its young oppressors. There are other actors in this sludge too, but they won't concern or interest you.
As indistinct as those three movie-star types are, it's the kid actors who bury 'Village Of The Damned' in the ground. If you're going for the "we'll subvert your culture through your children" theme, the most important roles to fill are the youngsters. As much as I hate to hack on children, hack hack. Lindsey Haun plays Reeve's daughter, the leader of this bleach-blonde wolfpack. She's too young (or not talented enough) to pull off the kinds of things Carpenter asks of her. She plays a child's version of bossy rage, which is far more annoying than frightening. None of these kids are believable as scary demon spawn things, so the movie dies slowly and painfully.
But what really destroys this film are the cheesy F/X. Every time the kids' eyes lit up, I was laughing my head off. This sort of post-production effect was probably the best they could do in the original '60s film. In the era of 'Jurassic Park' and 'Forrest Gump', you only go the Ed Wood route if you want to look like cheap morons. It's one thing to pay tribute to your inspiration with all the glowing eyeballs. When the effect is funny and not the least bit frightening, it's time to give George Lucas a call and see what his best techs can do to glamour up your F/X.
So the movie is a dud from start to finish. On the other hand, Americans in 2005 might dig the subtext. 'Village Of The Damned' says, "Beware of foreigners, who'll decimate your little town and not even bother to learn your culture. They'll all look the same, act the same, and they won't even show a healthy respect for the Man of Steel or Darth Vader Junior". In a post-9/11 environment, that tagline just about sums up the sentiments of huge pockets of "America's heartland". No wonder aliens always visit there first.
To damn my village, write to ryan222@rogers.com or flickershows@hotmail.com
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