Ring Two, The (2005)

reviewed by
Bill Clark


THE RING TWO (2005)
by Bill Clark
http://www.fromthebalcony.com
bill@fromthebalcony.com
RATING (Ripe or Rotten): ROTTEN

URL: http://www.fromthebalcony.com/ring2.htm

QUOTE: "The Ring Two is exactly what every horror film tries not to be,

and that is boring."

The phenomenal success of 2002's The Ring confuses me to this day. For

the life of me I could not buy into the film's preposterous story of a

video tape that kills people one week after viewing it. During the

screening I attended of the film I had to oftentimes suppress my

laughter, especially in the presence of the petrified teenagers sitting

just one row in front of me. In an age of horror parody, which also

lived a healthy life in the 1980's, The Ring just didn't gel for me.

Yet I had hopes going into The Ring Two, the sequel to the remake of

Ringu, the Japanese phenomenon whose first offering was directed by

Hideo Nakata. Great scott, he's back! Nakata takes the directing reigns

from Gore Verbinski, who suitably directed The Ring. I'm sad to report

that not even having the original directing mastermind onboard could

save this clunker of a film.

Rachel Keller (Watts) and her son, Aidan (Dorfman), have relocated to

quiet Astoria, Oregon since the terrors of the first film. Rachel now

has a newspaper gig, but she doesn't work much. As the film opens, a

teen is attempting to get a girl friend to watch the infamous tape,

undoubtedly to rid himself of the week long curse that is about to

strike him dead. See, it was discovered in The Ring that if a copy of

the tape was made and shown to someone else before your week was up,

then you're off the hook. Things don't turn out as planned, and Rachel

is quickly onto the story. Samara, the evil little girl who terrorizes

through the tape, is back and ready to hunt down Rachel and Aidan, all

in the hopes of taking human form through Aidan's body. Vigo the

Carpathian from Ghostbusters II would be proud.

Rachel spends most of the film talking to various goofballs, including

Samara's mom, Evelyn (Spacek, in truly bizarre form), in the hopes of

ridding Samara's curse. Poor sap Max (Baker) is thrown into the mix

since Rachel and Aidan need a place to shack up away from Samara -

hopefully. Elizabeth Perkins also turns up as a family counselor who

thinks that Rachel is abusing Aidan. Snore.

The Ring Two is exactly what every horror film tries not to be, and

that is boring. With the exception of a few semi-interesting scenes,

The Ring Two is a talky affair that never really goes anywhere. Since

we're seeing essentially a verbatim copy of the original film's story,

we have no choice but to sit and hope something happens. After an hour

of this nonsense, it becomes quite apparent that The Ring Two is just

another early 2005 release concerned with just the dollar signs.

All of this leads up to possibly the most anti-climactic climax so far

this year, with a poorly constructed and photographed finale that

contains no punch. At least the first film had that. And also like the

first film, The Ring Two could have done itself a big favor and ended a

half hour earlier than it did.

Naomi Watts can pull off the two emotions - confused and concerned -

her character requires quite well. It is David Dorfman as young Aidan

that steals the show, however. This is despite the fact that you could

get drunk in five minutes flat if you took a shot of something for

every time he turns to the camera and looks evil. Gary Cole, aka

Lumbergh, may be the most memorable character as he turns up briefly as

a sleezeball realtor.

Like The Ring, this film is overall nicely directed by ringleader (get

it?) Hideo Nakata. The film has an appropriately solemn look and a few

sequences may give some viewers a round of the chills just from their

look. Screenwriter Ehren Kruger, who also penned Scream 3, plods the

story along much too slowly and never makes anything very interesting

or worth caring about.

The Ring Two is just as preposterous and silly as its predecessor. For

me, these films simply do not work on much of any level other than a

few cheap, if somewhat effective, scares. If you must satisfy your

craving for a dish of The Ring, stay home and watch the first film, or

better yet, Ringu - the real first film.

web: http://www.fromthebalcony.com

email: bill@fromthebalcony.com
Copyright 2005 FromTheBalcony
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