Catwoman (2004)

reviewed by
Martin Phipps


Grade: ** out of ****
This review contains spoilers.

A movie needs two things above all else: a good begining and a good

ending. A movie needs a good begining because you have just paid to

be there and you are expected to watch it for two hours. You don't

want the audience members to be sitting there thinking "Oh no, what

have I done? Can I slip out of here and go see Spiderman II instead?"

A movie also needs a good ending. Without a good ending, movie goers

will feel cheated and they definitely would not recommend a movie to

their friends if they feel cheated.

Catwoman fails on both ends. It starts with a meeting at Hedare

Beauty with Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone) and George Hedare (Lambert

Wilson). Why this scene had to be shot like a music video with split

second cuts between Sharon and Lambert and even to the board members

and then back to Sharon and Lambert I honestly don't know. I remember

thinking, as I watched that scene, "So this is why people hate this

movie so much!  The editting is really bad!"  Maybe if the movie had

been sent back and re-editted from the original footage then it would

have been a better movie.

Thing is, the ending was bad too. Catwoman (Helle Berry) said "I'm

not a killer," but this was immediately after kicking Laurel Hedare

out of the window. Yes, it was in self defense but what cop after

seeing this happens tells her to run away so that nobody knows that

Patience Phillips is Catwoman? Doesn't that make him an accessory

after the fact? Couldn't he have testified in court that it was self

defense? What goes into his official report? That she slipped and

fell? Or that Catwoman killed her and got away but that he doesn't

know who Catwoman is? How far is he willing to go to cover up for

this woman who he slept with? Surely the department knew he had slept

with the prime suspect in a murder case. Why wasn't he taken off the

case as soon as the possibility conflict of interest reared its head?

The movie had its moments. The comment early in the movie about

Patience Phillips having been given a leather outfit as a present was

good foreshadowing and we did get to see that outfit later. But then

the Catwoman outfit that we see in the rest of the movie is different.

Couldn't we have had a scene where Patience, like Selina Kyle before

her, cuts up her old outfit and sews it back together, turning a sexy

outfit into a sexy costume?

Ultimately, why did she even need the costume? That was never

explained.

Actually, the costume didn't work for me. Yes, we got to see Halle

Berry's skin but a lot of the time it wasn't Halle Berry we saw in

costume, it was all CGI. This aspect of the movie disappointed me

more than anything else: if I wanted a sexy cartoon, I could have

rented Japanese animation. I thought the whole point of the costume

was that we could see Halle Berry's skin, not a computer generated

character's skin. It would have been much better to have given her a

full body costume and then it wouldn't have been so obvious when she

was being rendered by CGI. It's clear from the way this movie was

promoted in the trailers that the target audience was heterosexual

males, not young kids, so why spend so much money on CGI anyway?

Even the cats were CGI most of the time!  Would it have been so hard

to train a real cat to crawl up onto Halle Berry and then have her

wake up on cue?  We know that this is only a movie so why remind us of

this fact all the time by showing us CGI like this? Another example

is the use of CGI in establishing shots: would it have been so hard to

have used a helicopter to shoot footage of an actual American city

rather than having all these shots be computer generated? I sometimes

felt like I was watching a video game: I felt guidy watching the city

scenes swirl around in front of me in ways that couldn't be achieved

in real life!

I did enjoy this movie though. Halle Berry looked great and the fight

with Sharon Stone almost had me cheering for Catwoman. The script

wasn't bad but the ending left a lot to be desired. Don't they

realise that they need to make sure that the first movie makes money

BEFORE they make room for a sequel? I somehow don't think a sequel to

Catwoman is ever going to happen. Halle Berry's career will go on

though. I think she will continue to be offered roles and people will

continue to go seeing her, hopefully in better movies than this.

Martin
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X-RAMR-ID: 38413
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1307180
X-RT-TitleID: 1134224
X-RT-AuthorID: 10821
X-RT-RatingText: 2/4

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