INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS
---------------------
Legendary German adventurer/director Werner Herzog ("Fitzcarraldo,"
"Aguirre: The Wrath of God") allows enthusiastic screenwriter/producer, Zak
Penn ("X2," "Suspect Zero") to produce his latest documentary, an
investigation into the human need to believe in dark and mysterious
phenomena. Handing over the production reins doesn't relieve but creates
headaches for the director, though, and his film is literally upended by a
tragic "Incident at Loch Ness."
When the trades announced last summer that Werner Herzog was off to
Scotland to make a documentary called "The Enigma of Loch Ness" I couldn't
have been happier. Here was one of my favorite filmmakers going to my
favorite spot in the world to offer his unique perspective on an eerie,
romantic myth. But once I'd seen the humorously dramatic trailer, I knew
I'd been punk'd! Ready to go with the flow and see Herzog have a little
fun, I was disappointed yet again, as writer/director Zak Penn can't make
up his mind whether he's making a comedy or a creepy "Blair Witch" style
mocku and so delivers neither.
The film begins promisingly with veteran cinematographer John Bailey
("American Gigolo," "The Big Chill") making a 'making of' documentary (on
the documentary within the mockumentary) called "Herzog in Wonderland."
Herzog invites us inside his home where he's preparing a dinner for a party
that evening. He shows us mementos from his films, such as a native Indian
arrow coated in anticoagulant from "Fitzcarraldo," discusses the exacting
preparation of yucca root and the idea for his latest film. (Why are only
Americans abducted, Herzog wonders - and why are they mostly extremely
overweight women who are not only abducted but gang-raped by aliens?) The
dinner party itself is an intriguing blend of "Enigma" collaborators
(producer Penn, Mexican cinematographer Gabriel Beristain ("S.W.A.T.")) and
Herzog cronies Jeff Goldblum, Crispin Glover and card-trickster Ricky
James. The first sign of trouble is introduced when Beristain begins
talking about lighting and special effects, only to be hushed up by Penn in
exaggerated fashion.
Herzog's preparations for his trip are highlighted by an amusing conundrum
involving mismatched shaver handles and safety blades. 'Why are you
filming this banality?' Herzog asks Bailey before admitting 'filmmaking is
a chain of banalities.' In Scotland, Herzog is faced with a production
coordinator, Robert O'Meara, who wants to refocus the director on the
area's economic troubles and a 'sonar operator' who is really a Playboy
model (Kitana Baker) hired by Penn for some T&A. Penn's bad calls add up
until the production has lost its cinematographer and sound mixer (Russell
Williams), the locals are furious over the filmmakers' hoax and the renamed
Explorer IV is dead in the loch with something large and angry harassing it.
Penn's idea was a good one, but the first time director allows his cast to
pursue wildly divergent performance styles. Herzog himself is terrific
playing it straight, thereby delivering some of the film's biggest laughs,
but too many others either go for broad comedy (Penn himself) or show their
inexperience in front of the camera (Beristain, Baker). Penn's writing is
also uneven. For every bit of believable skullduggery (the producer's
insistence on 'official' 'expeditition' jumpsuits, Captain David A.
Davidson's superstitious unease regarding the renaming of his boat), he
goes over the top (cryptozoologist Michael Karnow's general quackery and
loony laundry habits, trying to convince Herzog to film a papier mache
Nessie head, a climax ripped off from "Jaws"). Penn's best bit is a
reversal of a mythic story involving Herzog directing Klaus Kinski with a
loaded pistol, something Herzog vigorously denies before taking the piss
out of it. Special effects are nicely done, but by the time Herzog dons a
wetsuit to jump into the loch, the laughs may still be with the star, but
they're also aimed at the director.
C+
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C+
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