Thunderbirds (2004) 95m.
TV producer Gerry Anderson might not have been a
household name in the US during the 60s, but to kids
in other parts of the Western World he established a
cult following that reached well beyond his target
audience and endures to this day. From early school
days through to high school and even university, it
was hard to find someone who didn't admit to watching
the unconsciously surreal STINGRAY, the casually
groovy JOE 90, or, if you were really cool, the more
sober CAPTAIN SCARLET. But although each had its own
group of supporters, it was THUNDERBIRDS which most of
us agreed was the staple Anderson show. What made
THUNDERBIRDS popular was undoubtedly its catchy name,
hour-long running time, jaunty Barry Grey theme, and
futuristic vehicles lovingly crafted and rendered by
model-makers who obviously cared about what they were
doing.
The models were the main reason to watch shows by
Anderson, who rather bizarrely mixed sci-fi technology
with simple marionettes, although this was simply a
consequence of starting with puppets (I use this as a
catch-all term) and sticking to what he knew as he
developed each new series. As time went on the look
of the puppets evolved from caricature to realism,
finally giving way to real actors in the shows UFO and
SPACE:1999, who, predictably enough, played second
fiddle to the spacecraft and other gadgetry around
them.
The concept of the THUNDERBIRDS TV series was that a
wealthy philanthropist by the name of Jeff Tracy lived
with his five sons on a secret island that formed the
base of their global rescue organization. Each son
piloted a highly technological rescue vehicle that had
its own specific function (and colour) and each week
two or three of these Thunderbirds would be
responsible for averting some disaster. Everybody had
their favourite Thunderbird (mine was always
Thunderbird 4, maybe because it appeared less often
than the others, or maybe because it was smaller and
bright yellow) and the interpretation of the models
was one of the areas where any updated version of
THUNDERBIRDS was always going to miss the appeal of
the original series. It was never going to be an easy
task to capitalize on the success of the TV show
because producers were never going to be able to
duplicate the impact that the Thunderbirds made upon
kids back in the 60s. Of course model-making had
become somewhat passé in light of CGI, and by 2004 it
was decided that the Thunderbird vehicles needed a
digital makeover.
If you're a THUNDERBIRDS enthusiast interested in the
movie for its CGI depiction of the five rescue craft
doing their thing and you can accept the necessity of
replacing the marionettes with live actors then you
might figure that the film could be enjoyable simply
as a revisitation of a childhood memory. However this
is not a remake of the show so much as a nod to it. I
have no doubt that fans of the original like to
compare checklists of every wrong decision of the
movie (and chief among these will be: [1] The
replacement of Lady Penelope's memorable pink
Rolls-Royce with a Ford; [2:] Brains' fathering of a
son – WHAT? – and more to the point, WITH WHO?; [3]
Tin-Tin not only discovering that her uncle is Jeff
Tracy's nemesis The Hood but also inheriting his
telekinetic powers; [4] That annoying and apparently
ubiquitous field reporter constantly referring to
International Rescue as 'The Thunderbirds'; and [5]
Jeff Tracy shunting Virgil out of the cockpit in
Thunderbird 2 when he should be back in the control
room where he belongs), but chief among THUNDERBIRDS'
sins is that the premise of the TV series has been
abandoned just as effectively as the Tracy boys have
been marooned in space for nearly the entire story,
leaving us with a movie about three kids having an
adventure on an island with a few in-jokes thrown in
for all of those familiar with the TV show. Most
unforgivable is that the time element and suspense
that was the main thrust of each episode of the series
is completely absent, and if there's more suspense in
a puppet show than a sixty million dollar movie, you
know that something has got to be seriously wrong. If
there was ever a mission for International Rescue,
this script is it.
If you're not a devotee of the original, and such
fanboy nitpicking is irrelevant to your viewing of the
film, then THUNDERBIRDS is average at best. It's
non-violent and mildly entertaining but the story is
made up of the same sorts of situations over again and
the banter between the pre-teen heroes is just awful.
Instead of seeing the Tracy family spring into the
driver's seat we get father and son heart-to-hearts
between Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton) and his youngest boy
Alan (somebody else) who only wants to have fun, fun,
fun (but his daddy took his T-bird away). Amongst a
cast that is either relegated to the periphery or
dominated by kids, Ben Kingsley manages to strike a
distinctly underplayed chord as arch-villain The Hood,
and Sophia Myles and Ron Cook steal the show as
International Rescue's London-based agents Lady
Penelope and Parker, even if they do end up becoming
more like THE AVENGERS as the film goes on. Nearly
everyone else could have been played by anyone else –
Paxton has nothing to do other than act the
responsible parent, while Anthony Edwards is stuck
with repeating a tiresome joke about his stammer.
When the five anonymous and interchangeable Tracy boys
line up for their final group moment you'll be
thinking think less about Thunderbirds: The Sequel and
pondering more about their secondary career as
Thunderbirds: the Boy Band.
As adult criticisms these are, of course, more
befitting an adult product. It's not that
THUNDERBIRDS is a bad film if you recognize its target
audience as being kids (as indeed was the puppet
series) and if viewed exclusively by that demographic
it's a fair enough effort that has its moments. But
for adults with no knowledge of the original show it
plays like a bewildering promotion for toys, and for
adults who used to admire it on TV as children, it's a
wasted opportunity. If anything from 60s television
is crying out for big-screen treatment, it has to be
THUNDERBIRDS.
sburridge@hotmail.com
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