Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005)

reviewed by
Harvey S. Karten


MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS

Reviewed by Harvey S. Karten

Warner Bros/ Castle Rock Ent./Village Roadshow

Grade: D
Directed by: John Pasquin
Written by: Marc Lawrence

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Enrique Murciano, William

Shatner, Ernie Hudson, Heather Burns, Diedrich Bader, Treat

Williams, Abraham Benrubi, Nick Offerman, Eileen Brennan,

Dolly Parton
Screened at: AMC, NYC, 3/21/05

You can spend good money on costumes, actors' salaries, and

on high-priced, on site locations like Vegas. That doesn't

necessarily make for a solid movie. You've got to have an

interesting script, meaning that if you're doing a comedy, as

director John Pasquin is presumably doing, you have to have

some laughs. Sadly, not even a mediocre "Miss Congeniality"

directed five years ago by Donald Petrie, discouraged the folks

making the sequel. Where "Miss Congeniality" was a wholly

predictable story of a tomboyish FBI agent who goes

undercover as a contestant in the Miss United States pageant in

order to find a criminal, "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and

Fabulous" is neither fabulous nor congenial. The portrayal of an

effeminate FBI agent is shtick that I thought went out in the

sixties, and the principal performer's pratfalls, sensibly limited

this time, are almost as embarrassing as Sandra Bullock's

Serpico-like portrayal of an elderly Jewish lady in a wheelchair.

Opening on a Thursday to avoid a clash with Good Friday, "Miss

Congeniality 2," written by Marc Lawrence, is anchored by a

performance of Sandra Bullock as FBI agent Grace Hart,

looking not a day older than she was in the initial offering.

Barred from doing undercover work because of her national

exposure in the Miss United States contest, she is set up by her

boss (Ernie Hudson), to work up some good publicity for the

Bureau. She is to be "the new face of the FBI," her gamin-like

posture nixed in favor of a make-up job by Joel (Diedrich

Bader), an annoying, stereotypical presence in the picture.

While agent Hart seems almost to enjoy her new role, her only

alternative being a desk job pushing papers, an event occurs

that changes everything. Miss United States, Cheryl (Heather

Burns) and the Bert-Parks-like pageant host, Stan (William

Shatner), are kidnapped in Nevada by a pair of thugs (Abraham

Benrubi, Nick Offerman) who appear more like hit men working

for someone with brains than people having the brains to

arrange for an abduction. Agent Hart, accompanied by a

bodyguard with anger issues, Sam Fuller (Regina King), have

so much difficulty getting along with each other that you wonder

whether they can be effective in catching the gangsters and

releasing the two hostages.

The thin movie plot is merely an excuse for Bullock–and to a

large extent King–to show their mettle in a series of skits, none

of which really works. During the Regis Philbin show, Fuller

demonstrates her bodyguard technique on the host, smashing

his instep, breaking his nose, and kicking him in the groin. At a

nursing home where the duo play wheelchair-bound mother and

nurse, agent Jeff Foreman (Enrique Murciano) plays the role of

the aging matron's son, eager to put her away for good in the

home, and asking the receptionist whether the place has a

euthanasia program–not terribly funny in light of the Schiavo

case. At Vegas, agents Hart and Fuller must go on stage

pretending to be men dressed as women, Fuller giving an

interpretation of Tina Turner while Hart tackles Dolly Parton.

Typically enough, the daring duo get into trouble with the local

FBI chief in Nevada, Collins (Treat Williams), who accuses them

of messing with his turf.              

A film is in trouble when the highest praise goes to the costume

designer. Deena Appel's threads are sumptuous. But the

physical gags fall as flat as Dolly Parton when attacked by Ms.

Bullock, and the sentimental touch–the gradual easing of

hostility between agent Hart and agent Fuller, flowering into

friendship--is predictable enough to be guessed by the audience

a half hour into the story.

Rated PG-13. 115 minutes © 2005 by Harvey Karten

harveycritic@cs.com
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