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Open Water, a film made for around $200,000 which looks like a film made for
around $210,000. Its running time is shorter than a super-sized episode of
ER, and its premise is swiped from the episode of The Simpsons where Bart
and Lisa get left behind during a school field trip to Capital City ("If I
can't rely on the buddy system, I don't know what to believe in anymore").
In Water, two big city workaholics take some time off to relax down in the
Caribbean. Susan (Blanchard Ryan) and Daniel (Daniel Travis) sign up for
one of those deep sea scuba dive things and have the time of their lives
checking out underwater life. When they surface, their boat is gone and
they're in the middle of nowhere, miles from land even they were able to
tell which direction terra firma might be. And then the sharks come.
Water's setup takes about 25 minutes, and we never really see Susan and
Daniel in any danger until the 60 minute mark. That's a long time for
something over less than 20 minutes later. And don't be sold by that whole
Jaws meets The Blair Witch Project line, either. Water just isn't that
scary, unless maybe you're the kind of tool who actually partakes in the
aforementioned underwater shenanigans (in which case, you deserve to be
terrified and then eaten by sharks). I guess the BWP comparison makes sense
because both films were produced for very little money, but beyond that, it'
s just silly.
The acting is beyond stilted, and the direction amateurish (you get what you
pay for, I guess), but the idea that a film this close to becoming a Samuel
Beckett play (particularly Happy Days) is finding its way to the multiplexes
makes me laugh. Out loud. Oh, and by the way, Water is rated R for Ryan's
nude scene - not coma-inducing psychological terror, or anything. It's also
supposed to be based on a true story, or "inspired by real events," or some
such nonsense. If that were true, then 90% of the film would be total
conjecture. And that's even more than Monster.
========== X-RAMR-ID: 38493 X-Language: en X-RT-ReviewID: 1311200 X-RT-TitleID: 1134547 X-RT-SourceID: 595 X-RT-AuthorID: 1146 X-RT-RatingText: 6/10
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